Financial Issues

My guy and I are going through a rough patch in terms of financials. He got great benefits from his mom passing, and from selling her house. We were in the process of having a baby alittle after. He told me the night before our baby died that he had been spending the money like crazy and we were in the process of being evicted. And also that he had been watching porn. I guess I had a placental abruption and our son was still born. Now we’re actually evicted living in a motel. He’s pressuring me to get a job to help out with his mistake. He says he doesn’t feel like I have his back because I am not helping him out. But I don’t really want to. I dont mind working again, but I don’t feel like I need to. He didnt consider me when he bought a 13,000 car, or hundreds in mushrooms. The worst part is now he has a really good job. But he still wants me to pitch in to help his mistakes. Part of me is ready to leave him over this because I would never leave us like this when I knew we had a baby on the way.

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Very sorry about your baby. Do you have other kids? What do you do during the day? Is getting a job helping him out only, or would it be helping you out as well?

We don’t have any other kids, i still stay here and take care of things. We agreed I could stay at home and start up my soap making company. He makes enough to send me my own spending money every pay check. It would be only for him.

basically to help him pay off the eviction money, his over due credit cards, and klarna after pay things.

Ok, what I’m trying to get at is …. If you working would get you all out of the motel into a stable home faster, I see working as a benefit to you, not just him.

that’s a good way to look at it. i guess i am kinda blaming him and harboring resentment about my son. I don’t want to help him at all. but if it’s helping me I should.

Definitely go to work! Make your own money that he can’t touch! Obviously he’s not good with it. And it’s your choice to leave, but either way you need to gain your own independence from him (financially at least). But you should NOT have to pay back his debt! That’s so sad he wasted his money, hopefully he learned from it. But you learned that he can’t really be relied on, so take it as a learning experience and have your own bank account that he can’t have access too.

My MIL got $30,000 from a house from her mom. She spent it all in 4 months and we almost got evicted. After that she missed multiple payments (and we split rent and she already made 2x her share from her job). Rn she’s living with her friend while we got our own place. It’s been over 5 months and she’s still living a broke life. Some ppl will never help themselves

thank you! i will! that’s one thing im staying firm on. I’ll help myself and get us into a spot and create a fallback for us, but i’m NOT paying your credit cards for shit we didn’t need to buy.

yikes! i’m sorry you had to deal with that. you’re right, just have to have your own. keep yourself safe, sadly i’m seeing that now.

You do need to though or leave him. If that is your mindset you are just keeping yourself in a bad situation. If you’re willing to stay still then you should help. That would be like him saying you couldn’t stay any longer because you’re not contributing. It’s silly

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Family culture difference on money

Sorry this is long, I hope some of you get to the end and give advice!!!

So I’m a very thrifty person, things are tight at the moment, the cost of living crisis and my house is heated by oil so things are extortionate. We aren’t on the bread line but we aren’t flush, hubby might be made redundant so there is some financial pressure.

Sometimes I buy my sons something nicer, on the justification that I can sell it on after (♥️ vinted ♥️). I have also been planning on pretty much breaking even most of the baby things I bought from face book market place, side by crib, baby changing unit, etc.

Hubby and I have different money cultures with our families (he’s Indian, I’m British). I’m my family we don’t mix money, we would help each other out if someone was in trouble and will get each other gifts on special occasions. With hubby’s family money is much more fluid, they will give each other things worth thousands of £ just because.

Hubby’s brother bought him a new laptop and a new Google phone, he’s been very generous to hubby. Hubby hasn’t given the same back because brother is much richer.

Hubby and I mostly share finances. If it’s relevant I’m the higher earner.

Now to the point! My babies are so cute they’ve given hubby’s brother (currently single) baby rabies. He’s asked for our baby stuff when we’re done with it. He’s been so generous to hubby I feel really stingy saying no. But I’d never have bought some of the stuff if I wasn’t going to get a return on it - the thought makes me a bit anxious. If we gave all our baby stuff given the second hand value it still wouldn’t equal what the brother had given hubby.

I thought maybe I could give him some stuff but sell some stuff, but hubby said then his brother will just have to go out and buy that stuff, so I should name my price and ask his brother for the money. That makes me feel very uncomfortable, given how generous the brother has been to hubby.

So what do I do ladies? Give it all and suck it up? Give part of it and sell parts on Vinted/FB, or ask hubbys brother for money for it and be uncomfortable? Or do you see another solution?

No one is being entitled or rude here, just a culture difference I need to navigate.

My relationship is failing I feel so alone.. I need a girlfriend to talk to :(

I'm a sahm and I feel so stuck... anyone going through the same thing? I could really use someone to relate to and talk through this with. Feeling so vulnerable but if I don't I won't be able to pull myself out of this

Go to dinner ideas

Looking for recipes you use in your family that are not the traditional lasagna, shepards pie, ect

Going back to work!

Already thinking about this! Told my boss I was pregnant this week at 10 weeks, he was so happy for me. He’s recently became a first time Dad and was showing me pictures of his baby. I told him my plans about going back after 6 months and he looked at me like I was mad, am I!? I absolutely love my job and cannot imagine giving it up, I manage a team and am petrified my position won’t be there if I had a year off. My husband gets 6 months full pay so the plan would be for him to have the last 6 months off and I also made it clear to my boss that I would like to go part time. That way we can hopefully parent together 4/7 days rather than just the weekend! I am such an overthinking! 🤣 but this is what I’m struggling with the most, I’ve worked full time since I was 17 (12 years ago) and the max time I’ve had off in one go is 2 weeks when I got married. I’m sooo excited to be a Mum and we decided now was the right time, which it 100% is! But I feel so on edge about not working! I’m sure once I’m on maternity leave I won’t even think about work! Has anyone else felt the same?

What are we giving our soon-to-be 3yo for their birthdays?

We have the magnetiles, we have the kinetic sand and play doh, we have the play kitchen…

Literally, is there anything left in the world to buy this spoilt kid? 😅

Baby groups?

Hello there!!
I hope you enjoying the 5month babies 🫠 the cuteness outweighs everything over here.
We live in the area of Croydon & need to start going to baby groups ( I NEED it more than him though) but I am a little bit clueless. Any recommendations?
We are happy to travel a bit too.
Thanks ☺️