Teen socialization skills…
I truly need help, my son is almost 14 and he comes off sooo rude. He is the sweetest child you’d ever meet. He’s always been polite. But he’s shy. And has absolutely no conversation skills. I’m not a big people person so I get it but even talking to me if I ask a question it’s just a flat “yeah” “no” “idk” he lacks any common sense known to this world. If it’s not video games he doesn’t care to learn or hear about it. My father in law whom we’ve never met since he lives super far away came to town a few weeks ago and he was trying to have a conversation and get to know his grandson and the whole time my son would just give him one word answers. I’m just over it. It comes off as rude. I understand being shy, I also have that same personality but he shows NO emotion. We went to the waterpark the other day and he was just walking around looking like a serial killer trying to find his next victim. He always looks like something is wrong but if I ask him he says “nothing” I say “why do you look sad or mad?” He will say “I’m not” his friends eventually showed up and there was 3 of them. He said hi to them then just awkwardly stood behind them while they all conversed. I just don’t understand. He’s not into sports, we’ve tried. He likes video games and when he’s playing video games he’s a totally normal kid yelling and having a good time. Then he turns them off and has no emotion and is mute…
Please help me. Books I can read to help him. Or books he can read? This is his last year of middle school. He’s getting older and needs social skills for the real world..
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Also to add this is not his normal. As a young child he was always super goofy and loved making others laugh. Shy yes. It would take time for him to warm up to you but then he would play around. Then as he’s hit puberty it’s like he doesn’t want to or know how to talk to anyone. Idk how he is at school obviously since I’m not there with him. He does have a few friends. But as he’s gotten older is only getting worse. And soon he will be old enough to work and it’s like he can’t even socialize…
Following because my daughter is the exact same way.
Is he getting bullied at school? He may feel comfortable with his online world because they can't really hurt him emotionally nor physically. Also telling him that he is being rude, might have put him off talking. He could be afraid he would say something wrong.
When I was a kid, I was very social and outgoing. Then as I started getting bullied in school, I became depressed and withdrawn, from basically all people. As an adult, I have found out that I might have autism. I told my Dr I have a hard time making friends because I'm abrupt and come off as rude. As we get older, we start censoring what we say and stop talking as much so that way A. We won't get bullied B. Not be taken the wrong way.
Social skills are skills so they can always be developed and improved. Some people aren't good at small talk or public speaking. And there are people who are "social" who are nasty and rude because they don't know how to control their tongue. Or think before they speak. Everyone isn't talkative and that's okay. Since you mentioned serial killers, the first thing people thought of Ted Bundy was that he was charming, witty and had a way of words.
Some books you can buy to improve his social skills are:
- How To Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie
- How To Talk To Anyone by Leil L.
Toastmasters International is an organization that helps people develop social and leadership skills. They have clubs for young people called Gavel Clubs
no he’s not being bullied to my knowledge. I know he did a few years ago and told me about it. And I’ve never voiced that it’s rude to not talk. I just think it’s rude. I usually just ask if he’s ok since he just shows no emotion and always looks like he’s miserable.
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