Ask to take baby to wedding?

If you’re not going to be able to let her day be about her then just don’t go. Our baby will be a few months when we attend a past bridesmaid’s wedding and if it seems like too much we’ll just have family babysit.

Are you close to this person? I would think that you are of you've been invited all day? Then I'd speak to her about your concerns and see what she says. X

I would never ask this. Bad wedding guest etiquette but if the invitation doesn’t specify “no children” and you’re super close to the bride, go for it.

I wouldn't ask to bring the baby, as if she was OK with that she would have said. I went to my brothers wedding last year when my baby was 3 months old, and my fiance stayed home with our baby. It was a lovely day and I enjoyed it with my other 2 kids

I voted ask to bring.

My son was 5 months for my friends interstate wedding, and I asked when I found out.

If she had said no, I would have respected that decision, but she said yes and was very excited.

He was really good at her wedding, didn't make noise, and he slept for half her reception.

He was a hit with a few guests and even danced with the bride.

Doesn't hurt to ask 😊

Personally i wouldn't go.

, bringing your baby doesn't make the day about you. Weird logic.

Anyone who can read can clearly see that’s not what I said. Get some rest.

Can your husband be nearby so you can jump out to feed if needed? My friend had her husband stay in the same hotel as the wedding for the day and she just left every now and then (discreetly) to feed but mostly they were fine, then joined for the evening. I wouldn’t bring the baby if babies aren’t invited to the ceremony, and I doubt she’d say yes. There will be other parents there who might not have thought to ask, and see you there with a baby. She says yes to you she has to say yes to everyone.

This would have been a perfect solution! Unfortunately the wedding is a marquee-in-a-field type vibe with onsite accommodation for wedding party/family only. We’ve booked accom in nearest town (15 mins away) and husband was going to try and catch up with family who live nearby during the day.

My cousin is getting married next year and I hope to EBF t2nd baby too. I just asked if children were invited (they are not) so have found alternative arrangements for the babies! I wouldn't expect her to change plans for her big day to suit me

I would just ask her! If she says no, she says no and that’s your answer. No harm in asking and bringing your baby in no way makes anything about you 🙄

I don't understand why you shouldn't ask, it doesn't hurt to ask, assuming you are ok if she says no. She maybe didn't think about it. If she really wants you to be present, she might want to make it easy for you.
3 months old would usually sleep most of the day and if your husband is there too, he can help.
Only come in the evening otherwise, if you are ok to miss the ceremony.
As you are planning on breastfeed, it will be hard to leave your baby, even for half a day, even if you pump and provide milk, you just don't know how your baby will be. Most babies like to nurse for comfort too. You will feel bad knowing your baby might cry for you while you are at the wedding. It could also be ok without you for few hours, it's just hard to predict. Bottle feed would be easier to manage.

Other option is to not go, that would avoid stressing about it. You also don't know how postpartum will hit you.

@Jennifer, you said, "If you're not going to be able to let her day be about her..." as a response to her asking about bringing her baby to a wedding.

Please explain to me what you meant then?

The condescension and rudeness are unnecessary.

We’ve been invited to one when baby is 3 months but it said adults only so we already declined. Since it said adults only I didn’t want to ask lol. But in your case I think I would probably just go for the evening with hubby and baby. Otherwise why didn’t she invite all 3 of you for the full day? I might feel a bit awkward asking if I could bring them for the full day.

I don’t get couples who don’t allow ‘babes in arms’ at weddings however at the end of the day it’s their choice. I’d say you’ll attend the evening w/husband for as long as you can manage, they may turn around and say baby is welcome in the day or they may accept evening only. I personally wouldn’t ask to bring baby as it might just make things awkward. If they don’t have kids they won’t get it and you won’t be able to make them get it either.

I think it depends on the relationship you have with the couple getting married. I got married last week and stipulated a kid free wedding (excluding close family) but since planning two of my close friends have had babies, both asked if they could bring babies but tbh I had just assumed they would bring them anyways with being so young. It made no difference to me and my guests them being there as they were so young. I would reach out and explain your position, if they say no then just go the evening? I didn’t mind them asking at all, that’s just my perspective but I don’t think anyone would expect you to leave your baby all day whilst so young xx

From a 2022 bride put in this position, I felt pressured to say yes from family and said children ended up screeching during our vows and speeches. I would personally stick to what the invite says and just go in the evening so that you’ve got hubby on hand to help just in case 💖

Just ask! My friend gets married in the spring and I will bring my five month old for the day (getting ready together, etc) if she still won’t take a bottle. It doesn’t make it about baby, she just acknowledges that post partum mamas and babies require flexibility. Grateful for a thoughtful friend!

Maybe decline but in a way that poses the question about the baby, if that makes sense.

'I would love to come all day but due to needing to have the baby with me I will only be able to be there with him/ her so won't be able to come to the ceremony alone.'

Then it opens the option up for your friend to say bring the baby ??

I would just have a conversation with her. Say you’d love to be there for the day but you don’t know how things will be when the baby is here and you’re concerned about feeding so you’re thinking it’ll be best just to come in the evening. If she doesn’t mind baby being there then she’ll surely say so.
I feel like her specifying that it’s ok for your husband and baby to join in the evening suggests she wouldn’t want baby there in the day but you can only ask. Is it meant to be a child free wedding?

If they have already specified that baby and husband are welcome to join later, to me it seems like they've already politely tried to say no baby in the day? I wouldnt ask personally, but if you aren't comfortable going without baby, go in the evening as a family 😊

I’m going to second this. They went out of their way to tell you WHEN the child is welcome to THEIR big day.
Don’t put them in the uncomfortable situation of telling a new mother “no” in person.
Respectfully, don’t push it.
It’s her big day and she obviously doesn’t want young children present because some (not all) do cry and become disruptive and it takes sway from the moment.

Go as a family later in the evening.

I would speak to the bride and just make it clear that there is no pressure and you were thinking about just coming in the evening because of said reason unless she is happy for you to do otherwise?
This does depend on how close to the bride you are tho

Just see how you go, you are making that decision based on the assumption that you won’t be able to pump, but I’m sure you can pump enough for baby to have 1-2 bottles for the day, have faith. She probably doesn’t want any kids interrupting or disrupting the ceremony which is fair because that’s a whole hour of being quiet, and it’s recorded on camera too. Baby at the reception however is okay as she’s already stated

Ask the bride what she prefers. Give her both options 😊 and then see what feels better for you. I can tell you that a whole day event for a 3 month old might be over-stimulating and she might cry or be a lil disregulated. How about leave baby for an hour or 2 with dad and then all join in the evening together? Are you staying at a hotel or home? How far is the hotel or home?

Don’t worry about the milk yet. See how your milk supply goes, I had a whole freezer side tray full of stash after the first 2 weeks of having baby 😂so plenty of supply. You might want to see how baby likes the bottle / cup feeding. That would be more my thought and depending on that you can see if daddy can stay with baby a bit, so you can have some much appreciated time away from the daily craziness haha believe me, this will be gold 🙈

I agree the invite has already specified that baby and dad are welcome at night so if I was the bride I wouldn’t want to be put in the awkward position of someone asking. I would explain that you’re worried about feeding so you’ll go along at night and if she says baby can go in the day then great and if not then all good together at night

Could ask but still go with your husband in the evening hopefully they will understand and let you bring baby

I find it odd your husband isn’t invited to the day too? Do you other people there? If not I’d just go in the evening

If so, I’d just say to her ‘if I’m EBF, or have difficulties pumping then I might only be able to come to the evening’ and she what her reaction is x

Wait, why can’t your husband go during the day as well?

Ach I think I understand this part - I didn’t invite her fiancé to mine either. No animosity, but we just decided not to invite anyone we hadn’t met. We did allow babes in arms though 😂 I guess you just have to have a cut-off somewhere. Bride is an old uni friend so it’ll be a chance to catch up with some old pals ❤️

I got married in October 2023 and my cousin had their baby in July. Our wedding was no kids, with exceptions for the bridal party. When they asked, I said yes to their baby and they were not breastfeeding their babe.
Other than waving to the baby when I was walking down the aisle, I didn't even realize she was there. She made no noise and didn't fuss at all. I know the concern usually is that they will cry and disrupt the service but you really don't notice anything when you're up there.
If she says no, id politely decline or just miss the service and head there for the party.

I wouldn’t ask to bring the baby. There’s obviously a reason why they don’t want baby there during the ceremony & meal otherwise would’ve invited. It’s their day don’t question it! Either politely decline or get husband to bring your little one later on x

You can breastfeed on demand, you don’t need to pump. Is it just an American where breastfeeding in public is seen inappropriate, even though it’s completely legal over there.
I’ve taken my son to a wedding and he was still breastfeeding then, I just breastfeed him whenever he needs it, and one of those times was during the ceremony. The pros is it keeps them calm and quiet. That’s it. There is no con. No one should be looking at you while you are breastfeeding your own child, all the attention needs to be at the groom and bride, and baby wanting to feed is normal. If you find that inappropriate, you need to look at yourself why that is.

If you don’t want to go, say no, if you want to pump, you can always excuse yourself to somewhere private (that isn’t a bathroom) if you use manual pump. I have actually hand express in public before as well, straight to the bottle, with my hands - no one gave a sh*t, like I’m feeding my baby, plus it was getting too full so need to let them out.

the problem is that the baby isn’t invited until the evening, so I wouldn’t be able to breastfeed on demand during the day 🤷‍♀️

don’t worry, I don’t find the idea of breastfeeding inappropriate 🙄

I would ask but I would also be happy attending the evening because I’ll still be attending they’re special day x

Oh I see, you plan on going without the baby during the day, and then looking to maybe bringing your baby in the evening. Sorry, I’ve seen a lot of posts against baby at weddings, and was a bit triggered (since it could be that your friend, or people at the wedding might find it inappropriate) - I would ask whether you can bring the baby during the day as well since you breastfeed (if you do), otherwise, you can bring the baby and your husband later in the evening, you should be able to step away to pump when you might need with no issues. It’s up to you, and up to the bride and groom as well.

It doesn't hurt to ask. Be prepared for her to decline the request, but she also needs to be understanding that if she declines that you might choose to wait until the evening to attend. I personally wouldn't want to be there all day with a newborn baby for the risk of them getting sick, but also because if you won't have help from your partner, I'd imagine that might also make it less enjoyable for you.

Would she not have suggested you take the baby if she wanted babies there?? (Some people don’t like babies at weddings incase they cry and ‘spoil’ their moment. But if it’s a friend and it won’t be awkward just ask if you want to go and take the baby!! I took my baby to my friends wedding when she was only 6 weeks old she just slept most of the day anyway. Xx

I would rather come later with the baby. 3m post parting you don’t know how things are going, how you feel or how the baby feeds… for me a full day would have been to exhausting, I think.
What is the location set up, can you come and go a few times?

Who cares about the ceremony, we all want the food and alcohol. Go to the fun part. Why should you be forced to leave your baby. They will divorce anyways, your baby is forever lol. Jokes jokes

🤣🙏🏻

I had a friend in a similar situation when we got married. The place we got married had rooms so she booked a room and husband and baby chilled upstairs most of the day and she nipped out to feed/pump in comfort as needed. She was wary about bringing baby down and them being disruptive.

It definitely depends on the bride... i had a friendship end last year because the bride didn't want my one month old baby anywhere near her wedding and I explained I simply couldn't be away from her whilst ebf for 12+ hours. She was offended I had even asked (I was meant to be bridesmaid... we haven't spoken since and this was a year ago!) I think it's fine to ask but be prepared to be told no x

Omg I took my baby to a wedding as they were invited and they cried while saying I do— it was the most embarrassing ever and shocking really, they were kind about it but it was like oh my gosh no..