Venting and an advice is welcome
On Tuesday I found out my husband was cheating on me. The women he was screwing with came to our home 3 times since Sunday, Sunday we weren’t there. Monday we missed her for a few minutes and Tuesday we missed her too. She will be coming to my building and ask for us (just giving our last name) so the doorman knew something was weird and he took pictures of her. I was so innocent I showed those pics to my husband I said I never ever saw her in my life and he didn’t say anything and then he told me everything. According to him this ended months ago. But I am so hurt because this happened before we got engaged, during our engagement, before and after we got married and the worst thing during my pregnancy and this is what it hurts me the most because I thought we were good. We seemed really happy and were sexually active as well. At some point during my pregnancy not anymore but I understood.
This women is married and with 2 kids. She was coming to see me and to let me know that she was with my husband in a “relationship” and to “be careful” because what he did to her he will do to me… she didn’t make sense. Today I found out she is married with 2 kids… like how can you come to me to tell me that…
My husband is devastated cannot be sorry enough. I never saw him crying like this, apologizing. I don’t have any family here so after he told me that I left to my in laws. They are very nice. I haven’t say anything and won’t do either. It’s up to him to tell the news. But I feel sick to my stomach. I am numb. I cried a little once so far. I can’t even cry, I don’t feel like crying. I have anger, resentment, I feel disgusted. I don’t know what to feel or do.
And before we got engaged we were having some issues but I never thought it was cheating. We had issues but because he is not too communicative. We did some therapy. That was kind of our ongoing issue everything we had a fight. I had him in a pedestal.
I wish he never proposed. Like why did you do that if you were already f…g another person? He said I am the love of his life… that he will do anything I want for me to forgive him… and that he was so stupid, doesn’t even know why he did it… and it was like a “midlife crisis”
It’s sad I feel numb and that I don’t feel sad. I don’t know how to explain it but this is something I can’t let it go. I need to make the right choice. I feel that if I stay I will be miserable and he will to and this is not good for the baby because I will bring it up all the time.
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My fiancée and I were in something similar. I forgave him and WE did everything to better our relationship we both did ONGOING individual and couples therapy that will continue for one more year. Since that problem, it’s been almost 2 years and he would never in his life do anything like that again. The therapist has helped him to forgive himself as well because we were at a point where I forgave him but he didn’t forgive himself so he use to sneak through my phone thinking I was doing things because what he did in the past was still on his mind. It hurts yes!! But if you guys wanted to work through it, it takes time, forgiveness for yourself and each other and dedication because there’s going to be hard days. But then after a year of hard core dedication, you’ll see it be 100xs better.
I’m so so sorry that happened !!! You did not deserve that
First of all the audacity of that woman to be coming by ur house. And then saying u should be careful like she was there before you. I’m so sorry you’re going through this it must be devastating fr
I am sorry this happened to you too but I am glad you worked out. Your comment gives me a little hope.
But I just don’t know if I will be able to let it go. I feel I will be bring it up all the time and we are all going to be miserable. I told him that and he said I don’t care if I am miserable I want to be with you…
the fact that she is married with 2 kids. She said she didn’t know he was married and when she found out she ended up things. That’s her version. My husband has a different one.. however, she said so you see who your husband is. Like look at yourself. You were cheating at your husband regardless if you knew or not mine was married!!! Cold face. Like look your self at the mirror first
My advice is get some space, distance yourself a little bit and see how you feel after a couple weeks go by before really making any life changing decisions yet. Time is all you need to figure shit out you don’t need to rush these answers and if you do you’ll always be questioning if you did the right thing so just take some time first the answer will come after.
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