Gifts from grandparents

It was my son's first birthday this week and he is a very lucky little boy who got lots of lovely presents. My husband has a big family and we were asked by them to make a birthday list for our son so that people wouldn't get repeats or unwanted things.
My MIL and FIL alway go OTT with presents and while I'm grateful and my son enjoys his gifts, I am so overwhelmed and stressed out by the sheer amount of stuff that she's brought him (I have ADHD and anxiety and this is something that just sets off overwhelm for me). Just from her he's been given 3 large toot toot sets, extra toot toot cars, a water table, building blocks, a xylophone, a scuttle bug, some clothes, photo frame and a vtech toy cup that sings (🤷🏻‍♀️). In comparison my parents, my aunt and my brother between them all got a wooden shape sorter, a few board books and some megablocks, which we are very happy with. Our house is overflowing with toys and I just feel like my son doesn't need them all and can't possibly play with everything, if it's overwhelming for me surely it must be for him. I don't really want him to grow up having quite so much stuff.
I probably sound like an ungrateful cow. I don't know how to raise this with them, especially with Xmas coming up too, without sounding horrible and upsetting them. I know it only comes from a place of love and wanting the best for their grandson

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If you feel up to it get some big storage tubs and separate the toys. Put them in the loft/garage/wherever you have space and then give him 1 tub of toys to play with at a time, that way you can rotate them throughout the year so you and he aren’t overwhelmed and he gets that added bonus of feeling excited to play with his “new” toys. I’d then start curating a gift list of experience days for him such as a trip to the zoo or aquarium, perhaps some swimming lessons etc if people really want to go down the toy route you could ask for a subscription to whirli for a few months which is a toy subscription service that will let you send back the toys and swap them out as you want xxx

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I completely understand you. My son is only 2 and while he doesn’t go without, at his birthdays and Christmas we don’t buy a lot of toys at all because there is simply no need. Last year we all went to his aunts and her kids had like a million presents and he was so overwhelmed with all the stuff and cried the full time. I think you’re right to not want to give him all the things and don’t sound ungrateful at all. They learn far better concentration and imagination skills with only a few things out. My boy can literally sit for ages with his magnetic letters or a colouring book. Like above you can rotate toys (that’s what we do), or you can contact local charities who will be looking for donations for kids Christmas like women’s aid. We did that at my sons first Christmas instead of buying him lots of things that he didn’t need and we got a lovely thank you note that I’ve kept in his memory box for when he’s a bit older xx

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I have a rule for my daughter’s grandparents on both sides - any toys they buy her, stays at their house. Only clothes and shoes can come home with us. Clog your house up not mine! 🤣

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Could always try implying a new tradition and explain due to the large amount of toys he already has you're using the 4 gift rule. Meaning 4 gifts max that follow the rule. Something to play with. Something to read. Something he can wear and something he needs. We used it with my daughter when she was small and too many gifts overwhelmed her and took her days to open. X

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this is an excellent idea. I also like the experience days idea much more valuable!!

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Am I just fucked?

I need a new car. I purchased my current honda civic in 2024 after my car was totaled in an accident. Seemingly there was nothing wrong with it. I went alone to the dealership because my dad lived out of state and my bf wasn’t available anyways. Couple months down the road, the cars sensors start going berserk. We got it checked at the honda dealership and with our own family known mechanic and no problems came up. It was just wack. Fast forward to know, the car has about 155k miles. We bought it at 125k, I know STUPID CHOICE. Here’s why i’m ultra fucked though. I’ve been a SAHM for the last year, my baby is 7 months old. I’m starting a part time job next month but literally at 10 hours a week. That’s the most I can do as I do not want to put my baby in daycare and do not have any family that can watch him for an extenuous amount of time everyday.

Besides the fact that the honda civic is kind of uncomfortable to fit the huge car seat, the stroller snd stroller seat attachment. which i don’t wanna have to repurchase and buy a smaller one. The car is SHIT. The car runs weird right off the bat anyone will say that when they drive. The engine light is on. There must be a hole or something in the AC unit because the AC is broke and everytime we put the AC gas in it it ends up leaking within 1-2 weeks. AC gas is kinda expensive to be refilling it that often. My dad doesn’t think I should put any money into this car to fix it. We still owe about 3k. We want to trade it in however my parents think that I should get a NEW car since this used car gave us such bad faith. Mind you, when I got it and for a couple months after, none of these problems were there :/ I drove from NJ to BOSTON a few months after getting it and the emergency sensors went off and the car was shaking bad and i had to pull over. Never found out what that was about.

I have 5k to put down. BTW, my parents are heavily involved because i’m 24 and I live with them (me and my bf) in hopes to move out when we have the funds for that. I don’t wanna ask my BF for any money. I know he’ll just throw it back in my face down the line during an argument because he thinks a paycheck is the extent of his contribution as a partner and father. Whole other story. My parents can’t afford to throw any money at a new car. My dad thinks I should get a new car that’s relatively recent like 2023+. Not for the aesthetic but because he thinks insurance rates might be better for a newer vehicle. They want me to ask my BF to contribute since it would be a family car for us. That he would also be able to ride around in when he’s not driving to work in his own car. I dont wanna downgrade to just 1 car because he goes into work incredibly early and I dont wanna have to wake my baby up at 4am and take him to drop his dad off. I also just need my own car because Im starting a part time job soon. I could just use my part time dollars to pay it off but what if I’m stuck with a car note in the event anything happened with this job? My bf and his family suggested we buy a car from enterprise because it’d always gone well.. however i told him there’s a lot of risk in buying a RENTAL CAR. and he said there’s also a lot of risk in buying a used car from a dealership. He said you’re NOT getting a new car. a new car to me isn’t about the aesthetics, it’s about the security that we wont have the same issue we’ve had with the used car i bought in 2024 which was seemingly great when we first got it.

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