My baby doesn’t smile at me in public…should i be worried?

I’m a first time mum and my LO is 4 months on Friday. At home he smiles at me all the time but when we’re out he just doesn’t smile at me. He’s a super chill baby and will go to anyone. He’s comfortable with other people and doesn’t appear fazed if I’m around or not. Well that’s what i think anyway.

I guess I’m just feeling a bit rubbish because I’m with him all day by myself (my partner gets home from work at 8pm): going for walks, singing, playing, EBF, constantly giving him my attention to the point where i feel guilty checking my phone because I’m the only person with him (he’s having a nap right now as I’m typing this).

I don’t know if i should be worried or not?

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This was me at the weekend after my baby laughed her arse off at various family members and would barely chuckle at me 😅 I think they're just reacting to new stimuli and when they're in environments like that they see us as more of a calming influence than a fun one!

My son is the same, my daughter was too. Clearly see enough of me at home and not arsed for me out and about 🤣 I'm not bothered they've got lots to take in so it's nothing personal x

this is such a good way to look at it. Sadly, i don’t have family who tell me I’m ever doing a good job so i think i just over think sometimes.

🤣 my boy is a nosy one, so maybe he’s just enjoying the new faces.

Same! I think he just feels comfortable and safe with me and is more engaged by other stranger faces! We also find when my partner and I are both there, normally our boy will only look and smile at the person who is NOT holding him and ignores the person who is!

@Incognito sorry to hear that, it''s so easy to go down that hole! I'm the same anytime I need to whip my phone out when baby is awake but think it's just that first time mum over anxiousness 🩷 in time I'm sure we'll feel more confident in ourselves and how we're parenting! If baby is super chill and will go to anyone they probably feel super secure and don't have to worry about you not coming back xx

in our community

Am I being unreasonable for wanting my partner to hold our 1 month old with both hands?

Basically, what it says. I have a lot of anxiety about the baby being dropped. It's not that I think my husband is incapable, weak or too inexperienced. I've told him this, that babies can randomly wriggle out of your arms at any moment. I've been trying to work on this anxiety to not project, so I don't say anything while we're at home. When we're out and about, I get very anxious because instead of putting the baby in the carrier, he sometimes carries her with one arm and pushes the pram with the other hand. I try to say "two hands on the baby, let me push the pram", but he insists it's fine.

I feel like an uneven street slab, something slippery, someone bumping into you, the baby wriggling in an unexpected way, any of this could happen to anyone. I don't want to be annoying but I don't see why he won't just either leave her in the pram or put her in the carrier. He said doing things just to soothe my anxiety doesn't help anyone, and while I agree with that, I think it's a valid concern while we're out and about.

I think it's possible I've got some serious postpartum anxiety going on too, which obviously isn't his fault. I am already seeing a therapist because of PTSD and anxiety, so I'm waiting for my appointment to talk about this. I'm just wondering what your take on this is.

What do you think?

Parenting…

If your husband was happy to do bath & bedtime every night after work and also spend the most time with your kid/kids at the weekends to give you a break… how would you feel about it?

Feeling judged and deflated, and a bit annoyed. Do I need to chill out?

I have a 10m old baby, friends with about 4 or 5 other women who have babies similar ages. Also, my sister has a 3YO. All their babies don’t have problems sleeping, eating etc.

My boy is HIIIGH input, all or nothing baby. He’s never slept well, he has zero interest in food, screams crying being in the car and has to be entertained at every second otherwise he cries.

Whenever I’m at family events (like today), I feel like everyone is judging me because of this. They’re constantly trying to feed my son, as though he’s going to start eating and I feel they think that it’s my fault he is the way he is? My sister kept making comments about how she’d do it and making comments ‘a second time mum would make to a first time mum’, but she’s a FT mum and as far as I’m concerned, we have the exact same experience raising a baby up to 10 months old. When her child was same age, he was soooo chilled out, our experiences are not the same at all, she wasnt surviving off minimal sleep, nor are the others trying to step in.

No one makes direct comments to me, but it’s always comments with maybe I’m taking the wrong way.

Try this, try that. Yes. I have. Leave me alone.

Paying grandparents

I'm about to start back at work, and the grandparents are going to be having baby ad hoc. I will be working 3 days a week, and dad works different rota hours each week. He'll have her when he's available - so they'll be having her ad hoc days.

Question is: how much did you pay grandparents for looking after your little one as a daily rate?

They don't want money but I'd feel more comfortable giving a small amount to help pay for things when she's in their care etc.

Rate my 20 month old eating today 😭

Half a wheatabix
Strawberries
Oat bar
Half an apple
Small madeira cake because apple fell in sand i.e. hysterics
3 breadsticks
Bites of ham
Refused veg + noodles.
Milk before nap (this is rare)
One handful noodles
4 prawn crackers 😫
Orange slice
2.5 wheatabix as out of porridge.
Milk before sleep

My parents are both well off I just had to call them and remind them it’s my son’s 5th birthday in 5 days and to let me know if they need help picking something out.

They didn’t even remember. They have 2 grandkids. I suggested a new bike that’s $100 and they said oh no that’s a little much for a 5 year old. I would 100% understand if they didn’t have money or even if they just put other effort in like making the day special another way (with their presence even). But I just think it’s awful.