Just tell me it will be ok

Hey I'm just a mil spouse but I do have the stressful job too. I earn more money than my husband, and he was gone my entire pregnancy, will be gone lots of this year and deploying again next year. It's getting to the point that his career is preventing us from reaching life milestones. I feel angry I worked so hard in my life to have someone else's career take precedent, after all the deployments I've already endured. The years of every 3rd weekend him being away. Moving countries. Etc etc etc.

It needs to be because we want to live free and believe in fighting for freedom. Once that idea is gone I feel there's not much reason for it.

Sorry I wish I was more positive but I feel sick facing it too.

Ugh I hate the "well this is what you signed up for" line. Like, fuck all the way off with that. Solo parenting is hard as fuck! And being military means you're likely stationed somewhere with little to no family support.
End rant. On to things that might be helpful.

Do you have family that can come in to support you and the kids while hubby is deployed? Even if it's just some of the time and have different family rotate in so you don't feel like you're drowning.
My best advice for doing it solo is to lower the bar then lower it some more. Are the kids fed, bathed, and in clean (ish) clothes? Congratulations, you're doing great! Let the laundry pile up until someone is out of things to wear. Let the dishes pile up until you can't find the kitchen sink. Let the toys stay all over the floor (as long as there is still a path to get through)
It's hard as fuck, but you've got this. You don't have a choice to to have it. It's ok to cry. It's ok to not be perfect. All you have to do is survive the deployment

thank you so much! This is exactly what I needed to hear. My mom can come out a couple times but we’re in Alaska lol so it’s hard for anyone to get here

@Kayla When my husband did his first deployment, it was 6 months long. My girls were 1 and 3.5. I asked for no visitors for the first month so I could find my footing then I had family cycle through every few weeks to give me a break.

Ugh mom I’m so sorry you’re feeling like this 💔🩷 I hate when they say this is what we signed up for , it doesn’t make it any easier 😔 take each day by day and don’t be hard on yourself through this period. If you’re able to find childcare that your babies love, I can guarantee that will lessen the stress a little bit. I would look into options like state funded childcare programs outside of the military because sometimes those waitlists are a little shorter than military ones. It’s hard, but as a prek teacher and parent , I promise there are great teachers (childcare) out there that will love on your babies and take a little stress off of your plate while still meeting your children’s needs. Having a good support system or at least someone you can talk to through it will help too, I’m not dual military but I understand and if you want to talk I’m here ! I know I’m a stranger but 🩷 … I wish I had more advice but I wanted to let you know your feelings are valid and heard!

Thank you everyone for your responses.. all of them were what I needed to hear 🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻

A heart surgeon goes thru extensive schooling and training. It’s long, and expensive. They work their ass off in order to save lives. But if you saw one crying in the hallway after losing a patient you wouldn’t crouch down, pat them on the back and say “you signed up for this” I mean damn. There’s pros and cons to everything. And it’s ok to be upset about the cons, even if it’s something you love. I hope things work out for you. It won’t be easy. But we do what we can for our kids. Reach out to people for help. Because you might not need it everyday. But you will need a break every now and again. Maybe see if family can plan a trip up to see you during that time.

I’m sorry you have to go through this. Having gone through a deployment with an infant wasn’t easy. I’m praying for your strength as you go through it with two. Please be kind to yourself. One thing I found to be helpful was to find a babysitting company I liked and could depend on. I didn’t use them often but it was a resource I could utilize. I also had cleaners to help once a month. It wasn’t even for a luxury but as a survival method. Sending you Love.