Colic rant - again!
Today I went to see my friend who has a 4 week old newborn, my baby is also very tiny still at 9 weeks. Seeing her baby made me realise just how hard me and my husband have had it this past couple of months. Our little boy has been suffering the misery of colic and has pretty much cried non stop since coming home with us. My friends baby was sleeping in his bassinet when we arrived, woke for a feed and then went straight back down. Our baby only sleeps on my chest, day and night (daytime is in a sling). I had no experience of babies prior to my little one arriving and I’ve been thinking every single day that I’m failing him and doing something wrong. His colic crying has definitely contributed to situational depression, self hatred, even suicide ideation at times which I’m not proud of (I would never do anything like that my mind just goes there when I’m feeling low and helpless). My friend seems to have an amazing bond and connection with her son, keeping her cool when he cried and settling him back down by meeting to his needs. My baby does not settle when I meet his needs. I do not keep my cool when he cries, I cry myself and anxiety floods my body because I know we’re in for a long ride.
Anyway, just posting this as a safe vent somewhere impartial as I feel guilty for comparing myself and my baby to my friend. Just want to say how much I love and support all you other mums out there with babies with colic. Nobody can understand just how hard this is until they’ve been through it themselves. My friend couldn’t believe or understand how my boy had never taken an independent nap. I know as his mum that it’s because the colic hurts him so much and the only place he feels comfortable and safe is with me.
I’m not sure also that non-colic mums could understand how special those small windows of smiles and coos are for us. Those moment of hope that one day soon he might not be in pain and that he could be a healthy & happy baby like the others.
Sending a hug to anyone that needs it today as I sure have. ❤️
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I had a really hard newborn as well and my mum said hard newborns make easy toddlers and honestly I really feel that's true in my case. He's only 18 months but an absolute angel compared to some other toddlers his age. Some of the mums I know whose babies slept through early hit the 4 month regression hard and haven't slept through since so just because they have it easy now doesn't mean they always will.
I know you'll hear it a lot but it does get easier.
Every baby is different and you can only experience the baby you've been gifted so no one else can comment on your parenting.
Keep surviving and you'll be rewarded eventually 😊
I’m so sorry your son is having such a hard time with colic, that must be awful for you both. I’m not sure if this is at all helpful, but my baby (now 5.5 months) also had really awful colic and cried for hours and hours every single day - once 8h solidly - until about 4.5 months. Everyone told me it should improve by 3 months and when it didn’t I was devastated, for both me and her. It’s the worst thing in the world not to be able to help. We tried everything. I was so scared about her having this awful experience of infancy and never being happy as a result. But, she is now doing much better. We have an amazing bond, she smiles at everyone, things are wonderful. Yes, she still cries sometimes and that is so hard, but much less, and there is a light in even the darkest tunnels. You are bonding and creating a happy baby for the future just by continuing to be there for her. It may not stop her crying but it will be reducing her cortisol that you’re holding her.
…you are doing amazingly well, and it must be so difficult, but I promise it will get better. I hope you can get some support in the meantime? I don’t think people understand the toll it can take. And FYI my baby has never slept independently either, nor have many babies I know :) you’re not doing anything wrong.
Both of mine had colic and it was HARD.
My second in particular was a very difficult baby and still is at times as a toddler.
I can relate to a lot of what you've said. I couldn't understand how some babies just slept, fed, slept without any trouble. It definitely made me feel inadequate.
Sending you strength x
That's awful hard 😭 my little boy was very unsettled during the day and struggled with feeding. He would cry loads, anytime he was put down, we thought it was colic but then the health visitor asked the gp and she said it was actually silent reflux, hes been on medication for it and has been a different baby since! Just wondering if you've been to your gp about it incase it is silent reflux too?
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