Feeling judged and deflated, and a bit annoyed. Do I need to chill out?
I have a 10m old baby, friends with about 4 or 5 other women who have babies similar ages. Also, my sister has a 3YO. All their babies don’t have problems sleeping, eating etc.
My boy is HIIIGH input, all or nothing baby. He’s never slept well, he has zero interest in food, screams crying being in the car and has to be entertained at every second otherwise he cries.
Whenever I’m at family events (like today), I feel like everyone is judging me because of this. They’re constantly trying to feed my son, as though he’s going to start eating and I feel they think that it’s my fault he is the way he is? My sister kept making comments about how she’d do it and making comments ‘a second time mum would make to a first time mum’, but she’s a FT mum and as far as I’m concerned, we have the exact same experience raising a baby up to 10 months old. When her child was same age, he was soooo chilled out, our experiences are not the same at all, she wasnt surviving off minimal sleep, nor are the others trying to step in.
No one makes direct comments to me, but it’s always comments with maybe I’m taking the wrong way.
Try this, try that. Yes. I have. Leave me alone.
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Unsolicited advice is the worst! I had a non sleeper and felt this way often. He didn't sleep until almost 5 (end of first year at school).
In the end I had to just ignore all comments and unsolicited advice because it didn't apply to me. Acceptance was the only way to get through it.
I would say, some may be clumsily trying to help and don't go about it the right way, and so do accept any actual help to give you a break I wish I'd done this more if I was to redo it all again with a terrrrrrible sleeper.
They just don't get it. Why would they, they assume their child is normal and don't know any better but you do. You're not wrong to feel this way or to have this perspective, it can be so lonely Xxxx
Keira knightly talked about her non sleeper and I felt seen. Check it out and maybe send this to those making you feel bad! X
No your feeling are 100% valid. It’s soo easy for people to sit there and say their opinion and give unsolicited advice but you know your baby 👶🏼
Advise that isn't asked for is criticism imo so I'd be mad too. All babies are different, some are chilled and some are super high maintenence. My sisters first is so laid back he practically horizontal, her 2nd?? Total diva, won't be put down, won't be ignored, won't be consoled any other way than what she demands. Have you called people out at all? I sometimes find being flat with people works best (although I appreciate sometimes its too exhausting to argue!)
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