Pissed off at a sleep consultant! Anyone had a negative experience with sleep training?

I guess sleep consultants can only advise what they feel may be best, however no one knows the baby as well as their mum. I would agree with the co sleeping being changed so I can see why she suggested that, but 4 hour wake window is very long my baby would also never last that long! Don’t feel like shit, you haven’t and aren’t doing anything wrong xx

I understand but initially on a sleep consultation call I said this is my baby and his routine it’s working fine we just need small adjustments to help him get from 5am to 6/6:30am. She came back with whole new routine and adamant to put my baby in his own room. It’s just frustrating as this has actually made him worse now :( thank you for the reassurance x

Ah I see. sounds like she hasn’t listened and just ran away with what she feels would work 👎🏻 you do whatever you feel is best. Annoying you’ve paid and had a rubbish experience but you know baby best. continue to do what works best for you both. I always remind myself, this isn’t forever! You’ve got this ❤️

thank you for understanding every baby has their own temperament! This makes me feel so much better x

ahh that’s true! Some days I forget to remind myself there is an end to it all. It just feel’s never ending at times and like I’m stuck in a cycle!

I would go back to what was working for yous. Sounds like yous had a good routine. Some baby's just get up early though x

Please don’t let anyone tell you cosleeping is the problem here - it is biologically normal for a baby to want to sleep next to their caregiver and in other countries around the world it is the norm for babies to sleep with their caregivers until they’re much much older than our little ones are. If it’s working for you, keep doing it. I’ve co slept with my boy since he was 3 months old. Sometimes he’s awake every hour, sometimes he’ll sleep for 6 hours, have a feed and go straight back to sleep. Sometimes he wants to start his day at 5am, sometimes he’s still fast asleep at 6:30am. What I’m trying to say is that if the co sleeping was the problem, he would consistently be awake at 5am everyday and consistently be waking every hour and he doesn’t. There’s so much going on in their little bodies that we can’t even understand so be kind to yourself and do what’s right for you x

Sounds like you’re doing a great job on your own!
You know you don’t actually need any qualifications to be a ‘sleep consultant’ and take peoples money ….

Babies need so much support and I’ve learnt acceptance is key.
Sleep isn’t linear. You could sleep train and have a few months great sleep then baby is poorly and you’re back to square one. Even adults don’t always sleep well.
There’s a book called the 5am club that says waking up at that time optimises your life 😂 roll with it! haha

thank you for this reminder! I was made to feel guilty and like I’m doing such a bad thing by co sleeping. I love the cuddles and the closeness so we have naps together and he is happy in his cot for night but when he isn’t that’s also ok! She even went as far as saying wouldn’t your husband want you back in the bed and room vice Versa. I mean no my husband is happy doing night shifts in turns and cuddling with our baby and it really hasn’t changed our relationship because we sleep in separate rooms whilst our bubba is grown enough. I just feel so disappointed!

so true! Thank you x

Haha that makes sense if I see it that way then I will definitely feel optimised in life 😅 ahh that made my day thank you xxx

Bless you - you’re not doing anything wrong. My husband sleeps in the spare room and has done since we started properly co-sleeping. I breastfeed too so it made sense for us, I get less disruption in the night, my husband gets a full night sleep and then gets up with baby in the morning and I have an hour to myself. Co sleeping is such a normal thing to want to do as are contact naps. My LB has 2 naps a day, 1 in his carrier whilst I walk the dog and the other a contact nap in the house. He will sleep by himself when he’s ready. Everyone keeps saying things about my relationship (which is fine) and how I’ll have a 5 year old in bed with me if I’m not careful but I think that would be a privilege. If at 5 my LO still feels comfortable enough and wants the safety of my bed then he absolutely can have it. Keep doing you 🙂

I love this! Thank you for sharing xx

We are 9.5 mo and still cosleeping and contact naps. I’ve no plan to stop and love the secure attachment I’m building with my LO and that she knows I’m always there whenever she needs. It was a tough adjustment but it won’t be forever so I’m cherishing the cuddles. Don’t ever feel guilty for being close to your baby, sounds like you’re doing amazingly responding to your baby’s needs. My LO is up every 30 minutes in her crib so clearly she’s not ready to sleep on her own yet and I’m happy to support her with what she’s expressing that she needs. As above, the majority of the world cosleep and contact nap way into toddlerhood, it’s only westernised countries which are obsessed with getting baby into a cot for 12 hours! It works for some babies which is great, but they all have different temperaments and need varying levels of support. Sleep is developmental and will come when baby is ready. These sleep consultants make me ill, capitalising on sleep deprived parents!! Sending love ❤️❤️

Also to add, my partner is also in the spare room for now. It’s tough but this is a short season and baby’s need for comfort comes above those of any adult. We are both adults and know it’s temporary, my partner and I are secure in our relationship and know baby’s needs come first. It baffles me how we would be unhappy for our adult partners to sleep alone but yet expect the same of a tiny baby who is fully dependent on us for everything! It’s far more common than you think and you’ll come out the other end. Please don’t worry and keep doing what’s right for your family ❤️. Would recommend the group biologically normal infant and toddler sleep on Facebook xx

love everything you’ve said!! Me and my husband are very content in our choices and our argument is always that we’ll have many many years to sleep in the same bed again when baby is grown up but we’ll never get this time back again or the chance to build his emotional foundation again ❤️

I don't see how cry it out would help for sleep. They are babies and it's how they communicate. I would take what you've paid on the chin and leave it. Your routine seems to work well other than an early rise. You have received their programme so technically got what you paid for even if it didn't work x

I would think about what it was that you originally wanted from the sleep training and then work with the sleep consultant on achieving these goals in a way that feels right for you. As someone else said above sleep consultants often have a certain method they apply to everyone but doesn't mean it works for you.

couldn’t agree more ❤️

I’ve used a gentle sleep consultant, and these are the few tips that have worked for us:
1. Room temperature. I was overdressing her to keep her warm and she was too hot. Started following the exact room temp/dressing guidelines and we immediately went from 3/4 wake ups to 1
2. Same wake up and bed time every night. 6:30am wake up (because we need to get up for work), 7:30pm bed time. She said it HAS to be the same every night (10 mins wiggle room either side)

that’s so helpful thank you x

Can you share the room temp details or did you follow guidelines online for this x