Being told that I complain about motherhood too much
My partner told me that I talk about how hard motherhood is for me too much. That I take every opportunity to tell people how I struggle. I do talk about the hardships of motherhood often, that’s true. I also mention the good stuff but I am being honest if someone asks me how I find it. And the truth is that I find it harder than I expected . I also had postpartum depression that wasn’t even acknowledged for a long time. I feel like I am only decompressing all those emotions now after leaving trenches of early postpartum and my baby is 10 months old. It’s really weighting on me, and gives me also a massive mother’s guilt that I am not enjoying it as much as I wish I would, and that I had such a hard time with it so far, especially living away from my family. And now being told that I complain too much it feels like a slap in a face.
Did any of you dealt with that? Should I shut up about the hardship of my experience? Or do I do the right thing by being honest about it and not hiding the hard bits?
The views expressed in community are solely the opinions of participants, and do not reflect those of Peanut.
Learn more about our guidelines.
Do not shut up about it. Whilst yes it’s great, we love our babies - It is the hardest thing in the world. I don’t think anything compares to how difficult becoming a mum actually is. I also wish more women were honest about how hard it can be as I quite literally had the shock of my life. Only after talking to other women about things I was finding really difficult did they say they had experienced it too but up until that point, I had noooooo idea about half the things I’d struggle with now.
You’re doing amazing x
Tell him to grow a baby for 9 months, birth it, nurture and care and feed it whilst your body is physically recovering and your emotions are all over the place whilst trying to also look after a house and come to terms with the fact your life will never be the same again.... oh wait he can't 🙄🤣 you're doing the right thing by being honest with yourself and others, if you bottled up or hid how you're truly feeling it would effect your mental health even more and also impact your relationship with your baby and your partner. My LG is 18 months old and she's a little firecracker, I'm physically and mentally exhausted trying to keep up with her but I love her to bits. I'm lucky I have a very supportive mum and auntie and friends to sound off
I had a somewhat similar situation. At about 10months post partum I’ve finally awknowleged my feelings. I was so low and i felt that my relationship with partner was crumbling, i felt so alone and depressed. I ended up getting cognitive behaviour therapy where i got to see someone and talk about how i am feeling and what self help tools i can use to help me get through it. She gave me various tips on how to manage stress and anxiety and made me realise that i am being really hard on myself and ive been putting a lot on my shoulders.Ive learned to take time for myself for self care and make an effort to do things that make me happy, as well as managing my anger and overstimulation better and while awknowledging the hardships, i have also learnt to awknowledge the wins that make me a good mom.
Think of it as a phase that you have to get through just as you did through the toughest days so far. Be kind and patient with yourself, soon things will get better xx
Download the Peanut App
