Lazy dad

Does anyone else have to ask their partner to do things for their child?
Like my husband does not take initiative to do anything at all, unless asked. Tonight i asked him to help with baby and he said hes too run down, he just had a day off yesterday and stayed home all day by himself and has done the same today. Im so pissed off.
Like mums dont get a day off when we are sick yet most days im running round trying to look after myself and the baby. His idea of looking after baby is sticking the TV on or putting something on his phone.
Anyone else have this problem? Or any advice on what to say? Cause apparently I’m the rude one for kicking off at him telling him he should care for his child.

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In a similar situation (sometimes) if I ask him to do anything I get ‘why can’t you do it’ slowly getting better though, no advice though xx

Yep! Or when I stress i get “you only have to ask and il do it” I’m like I shouldn’t have to ask that’s the point 🤯🤯😂

P.s I always get the rude/snappy comments thrown at me hahaha

Same here!!! Gets so frustrating sometimes xxx

Yes. Always

that “you only have to ask” is very narcissistic trait. I get it all the time.

Advice - I just tell him how it is I’ve told him he’s effing lazy! And yes he will never know how to do it as good as me if he doesn’t practice… And come the time I go back to work we are making a rota of nights because since my LO was born I’ve done ALL the night shifts.

I’ve done all the night shifts too!! And my partner says that’s why your on maternity for! Xx

Okay so my answer is “so looking after a baby isn’t a full time job? You expect me to be the house maid, the cook, the mum, the loving partner 24/7 and not need a break. You go to work 8 hours a day and think it’s okay to do F all throughout the night.” They work 8 hours a day we work 24?????!!!

And I also said to my partner don’t expect anything from me in the bedroom if you’re not pulling your weight with night shift …. He soon changed his attitude 🫠

Oh and also make him aware when (if) yo are returning back to work he will be pulling his weight as you’re no longer on maternity leave x

I have said all this to him! I go back to work in 2 weeks, baby was crying the other night he told me he heard her but he was to tired to get up I said what and I’m not tired no men just don’t get it do they! Xx

this is me, apparently i get aggressive 😂, nope just pissed off haha

thiss is exactly what i say and it never drills into his head. And he wonders why i dont want him touching my after a long day of him not helping smh

in our community

Divorced at 5 months PP

My husband just divorced me yesterday.

I'm 5 months post partum and I feel like complete shit. I literally can't stop crying and I don't feel like eating and this whole week my milk supply has gone down due to stress and not eating. What helps with milk supply?

The divorce- on Monday at 5am me and my husband had a small argument on text. It was regarding him not catering to my love language. I sent him a video on how women shouldn't have to ask and how laziness can kill a relationship. We've had many arguments regarding this prior about him not catering to my love language and he doesn't buy me flowers or doesn't think of me. Anyways this night, he text me saying he doesn't do Mother's Day and all that, he doesn't want to buy me flowers because my sisters buy me flowers and he can't be arsed with my moods. He said I've not been his peace and said he's done.
I replied "okay. All I want is for you to appreciate me and love me as your wife and mother of your child. I'm not pushing you away, I'm begging you to love me etc etc. I'm done too."

I come home from my errands that morning and he's upped and left. He took all of his belongings, clothes, drawer, tv- everything.

He didn't ring or text me or anything.

The property is in my name and as he left and didn't leave the key, I changed the locks the next day. I feel this is what pushed him over the edge.

He officially divorced me on Saturday.
I'm 5 months post partum and I have a 5 year old from my ex partner too.

I just want to talk about it with someone that's not biased. Was I asking for too much? I feel he just didn't want to be with me anymore and used this as an excuse? Or is that me overthinking....
Input would be nice xoxo

Partner is giving me the silent treatment

So I was struggling with my postpartum anxiety bad yesterday. My partner and I was out for drinks with family. He kept making jokes about treating me a bit shit.
Which no one thought was funny. I am usually quite patient about him using me as his jokes, but yesterday it hurt.

When we got home I told him it made me feel disrespected. Now he is giving me the cold fat shoulder?! What do I do ?

wtf moment?

I have been going back and forth with my husband lately. Well not lately it’s been years. He is the best husband and father you could ask for; for two weeks. Then he’s inconsistent. It drives me mad. Then he’s back to husband and dad of the year , then back to same inconsistency. I talked to him about this last night and he said “if i was lovey dovey and acted like this all the time you’d get bored and cheat on me.”

Ok so for starters i know some of you are going to say omg omg omg super controlling omg leave omg. No im not doing that. Im happy he finally admitted his wrong doing and taking accountability for it but id like to know the deeper reason, the what the f has him thinking like this reason, the personality trait reason. He’s obviously scared I’m going to leave him; so much so that he’s doing this dumb shit to prevent it. Past trauma? What do y’all think I can do to get him to see I’m not going anywhere? I’m consistent already, I married him, we have a baby. He really is the love of my life. I have never loved another man like this before.. but this shit is for the birds and he thinks he’s keeping me doing this but in actuality it’s making me lose respect and detach.

FTM

Hello,
FTM here. At what age do you stop applying cream on nappy area during nappy changes? My 2 year old boy isn’t toilet ready yet but uses both nappy pants/pull ups and regular diapers

worried about a family members baby

So this child is three months old and she isn’t being fed from 10pm till 6/7 am idk if this is normal or safe and it’s been like this since 2 months i believe as she won’t wake her for feeds she goes to the pub drinking most nights with her baby and her baby has already been in hospital with a very low temperature bc she was outside but as soon as she was in a warm car she warmed up and doctors said she was fine she lets cats play with her bouncers toys that go over her and doesn’t strap her in she is cold from what i’ve heard from other family members and they’ve tried to warm her hands and she’s wet herself at my parents and she hasn’t had a spare vest to put on her and i offered her a blanket as she didn’t have one and she declined and she won’t listen to anyone about it she’s already left the baby with my parents for the night to go out drinking and personally i couldn’t leave my three month old because my parents said she just cried and im really unsure whether to report her or not and her house smells of dog wee/poo as she’s never home to look after them and that’s not safe for the baby i understand being lonely but she doesn’t need to go to the pub every night her friends could
go
to hers or her she could go to a cafe that has closed doors not sat outside a cold pub and it’s a bit of a rough pub in my opinion

my parents are concerned btw but they say i shouldn’t report her as it’s not fair but i feel how the baby is treated isn’t fair

Forgiving a partner…

Long story short - found out 2 months ago my partner of almost 10 years has slept with two girls, one of which he’s been seeing for 8 months - during this time I was pregnant with our third child and gave birth. (She had an abortion)
I found out, he cut all ties (still works with her)
I want to try and move on from this, we have three children , and a home… I can’t face the idea of being without my children half the time. I want to try and make things work. But I can’t stop the intrusive thoughts / images of the two of them together…. Any advice if you’ve been in a similar situation?
Sick of feeling this rubbish, also 5 month pp so hormones/confidence is in pieces😣😣😣