How do you not worry so much?

Hi 🩷 First, congratulations. It takes courage to try again after a loss.

I attended therapy through my losses and it helped a lot during my pregnancy that finally made it to term. The biggest help for staying positive was to actually allow room for the worry, sadness, and grief alongside the joy. Thinking negative thoughts won’t cause a loss, and forcing yourself to be positive won’t prevent a loss. It could actually create more anxiety trying to control your thoughts and tell yourself to be positive all the time.

During the early weeks of my pregnancies I allowed myself to cry and worry and speak my thoughts out loud to my partner and trusted circle. Those early scans are the scariest to attend because of the past traumas. I don’t have advice for coming to them calmly, I just went and made sure my schedule was open afterwards so I had time to grieve or celebrate, and that helped.

My pregnancy progressed healthily, the anxiety faded with each passing week and each healthy scan.

Also, before they start scanning you, tell the care team that you experienced a loss and have worries and fear, and describe how you would like them to share what they see. I told them I wanted them to not be silent, narrate everything they see or don’t see even if it might be bad. The silence at the beginning is the worst!

Hi I went through the same I miscarried twins at 13+3 in May last year then got my positive in October I was excited but worried at the same time I found keeping my mind busy helped aswell as telling my worries to my partner or someone that's supportive