Does he want to know our daughter or does he have an alterior motive?

The BD and I split up last week. He wanted me to have an abortion and I said I couldn’t and didn’t want to. He packed his bags and said he was leaving if I’m not having an abortion. Within the same day (later) he decided to stay because “he loves me too much”. He was, at the time, unemployed and I was supporting him so very insecure about the fact he may have been using me. He may not have been but who knows for sure. He then gets a job and is still around. I asked him about baby names one night and he got very stress about it. He ended up saying the baby’s dressing gown I bought is a trigger for him which makes him feel angry. I think he resents me for keeping the baby too. Anyway, I noticed he has started hiding that genus online on WhatsApp. He never used to and this is new. When I confronted him he said he hadn’t changed it but I said there’s no way it would do it itself so I didn’t believe him. I’ve also noticed he added a woman recently and she then hearted his profile pic on fb. He said she is a friend but is she? No point checking his phone as obviously anything would be deleted IF he was talking to her. End of the day I have no idea if he is or not. I just find him adding women on fb and insta including Only fans girls absolutely disgusting when I’m a relationship. I asked him to reassure me that nothing was going on. He said he would then didn’t. I told him to do it or leave so he left! Fast forward a week. We haven’t spoken all week yet still says in a relationship on his profile. He texted today asking how me and baby are. I said good and that we had a scan Monday and he said why didn’t you tell me!? Let me know and I’ll come to the next one. He’s never been to any before!? I feel very confused as to what he is thinking and he isn’t the type of person you can talk to. Even if I do talk to him I’m never sure what’s true and what’s a lie. I’m worried about letting him into the babies life if he has an alterior motive? I already know he was using the “baby card” as he put it to get himself a better flat when I’m not even there with him! I’m worried and unsure what to do. Advice please!?

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I had the exact same with my bd. In my case it turned out all my worst doubts were true. He’s never been to a baby appointment but constantly asks to come. He’ll always cancel or just leave you there and not turn up. I tried many times to extent the invitation and try keep my bd in the loop. Save yourself the disappointment and completely block it out. If he wanted to, he would show you and you would have no doubts. I wish I had blocked mine in the start, my bd has made my whole pregnancy miserable and depressing.

Sounds like a lot of stress and mind games. Until he starts to make a continuous effort, I wouldn't bother with any communication unless 100% necessary

@Christina I like this comment. Straight to the point and exactly what I need to hear. It has been TREMENDOUS stress with him. I’ve been wanting to enjoy my pregnancy but always having to walk on egg shells around him and almost pretend I’m not as he hated it so much. I will do this but I’m worried he will make an effort at first and then tail off. That’s more what I’m expecting. Xx

Even if he makes an effort at first, just be cautious and keep in mind that it may die down. I can only imagine how it's making you feel. I had a situation where I couldn't enjoy my baby shower, my partner at the time/baby's father didn't come and I felt like I couldn't even bring it up again after it had happened. You should be able to be excited and share all your emotions with your partner. Wishing you all the best ❤️

@Christina thank you Christina. I appreciate the advice.

Genius manipulate King and master narcissist...run!

You have to be strong and stick to your guns! Let him know what you need so yiu guys can progress if not then leave! But you also just have to watch everything question everything because men will lie lie lie! Mine led me to believe he stopped talking to the girl he cheated on me with while pregnant. Fast forward to 8 months later as he was still living at my house not working! We get into a fight i kick him our he decided to go into a sober living program hes an alcoholic.....comes out all of a sudden dating the same chick now supposedly engaged and pregnant!!! Had me complete fuckin fooled as of he was changing

I always say once trust is gone there is no point in staying because I can't forgive somebody for cheating

Ladies, I’m not sticking around. We are over 100% BUT he wants to be in her life and I feel I would forever think “what if” if I don’t give him that chance. It may even help him too.

It's good that he's stepping up as a father. I hope you're okay x

@Christina I’m struggling mentally tbh. I feel exhausted but I’m a strong person. Just feeling a little low at this moment but I’ve been ok all day

It's tough, but well done to you for doing what is best for you. When are you due?

@Christina thank you I appreciate that 🥰 I did it all for her ❤️ I’m due august 3rd 🥰

Awh, not too far to go now and it's 3 days before my eldest daughters birthday :) I hope everything goes well for you ❤️

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