Teenage help

It is definitely a phase, I was horrible at 14, I think most kids are!

I was not pleasant to be around at 14 years old

I haven’t gotten there as a parent yet myself, but I do recall being 14, and yeah it’s a ~phase~ of sorts.

I was a little shit at 14 try and get her to express her feelings in other ways

this sounds exactly like my daughter. I try to do one on one stuff with her. In fact she and I spend a lot of time alone together. She won’t open up to and she is just mean. Sometimes the old her will peak out and I get excited then she goes back. I pray so hard for her.

i hope so. I don’t remember ever being like this.

“He is so toxic and she’s doing a lot of things he’s doing” - there’s your answer, kids see kids do

yes her dad is so toxic and I try to tell her this without talking negatively about him,

she’s old enough to understand what’s good and bad. If what he’s doing is bad then you need to tell her why. As parents, you need to be able to make the that distinction as well. You can’t make something positive. He is her dad, yes, but you should not go on without saying or doing anything about it. You are enabling the behaviour by not doing something about it. Yes, just because he’s “toxic” doesn’t mean he’s not her dad, but how much of it are influencing you child? If you don’t want her to go down the wrong path then you need to step in and do your part, otherwise you are just as toxic as he is. My partner and I will always call each out for all of our bad habits. We then tell our children why it isn’t good and not something you should copy or take as an example. Children are our own reflections. If he doesn’t want to change, you can make the change. Info I don’t know what that will look like, but you can always start small and work your way through.