Feeling like I’m failing my kids..

I’m a stay at home mom to my beautiful girls and my husband has been our only income for 3 years now. I struggle really badly with depression since I was a teen so over 15 years with it. And with that comes the trauma from which the depression stems from (childhood abuse). lately with it being Christmas anf my sisters loving my kids and buying them anything and everything but as a mom I feel like a failure.. I feel bad because we are on a tight income and I can’t buy them everything they ask for.. and honestly it makes me feel even worse when we’re out and I say I can’t afford something at the moment but they buy it (it’s not a bad thing, I love that my girls will never go without) but it hurts inside with me knowing I couldn’t do that for them.. or I couldn’t get the out lunch that day and they really wanted it.. I’ve contemplated getting a part time job but the only people semi available to watch my girls are people I can’t trust 110% to not hurt my daughters the way I was growing up.. ( my sisters both work full time plus some) and I don’t know what to do to stop feeling like I’m a failure and how I feel like I’m failing my kids.. I’m struggling heavily today and really needed to get this off my chest..

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Sending you love btw.

It can definitely feel like failure when we arent able to provide toys/fun for our kids.
It's important to remember that you are providing a stable home with everything they need: food, clothes, love, attention, understanding, etc.

Your depression is just being a rude little guy (I also have depression and anxiety) and trying to convince you that you aren't doing enough, but you are! You even said that you dont want to get a part time job because the people available to watch them cannot be trusted 110%. You're keeping them loved and safe! ❤️

is it an at home thing? I am open to options but just don’t want to have to depend on others

I appreciate this words more than you think 🥺😭 i get so much shit from my family about being a mom with mental health issues and it’s so nice to hear it not be used against me 🥹

I fully understand!

I felt like a huge failure yesterday as I got absolutely nothing done around the house, didnt cook dinner, etc. And the stuff I did try, did not go well, tried to hang some shelves (ended up with 2 holes in the wall from the anchors and no shelves), I broke out kitchen scissors LOL, and I barely ate (but my daughter had 3 meals)

And then I had to change my perspective because my daughter is a little under the weather and has been VERY clingy. So my day was spent being a comfort to her and making sure she was well taken care of and its okay for other things to be on the backburner for a minute when our babies need us so much!

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Post partum dad

I have a 2 month old. A few weeks ago my husband crashed out because he didn't feel like he was getting to bond with her. I started exclusively breastfeeding around that time and honestly didnt see the big deal. Baby and I left for a few days and when we got back home, everything was fine. He was extremely hands-on. He helped with my meals, her bedtime, bath, stories.....for a few weeks it was great. Then he randomly sounds depressed af. He says our lo is better off without him, he wants to sleep all day , he asks me not to watch tv then tried playing a video game. He refused to reply to me when i asked any follow-up questions. Then he woke up our baby trying to race me to the bathroom first thing in the morning . He's doing a weird mix of crying, trying, and giving up. Im starting to feel like I cant handle him not being able to handle life with baby and just want to be alone. Are there resources for men?

Is it bad of me to think this or no?

My husband has been abroad for work (1 day and exploring for 1 day) for 2 and a half days which means I’ve had both kids (1 year and 4 year old) for 2 and a half days plus cooking, cleaning, taking them to clubs, bedtimes!
He came home late afternoon and said I’m so tired, I just need to chill. I said can you wash up whilst I sort kids dinner out, he said he’ll do it later which means he won’t do it and I’ll end up doing it so I said no do it now please otherwise I’ll end up doing it and he said well you have been home and I’ve been away so you’ve just been relaxing.
Don’t know what planet he is on but having the kids alone for 2.5 days is not relaxing. I was stressed!

When he was away, I did miss him and wanted him to come back but now he’s back, I want him to go away again😂
Is that bad?

My 2 year old won’t eat nothing but snacks

Is this normal ? He won’t even try anything I eat .. he really only like pizza fries and spaghetti… nuggets and snacks bananas some other fruit but like anything else he won’t eat if try but I don’t want to force him I’m just I feel like bad I mean he isn’t losing weight I breastfeed mostly still

Really bothered by this

A friend posted this and it really bothers me because that is exactly how she parents her kid, and it's rather unfortunate because when our kids hang out together, her kid has a meltdown at least 5x within an hour. We have know them for years and it's only gotten worse. My kids will concede to hers, because they don't want to see their friend crying, but it sucks because they give up so much of their toys and enjoyment to keep the peace. We aren't hanging out as much anymore but it's rather sad to think she doesn't intervene more in her child tantrums and just let's it slide

Shift worker daddies - advice please?

My husband works shifts (6am-6pm days or 6pm-6am nights) so when he’s on shift we either get about an hour or 2 before he goes to work or an hour or 2 when we gets home with him.

I don’t think people who aren’t married/have babies with shift workers fully understand the impact of feeling like a solo parent sometimes.

Does anyone have any advice? I do have parents who can help but I struggle to leave my baby with others as I always feel like they don’t understand the need for tracking wake windows or feeds and our baby will not sleep unless we black out a room or go for a car drive . Everyone seems to think ‘if he’s tired he’ll drop off’ - no he’ll just get overtired and have to then pay for it during his night sleep. So I feel like it’s just easier for me to do it all myself.

When my husbands off work he is great but I do take the mental load of telling him what to do or even reminding him of wake windows etc because he’s not here and forgets routines. He’s also being tested for ADHD currently so there’s that on top of shift work.

Just looking for advice on how to stay sane/keep routines or share loads with shifts workers?

Thank you ❤️

Feeding

My son is coming up to five months and I just started giving him oatmeal and rice cereal. When can you start trying veggies or fruits? I only give him the oatmeal or rice cereal once a day right now which is what the paediatrician had said to do. I’m just curious to when anybody tried anything else with their kids cause my son eats a lot of formula and he’s VERY curious when I eat.