How long do your toddler's tantrums/meltdowns last?

I think this is a complexe topic that needs a book. Have you read any? One I liked that partially talked about tantrums was Parenting Right from the Start by Vanessa Lapointe. It helped me understand the why of the tantrums, not just the cause. I’m not a pro, but right now my 23mo is also going through the same big emotions but cannot find the words to express herself yet, so sometimes she uses tantrums. I understand that they are normal so I am patient, but I get it’s hard when it happens daily and lasts hours. I noticed for mine a trigger was the word « no ». So I use other methods.
Can I have a juice? Yes, later when we go out.
I want to read more books. Ok we read one more and then it’s bed time.
It won’t work right away, but I was consistent and two months later she understood and now we have very few tantrums and they last less than 5 min.
good luck mama

Thanks mama, this is really helpful! Did your toddler have longer tantrums before?

There was a period when she had tantrums more frequently but not longer… but nothing toooo unusual for her age.

It also helps to talk on their level (kneel down), with a softer and more understanding voice. It doesn’t work asking « why » they’re mad or why they did this or that. It’ll upset them more that you don’t get it.