Why is my husband so against me breastfeeding

I can’t wrap my head around it ?
To give some context unfortunately my daughter and I did pick up “bad habits” like breastfeeding to sleep “ and settling her with breast-feeding when she would get upset. It’s taken a while but she now naps once a day and goes to bed at night with out any breastfeeding at all, and has done now since she was 17 months.
Shes naped with out breastfeeding since she was about 10 months.
all night time feeding stoped when she was 10 months with the odd occasional breastfeed if she woke up at like 4/5 am and she would feed then go back sleep sometimes she would take a bottle so it wasn’t always and this only went on for a few weeks.

Now I’m down to 1 feed a day and he’s so short and snappy about it. Just asked me “ did you feed her today ?” And I said yes and he asked when so I answered at about 11am and he said why are you feeding her when you can give her a snack ( the snacks he gives her are processed rubbish and in my opinion breastmilk would be better than some maze based crisp snacks I give her are fruit mostly) he then said why am I feeding her she doesn’t need it and she’d had her breakfast. ( her breakfast was at 8:30am

I explained that she was asking for it and he said well you should walk away

I then explained that usually I do distract her but today she was getting very upset and so I thought with the time not being near a meal or a nap it was okay as he has told me not to feed her before or after a nap which I don’t do and I don’t breastfeed her in the afternoon really unless she’s like really kicking off and won’t “leave me alone “ as in just keeps trying to get to the boob.

He just huffs and puffs and is so horrible about it and its always after he sees his mother

What am I missing why is he so anti it?

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Oh that would rile me right up, sorry you have to deal with that. I would point out to him (and his mother) that the WHO and NHS actually recommend you continue to breastfeed until 2 and beyond.
There are SO many benefits for them, mainly nutrition but also immunity and comfort. Also, extended breastfeeding may help lower the risk of breast cancer, ovarian cancer, high blood pressure, and Type 2 diabetes for you!
Why wouldn't you carry on with so many benefits. Continue to do you, your doing what's best for you and your daughter. Your doing amazing 👏

Sorry but what an asshole. The most natural thing in the world and he makes you feel bad about it.
Probably he was formula fed, that generation of mothers was told formula is better than breast milk, they were the ones putting baby cereal in the bottle too. She can't wrap her head around you BF and keeps telling him and he's not man enough to tell her it's none of her business.

So sorry you have to go through it, you're doing amazing.

Btw, feeding to sleep is the easiest way to get them to sleep, it drives me crazy of someone calls it bad habit. It's freaking nature!

I get something similar, even though not to the same extent, and I do still feed her a lot more than that... From what I gather it's just the backwards mentality that the baby needs to grow out of it, once he told me she is walking and talking now, so she shouldn't need the boob anymore. He also said it gets very embarrassing when we are with his family and she asks about it, apparently everyone looks at each other awkwardly...

Ask him why he does things he likes.... because it gives comfort
Tell him her needs and wants in this come before his and its not for negotiation
She will stop when she's ready NOT him

If you want to go one step further you could stop him touching you in the bedroom saying he should have grown out of that by now 😜😉😂

Tell him to shut up it’s biologically normal, 7 was the average age to stop when they lost their milk teeth (hence the name), if YOU and your child are fine to continue then do so. Maybe each time he says something remind him of the benefits you AND your child receive!

Oh god this makes me so angry and I don’t even know him 😩 first of all they’re not bad habits, it’s completely natural and an amazing thing you’re doing for your little one! Is he jealous or something? It’s so strange x

Thanks everyone I don’t feel so alone now and we actually just had another argument about it and he said it’s ruining our relationship 🤦🏻‍♀️

in our community

Wdy think of this for a toddler to learn word construction?

I'm open to anything else to start teaching him to read and write. He's 3!

Do men really enjoy fellatio?

Been together more than 10 years, but it's been a while since he even seemed remotely interested in me getting on my knees, or vice versa so to speak. I think it was once last year. Must be something I am doing wrong 🤔. Generally everything else in that department is great and we have two young kids with no extra support, so it's quite surprising we can't keep our hands off each other but may need to try new things. It's basically 2 positions each time with some foreplay.

I think Motherhood has made me more bitter than I realized…

This is such a ramble but I don’t know where else to put it all.

I’m four months in and I don’t really have hobbies right now. I don’t do anything for myself except maybe doomscrolling or listening to a podcast while I breastfeed my baby. I used to craft and have game nights with friends. Activities that usually are at least 2 hour stretches. Now if I have an hour free my mind immediately goes to baby, or doing something in the house for baby.

And I thought I didn’t mind. Like I knew postpartum could be very mentally consuming. But I think it’s altering how I view people around me and it’s prodding at my relationship with my husband.

He spends most of his time making food for us, looking after our dogs, playing with the baby, ect. But he still has time for his hobby. Spends maybe an hour a night on it. Even adapted to using a bot for shopping for his hobby after a certain incident where we had to have a heart to heart after he left me home alone with the baby for hours during a busy workday (I work from home) to shop for his hobby.

And yet there’s like this little green eyed monster in me that rages every time I know he’s running off to start up the bot. Even though I’m the reason he does it this way.

We took a family trip last weekend to see his best friend and their kids and let them meet the baby. He brought the laptop. He’s always brought a laptop on trips and it’s never been a problem to me before. But one night we both woke up while the baby was still asleep, and he wandered out of the room. I tried to fall back asleep but couldn’t. So I went to the kitchen to try having something warm to drink to settle me. And he was there at the table running the bot from his laptop. I flipped out at him. But there really wasn’t reason to. It’s not like I needed help with the baby and he was ignoring me. He wasn’t avoiding our friends. He was just awake and unable to sleep and found something to do with his time. Yet my snap reaction was “why the hell would you do this on a family trip?”

I don’t know what it is. Maybe it’s the less complete sleep from baby’s middle of the night feed? My brain being just consumed by baby? Maybe I’m not as over that shopping incident as I thought? But I’m just so annoyed at his hobby right now. The green eyed monster thinks “you could be using that time differently” but realistically to do what exactly??? Stare at our baby in the dark???

I spent probably an hour apologizing to him after I snapped. And he’s of course hurt and frustrated because I said some very mean things in the moment.

I don’t want to be this jealous, angry person. But I also don’t know how to find time for myself in this right now outside of basic hygiene. It’s like I’ve forgotten how to be myself, even if just for an hour.

Maybe I need a therapist.

Naps

How is everyone doing for naps?

Little one is 9 months old and will have 2 half hour naps and one solid 1 hour - 2 hour nap a day

Then settles for night around 9pm. Wakes for a feed around 3:30 then sleeps until 6-7

Vanilla extract

Has anyone used alcohol free vanilla in their babies formal to help them drink?
I’m 100% sure my baby refuses her bottles as she doesn’t like the taste of it!

Just anxious to try it, don’t want her to get used to it and then refuse bottles again after two weeks of using (correct me if I’m wrong but I’ve read you use it for 2 weeks max)

TIA 🙂

Pumping advise

FTM to a 2 week old! I’m breastfeeding and then giving one formula bottle last in the evening before bed. I want to start expressing milk to give me some breathing room and also allow my partner to be more involved in feeding. I’m finding the idea of introducing pumping into my day quite overwhelming though. I don’t want to take milk away from my baby by pumping if he needs it during the day when being breastfeed.

Can anyone advise how I start pumping and when to do it? Thank you!