Mum rant

Bloody hell I’m sorry to hear this. I don’t understand why old mothers try to control how their daughters raise their own children. How narcissistic to believe the way they did things were the only correct ways. Does she think she did a perfect job? Crazy talk.

It’s hard when the people we love and want to look up to are disappointing. No advice really other than challenge her thoughts if you have the energy otherwise just protect yourself and your energy and set boundaries. A lot of people of older generations expect us to come to them and us to do as we are told but it’s unreasonable. You have the young children she should absolutely make the effort if she wants a relationship with them.

My mother in law is amazing - she breastfed all 4 of her children - one of them till 15 months so I have an ally there. My mum doesn’t understand it; but is learning as she never breastfed and was never interested in it.

My Nan on the other hand. I could have slapped her for telling me to cover up IN MY OWN HOME. Told her where to stick it and educated her on feeding in the 21st century. Can’t say I’m comfortable around her anymore though, that’s her fault though. And it’s made me see her less 🫤

For context, I will and will always feed my baby anywhere and everywhere. I personally do not give a crap

I feel like since having our little one (he’s 4 months on Monday) there’s been an expectation from family that we make the 40 minute drive to see them which I don’t agree with at all and for me, it’s got to a point where I said to my partner the other day I’m not putting the effort in anymore because it’s not reciprocated and I’m fed up of feeling like crap about it. I’ve distanced myself from them (this is my partners family). It’s a bit more complicated for me as my boyfriend’s brother and girlfriend had a baby 9 days before us and we really don’t get on (me and the girlfriend).

In terms of the feeding, I managed to pump for my little one but never had any issues with family making comments. Just because that’s what your mum did with you, doesn’t mean that’s what you should do with your baby, especially given the now guidelines on weaning. If your mum is all for breast feeding I don’t see why she’s taken issue with your boyfriend’s sister and your own.

The characters ran out 🤣 there’s a sense of constant competition with the girlfriend about the babies and who’s doing what first and it’s so draining, I ended up taking her off social media this week (we barely speak anyway) but when we’re at the parents house we’re civil but that’s it, I don’t make much effort with her and her with me x

@Rhiannon i always saw my mum as the cool young mum 😅 but that hasn't translated very well into grandparent mode...

She doesn't even consider boundaries. She just took my baby off to the kitchen one time and gave them biscuits when I'm pretty tough on what they have as snacks. I took it away once I saw what had happened and told her it wasn't cool. She thought I was joking...

@Rebecca my boyfriends mum didn't breastfeed at all I don't think and yet I've had more support from her and regularly breastfed at their house and never felt uncomfortable.

I'm sorry to hear you've got to deal with that. Parenting is hard enough without it all becoming a competition

My own boyfriend wasnt supportive with my first, my sister doesn't like it and the first time I really took their opinions on board! So with my second I was a mumma on a mission, I feed when and where I want 🤣

I had to completely block out any and all negative Nancy's. I isolated myself and my baby because I was nervous as a first time boy mama. Where do I go to breastfeed? What if someone says something about when and where I'm breastfeeding, etc. Breastfeeding is a job within itself and kudos to anyone who attempts it, regardless if you have tons of supply, have to supplement, or if it's short lived. I breastfed for 6 months and I didn't have a supply of milk and I also had to supplement. I had a lot of health issues and he grew teeth, fast! He started biting and I was like I'm done.

As far as the whole mom situation, I feel you on that. My mom has only seen her grandson 3 times and he is about to be 10 months old. My Dad however, was there at birth. Almost daily at the hospital because we were there for at least a week or so. I had post partum pre-eclampsia and had to have a magnesium drip. He has driven around 3-4 hours each week to visit us and takes us out to eat and comes to visit. Hasn't skipped a beat and I'm super thankful for him. Other grandparents live about 10 minutes away and we always go to visit them, but they have never come to visit us.

Oh, and my mom had the audacity to ask me if she could stay with us for about a week or so when she has her cataract surgery 🤣

@Emma my boyfriend wasn't at first but has grown up 😂. His sister didn't breastfeed for long with her first two but with her third shes aiming for a year because I've done it and she's come to me for support which I think is so awesome 😊

Honestly, I used to put my parents & the ones I loved the most opinions at the front of my conscious. But once I had my son, he comes before everybody. EVERY SINGLE PERSON. EVEN MYSELF. Meaning, I will do whatever is best, healthier, for my child & if anybody disagrees, simply don’t engage in conversations about those things with them 🤷🏿‍♀️ continue to do what’s best for your baby and don’t let anybody’s feelings change how you raise your baby. My boyfriend didn’t agree with Breast feeding either. It was strange. But here we are 8 months later & now he says “I’m glad you did that I think it was the best for him” . Solids for a 3 mo is insane . But the generations before us are different