If you have a clingy/shy child

I think nursery has made a big difference with ours, we left her for the first time overnight last weekend, with my MIL and it went really well. I don't think that would have been possible if she hadn't started nursery in September. The biggest thing that helps is people respecting her boundaries though. The amount of times I've said to people they're better off saying hi then basically ignoring her then waiting for her to approach them, and they still swoop in and try to tickle her toes or whatever is ridiculous! And she doesn't forget quickly! It's like everyone thinks they are a magic baby whisperer and it won't apply to them 😂 the people who have listened to my advice are the people that she has slowly learned to trust. She loves my MIL now and my sister, because they have both been really patient and let her do her thing.

Have you been present when she was living with that grandmother? I would be a bit suspicious why she wouldn’t want to interact or be held with her?

Yes, I’ve never left her alone with her. But she’s like that at my mums too. She was happy being around my sister no issues and lately she’s not happy with her either but our last visit, she was slowly getting comfy with her again. I think her dads mum who we live with does things that annoy her like trying to be playful when my girl isn’t interested but I thought she would be ok with her now

My little girl is pretty shy/lacks confidence. When we go to soft play etc she will be wanting to go round, but not without me. I’ve noticed she tends to get a lot more confident with other children she knows. She will follow them and want to play, and yesterday was happy to leave me for the first time in soft play to climb the stairs and go down the big slide a few times!

She has definitely become more confident recently, and I now leave her with my mil for a few hours every week. It look a while to build up this relationship, but I think sometimes it’s easier when the parent isn’t around. She doesn’t go to nursery or childminders yet, but I’m looking at going back to work and using one and hoping it might make somewhat of a difference to her confidence!

She’s actually gotten clingier since she’s discovered she has a choice in things, we’ve always lived with my parents so she’s very close with them but rarely lets them hold or cuddle her, and with people she hardly knows she wants nothing to do with them. Honestly I think some people just don’t vibe (at all or straight away) and that’s okay, as adults we’re not expected to click with everyone! Maybe her play style doesn’t quite match your daughter or her personality it different than what she’s used to? She’s only little and it hasn’t been long I wouldn’t worry, there’s plenty of time for the familiarity to build and for them to get to know each other :)