Honestly don't think I'm prepared for baby #2 to arrive.

My daughter is nearly 18months and there's only a few weeks left until her brother is due. Her behaviour lately is just so challenging. Everything just turns into a tantrum. My head is permanently banging.

Ive read countless stories and advice about how kids feel the most comfortable at home and with their mums so they feel that they can share their true emotions. To a certain extent I do agree but Jesus Christ I feel like I'm on the edge.

I'm told constantly by nursery and my in laws how her behaviour is perfect when she's there and how they've never had any problems. My MIL doesn't even believe me when I say she has tantrums at home because she's never acted like that with her.

I feel like I'm permanently doing something wrong and like she just doesn't enjoy my company. I'm probably feeling sorry for myself due to hormones but I just didn't picture our last few weeks together as a family of 3 to be so challenging.

I just love her so much and just feel like I'm letting her down. All I keep thinking is how on earth are we bringing a newborn into all of this chaos??

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I had my kids not too far apart and when I had my third that's how my second was acting I however have boys I'm aware that their behaviors are kind of different but nonetheless they are children. It could be because she's feeling the emotions and everything and feeling the stress of the new baby coming and she doesn't know how to process it that well being a kid. I am far from a professional I'm just giving my opinion. Have you tried to schedule "her and mommy time" what that is is basically just setting a specific time to where she has you to herself and you guys can play or you can read her a book or just talk or whatever it is she wants to do and just incorporate that if you can into your daily routine so that way she does not feel left out I'm not saying she does I'm just saying sometimes kids can feel that way when they don't really understand the whole situation I'm not good at using my words so if this came out confusing I am so sorry šŸ¤¦šŸ»ā€ā™€ļø

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on a Wednesday it's just me and her. She has my full undivided attention that day. I try my best to make the day as fun as possible. We'll go to the park, go for coffee, occasionally meet up with my mum etc. but I'm also just so tired. I feel like I'm trying my best but it's not enough x

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I honestly could have written this, I’m 36+4, daughter is 22 months and she has really dialled it up, I’m failing on all fronts! To add to the tantrums she is also quite poorly at the moment (and I swear has been every other week for months) and with the coughing and the vomit I’m so anxious. People keep reminding me that the baby will sleep a lot and not be able to move so I should focus on her as much as possible when he is here. They really do keep all the crazy for us, we get all the emotions and it’s so bloody hard but I keep trying to remember however hard the next few months are, they are temporary. Hope you’re ok xx

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yes the illnesses and sicknesses and bugs really do not help either! Me and her dad are just so tired too, it's so hard to put 100% into her when we both feel like combined we're not even at 50%.

I struggle because I want her at home with us so much but at the same time I feel like I'm going mad. She was so sick last week and we had so many nights of poor sleep, I thought I was close to dying. I don't actually know how we got through it. Even when she was a newborn I never remember having that feeling.

She's also only just starting to really get confident on her feet so as soon as she stands up she just runs (a lot faster than me). I keep forgetting now that she can sprint so keep getting the shock of my life when I put her down and turn around and she's behind me šŸ˜‚

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It sounds to me like you're doing the best you can, and honestly that's the best we all can do right now. I'm sure you're doing an amazing job even though it can be over stimulating and very hard and make you want to rip your hair out sometimes.

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A tiny bit of advice which has helped me in times of tantrums…instead of shouting or even saying anything, just grab them and cuddle them 🄹 it’s hard to calm down when you’re all disregulated and even more so for little ones, and the amount of times he’s just stopped whinging when I’ve just grabbed hold of him and we’ve had a big cuddle, rather than shouting back and it’s worked amazingly ā¤ļø I’m trying to break the cycle I had when I was little and this is definitely helping.

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My first was exactly the same at that age. I felt like we got the ā€˜terrible twos’ at more like 18 months-2 years.
Everyone would say how good he was but he was so difficult at home. The first time he properly tantrumed for his childminder I felt so validated because finally someone else was seeing it!

I remember reading at the time about how they do it with their parents but no one else because they feel the safest with you. Like they bottle up all their emotions all day and can finally let go when they are with it. It’s kinda nice to know it’s because they feel safe with you but also still frustrating that it means your time with them is always the most challenging šŸ˜…

All I can say is that it does get better! I did a lot of learning about what works best when they are tantruming, what they respond well too and what just adds fuel to the fire. I feel like I’m a completely different parent now since when it started. And they get better at regulating their emotions too. You’ve got it

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