BD duties?

So realistically how much should a baby dad be helping with baby if he works during the week ? My BD literally does not help at all unless I literally ASK him to and even then he will moan about it or be too distracted playing video games!! My baby is 8 months old and he has only ever done one night feed in his whole life cos I woke him up throwing up and asked him to help me. But my issue is any time I bring it up or complain about it his excuse is always ‘I work’ like I’m aware of this and I don’t work and stay home do all the chores etc but then when he is home I am still doing everything while he puts his feet up? He will occasionally help but he will either do it wrong or not know what to do from his lack of ever doing anything, but he’ll do one thing then think he’s done it all! Is this normal because it’s very overwhelming for me and it really is getting to the point it’s putting me off him as a person or am I just overreacting?

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No thats totally not overacting, It’s sad that he doesn’t want to help as it creates a lovely bond. I am very lucky that my partner is really helpful he works 11am-7pm Monday to Friday and as soon as he comes home he wants to have the time with her doing the feeds etc whilst I cook dinner. Then he will do her feeds till 2-3am (he always had gone to sleep later so it works good) then I take over for the day. But on weekends we both share it 50|50 and he’ll even stay awake longer. You shouldn’t have to ask for help. Imagine if you worked and he had your child all day I’m sure he would like a little break from a feed / nappy change and entertainment for your baby especially at that age: this is his child too not just yours because he works. Makes me sad that some men act like they give you a child then that’s it it’s your responsibility. Xx

He is the child’s father so should have role parenting just as much as you. Staying at home with the baby all day is work. I left my partner with the baby for a whole day and after that he completely understood the hard work that goes into solo parenting while he’s at work, I’d suggest booking a day with your friends - some you time and letting him take on the duties for the day. After I did that, my partner does all night feeds. When he comes home from work he takes the baby, I’ll sort out the dinner and he will 9/10 give the baby his food and then bath and put to bed. Don’t feel that you need to be parenting on your own just because he’s working, you both have a role to play in raising the child you both decided to have. Hope it all works out xx

During the day while he's at work then of course it's your job to look after baby. But once he's home everything is shared. That includes baby, chores, everything else.

You work too. Being a full time mom is WORK. Personally my bf takes two hours when he gets home on baby duty then I do bed time. Weekends he does the mid day shift while I do mornings and again bedtimes. It works well for us.

While he’s at work you’re at work when he’s home it becomes teamwork

I am sort of in this situation as well, his role is to provide for the family but also at the end of the day when he’s coming home from work everything should be equal, the feeds, the changes, the bathes, etc, it’s not overreacting if those are your feelings. being a mom is also just as tough as a father going to work.

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