MIL... Visiting for newborn

I’m just going to see how delivery goes first and then how I feel on the day. Won’t be making any set plans for who comes/ when but as long as I’m feeling up for it I won’t have any issues with close relatives coming. Unless absolutely necessary I do think 2 weeks is a long time but that’s just me. It’s down to your personal preference and remember NCT classes only offer guidance. It’s up to you ☺️

We're just going to see how we feel. We have made no plans.
I would always expect to be asked, and that's the behaviour I expect of my friends and family too.
Won't be welcoming visitors who just show up unannounced x

Our friends gave us the same advice. We waited 10 days until we had visitors and honestly those 10 days in the new born bubble as a 3 are some of my most treasured memories! I wish we could do it again but we need help with childcare 🤣 x

Oh btw, both my mum and mil did not like this when we told them our plans but we held our boundary. You only get this time once, do it the way you want and don’t be bullied x

Your baby. Your rules. You need time to heal and bond. The baby isn’t going to remember who visited first or who visited at all. I wouldn’t announce a said rule. Just take it as each day comes. If you feel your MiL is going to be a hindrance rather than help then delay it. But if she is going to come round and help with the cooking and cleaning you may be willing to make more of an adjustment.

I hate it when friends and family make the birth of a new born about themselves rather than the parents and the new born itself

she's lovely but in no way a cooking or cleaning person! I suspect she just wants a cuddle, which I understand but it's interesting she's already sulking about not seeing the baby asap

totally get that it's guidance, but also think it sounds good, I expect to be in hospital for a few days post birth, so home time with baby and husband first will be nice to have.

I don't think she will show up unannounced, just wondering how others set expectations to their parents/parents in law

This is my 2bd pregnancy. In my first I set no boundaries even after I had an emergency c section and I really regretted it. I’d say this one time you should be selfish and not have to worry about anyone else’s feelings. You have earned your quiet time. I’ll certainly be embracing it this time round without guilt.

You do you when you’re good and ready

That's good - cause unannounced visitors would be the last thing you would want x

similar boat my parents have been fine with what we've suggested!

We aren’t telling anyone when we are having him then they can’t complain, we’ve said they’ll be informed he’s here when we are ready and we will inform when ready for visitors too! X

I told our parents and siblings from both sides they can start making plans to visit after 4 weeks. But in our case everyone is far away so that makes things a bit easier because they cannot just drop by, they’d stay with us for a few days

I'd hope to be up for our parents and my sister visiting fairly soon like the next day but it depends on how your feeling you don't need to necessarily set a time period just say you'll contact them when your ready?

We planned to wait two days for parents but after an emergency C-section I waited a day as I wanted my mom and dad with me, then in law's saw little one the next day after being discharged.

We've said to people we will visit when we're ready! X

We are not setting any rules or plans etc, I cannot wait until my mum and brother can meet the baby. My mum has been the biggest supporter me going through losses/IVF and will the best nanna. My MIL is great, she is supportive and I want them to visit soon too. I am having section, so hopefully within a first week, but I know that noone will turn up without an invite and they all will care to check in. Anyone else, like extended family/friends etc will meet baby when we are ready.

Yeah of course, like I said it’s your personal choice at the end of the day so do what you’re comfortable with. This was why I said depends on how delivery etc goes as if you’re expecting to be in the hospital for a few days after then of course whatever time you need before you have people round… You asked how everyone else was dealing with visitors and that’s just my plan ☺️

Keep an open mind! Sometimes you might feel like you need the help and support. The newborn days can be quite exhausting for both yourself and your partner. You might need help with food, cleaning, watching the baby.
My mum came to the hospital straight away and watched over the baby whilst I tried to sleep. My in laws came with balloons to the hospital for a short period of time to see me and meet the baby. Everyone was waiting for us when we came home with the baby to celebrate the new arrival. I went upstairs to bed and my mum watched the baby

good point. Thank you x

We are implementing the 2 week rule, tbh my family all work full time and live 200 miles away so they are unlikely to visit asap but my bf's mum has been told that we want 2 weeks and she is fine with it.

If you MIL is being pushy just make sure that your husband is on board and explicitly say, we will not be inviting you in, so if you travel it will be a wasted journey.

Practicing boundaries now is good.

I feel like immediate family (my parents, sister and his parents and sister) can see the baby asap as I know they’re gonna be super excited! It’ll probably be nice to have some support too, And then everyone else I’ll just play by ear and see how I feel at the time!

Do what works for you and put your foot down. When I had my little girl my MIL wanted to come round quite often and this time round I’ve said no visitors after they have met baby in hospital for the first few weeks as I need the time and want to enjoy the baby bubble xx