I'm not sure what's going on anymore. My little girl just turned 3mo and she's just perfect. Everything was going great, but about a month ago I just felt wrong.
I have bipolar disorder and anxiety. I've been on medication for years, but I went off of it for the pregnancy. I immediately started going back on them, gradually increasing to my usually dosage, as soon as baby was born. But it feels like I'm progressively getting worse instead of better?
I work 3 part time jobs. I work at a library, I tutor, and I house/dog sit overnight at people's houses. It's really gotten to be a lot lately. My partner doesn't have work until the school year starts again so he's taken over all household and baby duties, as I've barely been home.
I've just been so tired and stressed out. My mental health has been declining, depression and anxiety. Even though my medication is just about up to normal.
I have no thoughts of harming my baby. But with the stress, mood swings, and dark thoughts, my partner and I have been considering a 72 hour hold to make sure I'm actually safe enough to be home.
Correctly the main thing keeping me from going is that I have clients booked for the entire next month and I don't have 3 days to spare. I know I love my daughter but I lost all the enjoyment I had during her first 2 months. I feel like there's nothing there.
I don't know what I'm asking here, I just feel lost and confused. Any advice would be really great, but I guess this is just a vent for now? TIA
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Sending you love, I know I was really scared to go to the hospital but it was the best decision