Toddler won’t sleep without me in the room!

We went through this with my son. It started just after Xmas and lasted about 3 months. It was horrendous and I too was pregnant. In the end, we put a mattress in his bedroom next to his cot so that if one of us (usually me) ended up sleeping a significant proportion of the night in his room, at least it wasn’t on the floor. The nighttime wakes did eventually stop and we’ve finally got to the point in the last few weeks where we don’t have to stay in his room till he’s asleep and can exit quickly at bedtime. I really hope the end is in sight for you if it’s been going on awhile. I don’t have any suggestions other than riding it out and putting a mattress in his room if you can.

We had a rough patch at preschool and it really affected my littley’s nighttime sleep and he becomes so upset if I don’t stay in with him to fall asleep and the last couple of months he also wakes in the night and won’t settle until I’m back with him. I’m also early pregnancy so completely understand how you’re feeling.

I’m hoping that being consistent with telling him he’s safe, that I’m in the next room, etc will help… soon! Before he goes to bed, I also tell him that when he’s asleep, I’ll come in to check on him and leave him a teddy so he knows I’ve been in. That sometimes helps!

I’m also sleeping on a mattress in our sons room. My husband tried a few times but it ended in both of them barely getting any sleep so it’s only me that can be in there 🙈 it is exhausting but at some point I’ll be allowed to move back to my bed… I hope!!

We’re just getting to the end of this. Had to start sleep training from the beginning again, and we’re almost out the other side again. X

how did you go about this if you don’t mind me asking?

I read the baby sleep solution book.
First I would let my LG know that we were going to do a bedtime differently that night. First we started by removing touch so no handholding while sleeping and I would sit by her bed. I’m wait until she fell asleep. Then, when she was happy with that and fell asleep without holding my hand, which is something she’s done for a long time, I then moved to the middle of the room. Each time I change the routine I would warn her that that was what was going to happen that night and as expected she would be a little bit upset and asked me to come and sit next to her but we stuck with it. And not engage in loads of conversation because I have a very chatty two year year-old I would just repeat it sleepy time Jamila instead of answering her 100 questions. Then when we were in a good place with that and then moved to the door. Then I moved to the doorway with the door open and so she could see me. Then outside the door with the door ajar so she could hear

… but not seen me. I then would close the door and sit behind it so if I needed to speak to her, she knew I was there. And finally the door I’m going downstairs. It
It took a long time the first time round when we did this training as she was so dependent on us being in the room and holding her hand then when she regressed and was getting really upset about bedtime, I started the training from sitting next to her bed not holding hands and we moved a lot quicker through the steps just a couple of days on each step . Previously we had spent a week or more on each step from progressing to the next one until she was fully comfortable with each step before moving on. Hope that makes some kind of sense. The book is really good and I recommend it but we took all the steps much slower than suggested as I felt. I knew that she wasn’t quite ready after a couple of days. She needed a little bit more time on each stage. X

The Baby Sleep Solution: The stay-and-support method to help your baby sleep through the night https://amzn.eu/d/05RXgdqG

It has gone from screaming hysterically and totally freaking out taking hours for her to calm down enough to sleep, to now being able to go back to where we were before and say good night and leaving the room in just three weeks.
We spent a couple months before sleep training. I think it’s better to go at their pace. You know your child, so if you do decide to sleep train this way, don’t rush it, trust your gut. X

this sounds good but what do you do if they wake in the night hysterical as this is what happens with my LG if she sleeps in her own room

I go and sit by her bed to calm her down.
But she started settling herself after we were saying good night at the door.

is your little one awake or is it night terrors? My LG had a night terror once, it was awful. You’re meant to not touch them if it’s a night terror, just be near by to make sure they’re safe. X

no she's had night terrors before but she's fully awake. She says she's scared because mummy isn't there 😭

You still with her while she falls asleep?

yes at the moment. She's not ready for me to leave yet x

our night wakings stopped when we were able to say good night at the door and she fell asleep on her own. Then when/if she did wake in the night, she wasn’t surprised and upset we weren’t there. When she was falling asleep with us still in the room, when she woke in the night, she’d expect to see us and be upset we weren’t there. So as you progress with the sleep training, it should get better. I would also explain to her that although we’re not in the room, we are always in the house with her. I’m always listening and watching to keep her safe, x

Then we also have a Tommee tippee sleep bear. So when she wakes up in the night she knows it’s still night time. And I have it set to wake up at 6.30, and she knows that when the bear is awake, she can call for us to let us know it’s morning. Made it like a little job for her, she’s basically our alarm clock haha.
Best of luck