time alone

okay so let me start this off with saying i LOVE my babies more than anything in this world..

now let me rant for a moment.. I had my first baby at 19 found out i was pregnant at 18 though, so being an 18 year old you know it was my first year of freedom where I can do whatever I wanted to do whenever I wanted to do it then after about three months of being 18 I find out I’m pregnant so I didn’t really get much time of just being myself as an adult exploring the world making my own routines you know what I mean, now I am 21 and I have two babies had my second at 20 they’re only about 15 months apart… So like I said I just feel like I didn’t get to have my own life I just went straight from high school routine to mom routine and I love my babies but I feel like I missed out on that time of my life to just be my own person and explore the world explore what I wanna do with my life and I’m kind of dwelling on that thought lately I don’t have much time for self-care or to do the things that I enjoy doing as my own person I am 24 seven a mom with both my babies with me basically all day every day I don’t really get much of a break and I don’t really know what to do to get this feeling to go away but don’t really know exactly where I would be without my babies but like I said I just feel that I don’t do enough for myself I don’t even feel that I know my own self enough please tell me this makes sense and that i’m not alone ..

what are some things you do for yourself as self-care or just things you enjoy doing so that you still feel like your own person not just mom

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Sometimes after I put my son to bed when I’m not feeling all myself I’ll have an everything shower followed by some sort of skin care routine and put curling product in my hair to help control the frizz from never ending mum buns 😂
I usually put on whatever show I’m watching and eat desert before going to bed so I have some form of me time before I have to get up and do it all again.

Is there anything you enjoyed before pregnancy? Like music, photography, arts, gardening, etc? You could always do an hour of that with your kids so you’re doing something for you while also teaching / introducing them to something new. If they’re too little you can set up an activity or toys they can play with by themselves in a safe area while you “co-play” and do your own thing that you enjoy.

Do you have any friends or family that could look after them for a night or afternoon so you can either go out or have a quiet night at home?

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AITA

In the uk there is an outbreak of meningitis, in a specific area mainly. My BD has family from that area and decided to go and meet up with them, I said if he does then he cannot have contact with the kids for 7-10 days after incase he picks anything up. Am I being over dramatic? I reallyyy don’t want my young kids getting anything serious

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21

Baby clothes

Just out of curiosity, why do parents love zipper onesies?

Don’t get me wrong, I tried zipper ones it’s easy to zip in and out when putting it on the first time and taking it out, but I find it difficult when changing diapers especially when baby is asleep.

I prefer those kimono style buttons where it’s easy to button or too down button with crotch snaps.

Is everyone thinking the same or different? Lol

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21

This might rattle some people

Ok, this might get a bit long, and a bit bumpy, so get comfy and buckle up.

So about a week or 2 ago, there was a post on here regarding sleepovers. Not letting their child go to them as you can't trust who'll be at the house etc.

Now, given recent incidents in nurseries and schools, plus my own experience back in the 90s, I am more concerned about sending my child to nursery and later school than I am to a friend's house for a sleep over.

The other day a man was jailed for abusing children at the nursery he worked at. A woman has been arrested for sleeping with an underage boy and then getting pregnant by a different underage boy while on bail for the first offence.

Young girls and boys get sexually harassed and bullied when at school, not all of them. But more than you think. And not just by other kids, but by adults who we as parents are trusting to look after our kids.

A sleepover, is a more controlled environment, with only a handful of people coming into contact with your child. A school, a club etc there can be 100s of people coming into contact with your child.

I was targeted at 7 years old by the owner of a prominent private school. Thankfully, I wasn't SA'd. In year 5 of primary school, I started to develop early, I was harassed by the boys and teachers made remarks about how my uniform didn't fit right, always "adjusting it" around my chest and legs.

Years 7-9 of secondary school were hell. But it was all under the guise of "we're just messing around". A teacher twanging my exposed bra strap (none uniform day) is not "messing around".

Boys pinning me down trying to rip open my shirt to see my breasts.

I fear for my daughter. I hope she takes after my father's family, flat chested.

We need to educate all our children, what is acceptable behaviour. And to come to us, as their parents should ANYTHING happen.

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3

At this point I’m not enjoying motherhood

My 22 month old is horrendous at the moment🫣 biting, hitting, pushing, pulling and shoving not only adults but children he also wants what other children have and will just snatch it away from them.

We repeat ‘nice hands’ ‘be gentle’ ‘let’s share’ etc

But how do I make him understand what he’s doing isn’t very nice? At the end of the day I feel like I’ve just been saying his name all day and nothing else.

What can I do?

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4

Car seat

No idea which car seat to get next. Please hit me with your recommendations, 1year+ (preferably rear facing or 360). Thank you 🫶🏻

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12

Dummy

My baby has had a dummy since about 2 weeks old (now 5 months) and over the course of the last month we weaned her off it during the day only for naps and night (which was fine) and then 5 days took it completely away during the day.

The first day no dummy was fine, the second bit rougher. But now it feels impossible she just moans and cries all the time it takes ages for her to go down to sleep (she’s always been an amazing sleeper)

I thought it was meant to get better as time went on not worse. I’m at my wits end I dunno what to do.

Currently typing this as she screams uncontrollably in the car and I cry with her cos I can’t do anything.

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