AITA to expect my partner to man up?

Found out we’re having twins and my partner who occasionally has emotional wobbles anyway has just been a wreck. It’s been super hard to deal with on top of being sick and exhausted and everything else.

AITA if I expect him to get a grip somewhat? The future is scary enough without feeling like I have to babysit someone else when I need support at this time. He’s constantly sniffling and making a big scene when he could just go off and deal with his emotions in private so I don’t have to see it every day.

Not saying that he doesn’t need time to freak out or have a little wobble every now and then - everyone is entitled to their own feelings. It’s just so annoying he literally cannot make a simple decision between two things lately and breaks down at the smallest things. I’m 13 weeks pregnant and fear I might end up snapping and saying something unkind if I can’t get through to him soon.

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Yes yta not just for saying he should "man up" but for being so inconsiderate, it is possible for men to get perinatal and/or postnatal depression you shouldn't be shaming him for it because it seems to me he feels bad enough already. Encourage him to seek help instead of making him feel like a burden, I'm 27 weeks pregnant and I get its exhausting and it's hard for us but he is going through changes hormonally mentally and physically too. No it's not fair to entirely rely on you but if you're going to tell him to "man up and get a grip" he's not going to get help meaning he's going to struggle more which means you'll argue more so not only are you making it worse for him you are for yourself

YTA :(

I appreciate that like I've said I get its frustrating and a lot to deal with I'm pregnant too but based off her wording she's said occasional emotional wobbles then said he's constantly sniffling and making a big scene and said she doesn't want to see it it seems like it's just she doesn't want to see it not that he's actually making a big song and dance over it. Overall her wording has just made her seem very insensitive to his emotions which again I'm not saying it should entirely fall on her but even this post it seems like she's belittling his emotions obviously he's not going to want to seek help if his own partner is essentially acting like he can't be upset which is what I'm getting from this post. I know she's the pregnant one and she's having to carry the babies but at the end of the day it's not his fault he's struggling with it and if she's going to belittle him and tell him to be a man he's not going to get help so maybe unintentionally but she's not helping herself either

I know it's hard for her and she does deserve the support I'm not saying she should have to do everything alone but if she wants him to help with support she needs to also acknowledge it's hard on him and there's clearly something bothering him that he needs help with and making him feel like his problems aren't as big as hers aren't going to solve anything

This sounds very cold tbh. It sounds like he has depression not "wobbles". Has he spoken to a doctor? Taking medication? Getting any counselling? Eating and sleeping and exercising well?
I get its very frustrating especially if he isn't helping himself but i feel if situations were reversed and your husband was using this horrible attitude/language towards you people would be much more sympathetic. Sit him down and tell him he needs to get help but also you need to help him as well as that's what partnership is about. Pregnant or not, if you love him and want to continue the relationship you will have to support him too.

NTA, but the situation sucks here. You are entitled to have boundaries including need for peace and quiet to nap if you need to deal with your pregnancy discomforts. I really hope he gets help because you will need support from him as well and no one can pour from a cup that is not full.
I hope it gets better for you both soon. IAPT Google that he can self refer to talking therapy.

For decisions my partner is like this too and I told him it was stressing me as we needed stuff done so he just let me make a lot of decisions. If it's spending he can set a cap or something say anything up to £50 you can just choose and anything more you can just show him what your favourite is and why and if he wants he can look at the contenders. Hope that helps the decision paralysis! I also tried to understand that in his job he makes 1500 tiny decisions all day and just cannot anymore

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Post partum dad

I have a 2 month old. A few weeks ago my husband crashed out because he didn't feel like he was getting to bond with her. I started exclusively breastfeeding around that time and honestly didnt see the big deal. Baby and I left for a few days and when we got back home, everything was fine. He was extremely hands-on. He helped with my meals, her bedtime, bath, stories.....for a few weeks it was great. Then he randomly sounds depressed af. He says our lo is better off without him, he wants to sleep all day , he asks me not to watch tv then tried playing a video game. He refused to reply to me when i asked any follow-up questions. Then he woke up our baby trying to race me to the bathroom first thing in the morning . He's doing a weird mix of crying, trying, and giving up. Im starting to feel like I cant handle him not being able to handle life with baby and just want to be alone. Are there resources for men?

Is it bad of me to think this or no?

My husband has been abroad for work (1 day and exploring for 1 day) for 2 and a half days which means I’ve had both kids (1 year and 4 year old) for 2 and a half days plus cooking, cleaning, taking them to clubs, bedtimes!
He came home late afternoon and said I’m so tired, I just need to chill. I said can you wash up whilst I sort kids dinner out, he said he’ll do it later which means he won’t do it and I’ll end up doing it so I said no do it now please otherwise I’ll end up doing it and he said well you have been home and I’ve been away so you’ve just been relaxing.
Don’t know what planet he is on but having the kids alone for 2.5 days is not relaxing. I was stressed!

When he was away, I did miss him and wanted him to come back but now he’s back, I want him to go away again😂
Is that bad?

My 2 year old won’t eat nothing but snacks

Is this normal ? He won’t even try anything I eat .. he really only like pizza fries and spaghetti… nuggets and snacks bananas some other fruit but like anything else he won’t eat if try but I don’t want to force him I’m just I feel like bad I mean he isn’t losing weight I breastfeed mostly still

Really bothered by this

A friend posted this and it really bothers me because that is exactly how she parents her kid, and it's rather unfortunate because when our kids hang out together, her kid has a meltdown at least 5x within an hour. We have know them for years and it's only gotten worse. My kids will concede to hers, because they don't want to see their friend crying, but it sucks because they give up so much of their toys and enjoyment to keep the peace. We aren't hanging out as much anymore but it's rather sad to think she doesn't intervene more in her child tantrums and just let's it slide

Shift worker daddies - advice please?

My husband works shifts (6am-6pm days or 6pm-6am nights) so when he’s on shift we either get about an hour or 2 before he goes to work or an hour or 2 when we gets home with him.

I don’t think people who aren’t married/have babies with shift workers fully understand the impact of feeling like a solo parent sometimes.

Does anyone have any advice? I do have parents who can help but I struggle to leave my baby with others as I always feel like they don’t understand the need for tracking wake windows or feeds and our baby will not sleep unless we black out a room or go for a car drive . Everyone seems to think ‘if he’s tired he’ll drop off’ - no he’ll just get overtired and have to then pay for it during his night sleep. So I feel like it’s just easier for me to do it all myself.

When my husbands off work he is great but I do take the mental load of telling him what to do or even reminding him of wake windows etc because he’s not here and forgets routines. He’s also being tested for ADHD currently so there’s that on top of shift work.

Just looking for advice on how to stay sane/keep routines or share loads with shifts workers?

Thank you ❤️

Feeding

My son is coming up to five months and I just started giving him oatmeal and rice cereal. When can you start trying veggies or fruits? I only give him the oatmeal or rice cereal once a day right now which is what the paediatrician had said to do. I’m just curious to when anybody tried anything else with their kids cause my son eats a lot of formula and he’s VERY curious when I eat.