Hi
So my son is 21 months old. and people think I have coddled him like a lot. I don't let me do anything dangerous to him or anyone else.. but I am there at his beck and call. He wants to be held, he will be held. He doesn't ever play independently. I am always there at least in the room. I cook and clean only when he is sleeping or his dad is available.
I don't give him screentime unless he is sick. I would like to start but my husband opposes...
My question is, does it get better? Will he ever get independent? Will I be able to leave the room for more than 5 mins?
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Yes girl. He will feel so safe to be independent bc his momma was so attentive and always there š©· you are doing a great job

My son didnāt really like independent play until a little past 2. I would try to encourage him to but it just kinda came when he was ready. My daughter on the other hand has always been good and entertaining herself and she is only 15 months. Each kid is different. Before we know it they will be teenagers and on their own.

You do really need to be teaching him to play independently at this age really.

You arenāt coddling him you are loving him⦠like your kid is a baby⦠babies need love and attention⦠itās how you build a secure attachment with your kid⦠donāt rush your baby to being independent cuz it comes sooner than you know! š

I think I should too.. but I can't stand him crying... So suggest me how?

@Tanmayee you can stay in the room with him while he's playing. Just try and get him to play on his own while you do something else.

I second this, also I had a Velcro baby and she prefers her Dad now. And she can play on her own. Enrolling her in a toddler dance class helped encourage her independence.

I understand..
I am just worried I am not doing more harm or setting myself up for super separation anxiety.
Also I want to have some me time by this point...
I see ppl with independent kids, who had let their babies cry when they were little.. and now their life is much easier .. the baby is so independent.
I just want to know will I be able to get that?

I think you should do whatās best for you and your child. I am always there for my child except when Iām cooking or taking care of his brother. He does play more independently bc heās had to. But sometimes he clings to me and I give hugs and cuddle if possible. If not I explain, Iām helping your brother go potty (or whatever I need to finish). When weāre done Iāll cuddle.
If you want him to play more independently you can do play dates so they can see how other kids play. Or model how you play with new toys and he can imitate. But honestly my son is the same age and he really has a lot of fun playing with me and I love it too. Soon theyāll be in school or independent so thereās no rush!

Give him time he will get there. My little one was super clingy until 2 years old. Some thing about turning 2 really increases the desire for independence.

that is so reaffirming ā¤ļø

Independence is not necessarily related to crying. It honestly amazes me how much more independent my second has been and I do not let my kids cry unless I have no other choice. I have always cleaned while my kids are awake and they either play independently or sit with me and 'help'. For my oldest that meant a lot of time helping mom for the first two years of his life. He loves to clean now, and he is very independent while still having a secure attachment to me.

First of all youāre not coddling him youāre being a good mom. Yes it does get better, I did the same things with my daughter and she is now two and incredibly independent. Some kids develop imagination later on (mine was one of them) so they donāt want to play alone because they need you to facilitate the imagination portion.
Also do not let your child cry it out itās cruel and unnecessary. Thereās nothing āto doā to make your child more independent, they will just do it in their own time.

Every child is different and will learn different skills in their own time. This blog post has some helpful tips š«¶š½ https://blog.lovevery.com/child-development/how-to-encourage-independent-play/#:~:text=It%20may%20seem%20counterintuitive%2C%20but,Start%20the%20play%20with%20them.

Also @babiesandbrains on IG is a mental health professional who posts about secure attachment often

Nope youāre creating a secure attachment, responding to babies and toddlers leads to independence as they then feel safe enough to explore alone, I know what you mean as this age I find tricky as my lo will come get me hold my hand and ask me To sit and play if Iām
Cooking I ask her to join in in her toddler tower or I say mammy is cooking if you want to play with your stickers etc to try encourage a little independent play

Girl just take it for someone who has a teenage daughter I'm here to tell you enjoy those cuddles and all the love that you can get when they're little girl because it goes by quick once they get to my daughter's age they don't care about cuddling their mama no more they don't care about none of that it starts getting all about the electronics all about boys all about fashion all about the next Trend enjoy all those cuddles and love while you can get it because you're going to miss it one dayā”