Just a rant. My son is 2

What is considered by them as disciplining too aggressively?

Whats considered to aggressive to them ?

No screen time, no toys, no comfort, just sit, when he is screaming no and trying to hit me i give him two licks on the hands and be like not nice. we dont hit mommy in a very mean voice that my husband does not like. im not yelling but like you can tell im upset. or like flick his mouth because he does spit. He thinks during time out he should have toys or at least watch tv when he is in trouble. which i dont think is right.

I dont think a child should have luxery during time outs either. Spanking him on the butt would probably be a better option rather then slapping the hands or flicking the mouth. But thats just my thoughts. Maybe even try time out. I know it can be stressful when finding punishments for a two yr old as they do not understand. I sit my 2.5 yr old in his crib or bed and close the door if spanking him on butt does not work.

So you’re trying to teach him not to hit by hitting him? Think about it, that makes NO sense.

Also any sort of spanking not only teaches a child that violence can be acceptable when it should not be, but research from Harvard shows:

“We know that spanking is not effective and can be harmful for children’s development and increases the chance of mental health issues. With these new findings, we also know it can have potential impact on brain development, changing biology, and leading to lasting consequences.”

https://www.gse.harvard.edu/ideas/usable-knowledge/21/04/effect-spanking-brain

Yeah. I did the whole
positive language thing and constant repetition but he literally laughs at me and thinks im playing when im not. Im not spanking him how my parents did. omg that trauma but like enough to get the point across. I always ensure the punishment matches the behavior and check myself to make sure I am not over reacting. psychology and sociology both contributed to a persons growth. not all one sided. yes there is merit to the study. not denying.

Learn by talking doesnt seem to work. Its like ok. you do me this way understand how it feels. if you dont like it then dont do to others. He doesnt like it when i play with his ears. but he plays with mine and i dont like it. eventually he understood dont touch moms ears.

Yes but he is a toddler. He’s basically a baby. His brain is not fully developed to understand rationale.
You are responding to hitting with hurting your child. That is a confusing message to him.

each toddler is different. in this case my son does understand others very well. especially for a 2 year old.

Ok, justify your violent behaviour. It’s a form of child abuse that has been proven is ineffective and can have long term repercussions on the child, and I’m glad your husband doesn’t agree with it.

I’m sorry but as much as I like to read into this research it’s not always true. In some cases it’s true when it comes to spanking - however, myself as an example, I was spanked as a child and it didn’t affect my development at all and there are many others in my shoes too. It can affect some children in how it’s done. I.e this type of situation as to where the mother is flicking the mouth etc.

If you’re not fond of someone’s parenting styles then I’d advise to move on. Spanking is not a form of abuse at all, it’s been around a lot longer than you and I.

Something being around for a long time doesn’t justify it. There’s lots of things we find horrible that have been around a long time. It takes a long time to change society’s bad habits, but they must change for the well being of future generations.

Abby, is it? You are more than entitled to your own opinion and I won’t judge you for that because that’s now who I have been raised to be. However, I won’t belittle parenting habits as long as they’re within bounds. A mere spanking doesn’t create trauma. It’s HOW you do it and the intensity of it. The intensity of that spanking then becomes beating which is classified as abuse. Now if a child is aggressive and throwing things at you as well as their weight i.e hands etc and you give them a tap, not a hit, a tap on their hand there is nothing wrong nor traumatic about this. The trauma sets in when parents are OTT, I.e smacking so hard they’re leaving imprints etc.

Parenting isn’t textbook, it’s what works for you. As long as your child is happy, developing and obtaining manners etc then there’s no issue. Again though fine lines between spanking and beatings.

Well you don’t want to feel like giving up. As parents we need to acknowledge there’s always need for us to grow and improve ourselves as parents. With that, if you feel like those around you just don’t take you seriously and don’t respect your parenting to a point where you’re questioning yourself, you could discuss this with a therapist or a behavior specialist. I mean first you want to check yourself and see if there’s any merit to their claims, but a therapist/behavior specialist are third party people who are on your side and want only your own and your kids improvement. This can also be validating for you when you are questioning your parenting that you have someone in your corner and someone able to provide you with tools/skills to use.

Toddlers and kids do what they see and are taught. They are the direct result of their environment (unless they are born with a mental/physical disability that effects how they act).

If a dog bites anyone, especially a CHILD, consider rehousing the dog