My partner doesn’t want the baby

I am 5weeks plus pregnant and it’s my first pregnancy,my partner doesn’t want the baby as he told me to get an abortion and I refused to get one and I made up my mind to keep my baby,before I even found out I was pregnant,I went through his phone and found out he’s been messing around with two other girls,that broke me down and till date I haven’t recovered from that,he doesn’t even ask about how I’m doing and trust me I’m just trying to be strong because of my baby,I cry almost everyday and he’s someone that I really do love so much. I’m not sure how I’m supposed to move on from this whole situation and focus more on myself and my baby.
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I'm going to say something that may be unpopular. I love my babies, but being a single mom was incredibly hard, and I couldn't fully be there for them. If I had the chance to wait until my current husband was in my life, I would have. My kids would have experienced less trauma, and so would I. Poverty is rough and nearly impossible to escape from. Being a single mom is a sure way to get there. If you have the community and support to do this, you should. However, there's nothing wrong with waiting until the right circumstance for family is there for you to build.

I’m the complete opposite. I felt like how would I cope after me and my sons dad split when he was one (he’s now nearly 15) he’s had 2 great family lives, and he loves my partners gf. I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for my kids. Yes it will be very hard but I don’t regret it at all. I have a daughter who is 11, and her experience is different, had a dad in and out etc but we are closer than ever. I actually find it easier with him not imvovled, not getting a break is hard sometimes, however, we are like best friends. I still work and always have. It’s made me not trust men at all though, or even think about wanting them, but i don’t regret it, and actually said Id like another baby without the dad…. 😅I’m now nearly 30 weeks doing it on my own without one… years after my first 2. They have never gone without, holidays, parties, at Xmas, always dressed fine, my house is always clean etc, it may have put a bolt on me career wise but I’ve always done what I can and they are my life

I am 22, ftm, first pregnancy, no abortions. My bd wasn't apart of my pregnancy (lived in different states) still isn't in her life (other kids). Girl this shit is HARD! I have times of regret but then again she is a mini me which makes me want to do right by her. PPD is hard too and it will be okay! But listen I didn't find out I was pregnant till I was 4 months in . It was also illegal in the state I was in for abortions. Ask yourself who are you doing this for? And if it's worth it... if you made up your mind start buying diapers now

Definitely not going to be easy but others do it and I believe you can do it as well. We can be friends if you don’t mind. Even if it’s someone u just want to talk to

Abort the man or should I say "boy" quick to lay down and spread your legs but can't step up and be a father bye bye👋

@Jessica very well said

Your baby will be ok it has you and yes it's hard but lots of moms do it alone

Some have partners and still do everything for kids alone you can do it

I'm sorry for your broken heart if he grows up and fixes himself maybe you guys could work it out later on down the road but he sounds like he has alot of growing up he needs to do and you should be first priority not second to others that isn't right to you even if you weren't pregnant

Baby girl don’t get an abortion, U will regret it later on in life. Don’t get me wrong u will not be the first and u will not be the last.For ur partner to say that to u he is a very selfish man and he need to grow some balls. There are a lot of women that have been and are going through exactly what you are going through now and trust me, girl. I have been down that route twice in my lifetime and I am still battling it now. Feel free to DM me privately we can talk. ❤️💯🙏

My bd broke things off with me right when we found out I was pregnant because he wanted me to have a abortion and I decided I couldn’t do that. He moved a few hours away to be with some other women(who 3 years later is still with and has another daughter with her) I did the pregnancy alone living with my very supportive parents. I luckily was able to apply for disability since I wasn’t able to work due to an injury. That’s how I’ve been supporting us since. It’s definitely hard, my mom took 2 months off work to help me with my daughter and when she went back it was hard but as time went on I was able to manage better. Her father only comes around once every month or 2 and takes her overnight for a visit otherwise she rarely sees him. It definitely will be really hard if you have no family to support and help you but if you have the money and support then you should be able to do this with ease. Good luck hopefully it will all work out!

Even though I have a boyfriend who is a great father I'm doing most of the childcare of our 4 month old baby. It's hard but the look of sheer joy on my son's face when he sees me in the morning melts my heart everyday

All I can say is you are beautiful and young. This man doesn't deserve your time or attention if he is out doing who knows what. On top of him saying straight up for you to get an abortion. It for one is your body your choice. If he doesn't want to help you or help raise this baby... leave. You will be better off on your own and finding someone who actually respects you and will care for you and that child. I understand you love him, but imma be harsh... it doesn't sound like he loves you. He might say it, but someone who loves you works things out and doesn't entertain others. Please do what will be best for your mental and emotional health. 🤍

Single mum here 🙋🏻‍♀️ the guy I was seeing at the time did the exact same thing.. I broke all contact from the day he told me he didn’t want anything to do with my little boy and done it alone ever since. Trust me it’s HARD but if you’ve got support from family and friends you can do it believe me.. feel free to message me your local as well.

Yes @Elena u r 💯 right and it will get better, it only can.

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Been through this please feel free to message me if u need someone to talk to you are NOT ALONE 🩷

Girl we are women of color! This is our “typical story” in the US! By their design of course. What I will say is that you CAN DO IT. I’m doing it now. By myself. He wanted it, his family didn’t, so he went missing. This is actually the best pregnancy I’ve had of 6! No lie. That baby will be just fine and you JUST DO. Stop stressing that baby out. Stress has life long effects on the baby. This will pass, but that energy you put on the baby won’t. Let that man go live his life and play with the RIGHT female. He’ll be getting his ass whooped by one in no time. The point of keeping the baby was to be happy. Not sad silly. 🤪

And poverty. Please don’t even start thinking about how hard it is! It can hard at times BUT ITS WORTH IT!! It shapes you and your children. THEY CLEARLY DIDNT SEE YOU ARE ALREADY KEEPING THE BABY AND DONT NEED TO WORRY ABOUT THAT SHIT RN. Men come and go. You want your baby so enjoy every bit of it. Aches and pains and all. This is an interesting and amazing time!

Its very hard raising a child alone, but if i, at 40, with 0 support system and 2 chronic debilitating conditions can do it, so can you. 🤗

You can do this and in time it will make you stronger and adapt to it. And you will look back and see how far you have come and it will be worth it.

I’m 21 my baby daddy left the min I told him I’m pregnant we weren’t even boyfriend and girlfriend but not once have I thought about abortion because it not the child’s fault that he’s dad is a dickhead I’m against abortions and having a child that is urs is a blessing.

Girl keep strong for your baby and yourself. Don’t let him get you down! My first pregnancy was on November and I had an abortion because he didn’t want my baby as was threatening my life. It was the worst decision I had ever made in all my life I still cry to this day and I’m 8w + 3d pregnant now. That whole experience taught me how to love myself so much more, life is tough with these boys that we think are “men” initially but it all up to you how your life pans. This is a vital part of your pregnancy journey you don’t need the slightest amount of stress in this time so please. Keep your head up and remember you won’t be the first or last single mother, and you’ll be a great one too❤️

Same girl same. I don’t really have any words of advice cause currently going through it. He’s been standoffish and ignoring me anytime I share anything with him. I can say I blocked him, and I’ve been a lot more at peace since I did.

You and your baby both have purpose. JESUS loves you both and know that you were purposed and formed in the womb. This is not an easy process but just pray for the right community that will help with your baby. Do not abort.

Also, let me add, I took the first abortion pill at 5 weeks. Immediately regretted it. Did not finish the rest. Had to be put on progesterone my whole first semester. I’ve never prayed and cried so hard in my life. Don’t let anyone pressure you to make a decision you are going to regret for the rest of your life

@Jessica your answer is honestly the best and the most real answer In here. I could not have explained it better. @Juliet I know you say you have decided to keep your baby. But as a single parent mum, it is extremely hard. Like Jessica said, unless you have ample amount of support, the struggle will be torturous. I often advice women to abort their babies because as a single parent mother, I love my son but I hate motherhood because of the struggle that comes to raising a whole human being on my own! Listen to that ‘raising a whole human being on my own’. Yes loads of single mother’s do it, but at the expense of what? Everything!! Life would be strange without my lil man, but if I had to take back time, I would have chosen to be single and free because having children by these deadbeat men who have nothing to offer but their dick and sperm, I realised that I deserve more than that. Please choose very wisely. Once baby is here, you can’t go back and your life will change forever.

😔 hi juliet , first of all congratulations on your pregnancy, im so sorry to hear what your going through 😞 , u deserve so much better its easy said then done though!! The main thing is to concentrate on urself and ur baby , its hard when ur goin through alot of shit esp when ur pregnant as stress isnt good for the baby, im 32 weeks with baby no3 and this pregnancy has been mostly emotional and tears for me as iv had shit past few months with my partner at one point i was goin to leave him , i try not to get stressed and emotional 🥹 but its so hard.. have u tryed talking to him? Im glad to hear that u told him straight that u want to keep ur baby. Hes in the wrong even telling u to get a abortion 😞, it takes 2 to make a baby not just us mums , men have no idea at all do they!!! But with him to cheat on u when pregnant or not pregnant thats not nice at all!just shows how much he cares and loves u to do such a horrible thing to u , he sounds like a silly little boy whos playing around

Men lik him needs to man up an think that he has commitments now going to be a father , he needs to step up and play father role instead of flirting etc with other women. He should have respect for u as ur the babys mum he made the baby with u not just all u!! Tbh u can tell with the signs if he aint intrested i no its hard but dont go running an beggin for him to be involved. Let the lowlife be an u move on. Have u got family friends near u? Be strong u can do this . Once ur baby is here an grows up he or she will no u love them deeply and ur always there for them they will love u , 😘 message me anytime for a chat if u want. Big hugs stay strong hun xxxxxx

Hey love, your post has really touched me, I am so so sorry you are going through that! Not sure if you’re religious but I would advise to pray for strength, guidance and protection from this situation. A man that loves you would not put you through this much hurt, you and you’re baby will be just fine, everything happens for a reason , this is just a stage of character building, your boundaries need to go up and remember you’re going to be someone’s superhero. Process your thoughts and feelings and when you’re ready decide how you plan move forward, don’t let anyone dim your light xx

I spoke to a lot of my single mom friends when I was thinking about going for an abortion and they all told they wished someone would have told them to get one. They love their kids, but being a single mother is hard. But then I joined a post abortion group on Facebook. Every single post, where a woman living in regret, wishing they could have kept their baby. I guess either way it’s hard. It took me driving out of state and taking that first abortion pill to realize that that is not what I wanted to do. It just didn’t feel right or sit well in my spirit. But it sounds like you already have your mind made up. So don’t let anyone change that for you. 💕

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