Need help

My partner has his first baby momma they haven’t been to court for custody or anything. She put him on child support and he is paying it monthly. Every time we schedule to have him come stay she never follows through. It has been 2 months since he has last seen his kid. I don’t know what to do she is messing him up mentally. The past two weekends we were supposed to get him but every time she was supposed to drop him she said something came up or doesn’t answer the phone. I don’t know what to do or how to help him I have full custody of my son but I got it before moving to California. Even though she gets child support works and get food stamps she still ask him for money and when we have it we give it to her. I don’t know what to do and neither does he. Can someone please help us out. Before this last time we hadn’t seen him for two months then before that it was almost 6 months. He has told me in confidence he ask to come see his dad but his mom says he’s busy or that she will act like he didn’t ask. I hate to see him like this and I can’t take the stress I am about due. If anyone has advice please help us out!

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The only thing I can really suggest is when she does that u guys should take that leap instead and go get his son…some babymommas are bitter af and if she is on calworks and like said above then she really isn’t showing shit girl she just not wanting to drive their son to see his dad and that is beyond messed up

At some pint I would say take it to court and ask for visitation she has to comply by that or if that is not enough ask for 50/50 custody that way it’s on paper that the mother has to let him see his son the dad sounds like he wants to see his son but mom is making it hard for him

We’ve legit taken bus and uber to go get him and she still wouldn’t let us take him

Speak with a family law attorney at Legal Aid ASAP. If he tries to take his son back and something bad happens in the heat of the moment, it’ll be a lot worse for him long term. He’s got parental rights, a lawyer could give him the best advice for how to exercise them.

We are looking for a good one that is within our budget

Completely understand, family law attorneys are expensive! Fortunately Legal Aid is free, and what’s nice about them is they should be able to help give referrals to other pro bono or low-bono services even if they can’t take his case directly (or at least, that was how my law firm operated in DC).

As long as he pays child support he has legal right to see his child. He needs to take her to court for visitation

He doesn’t want visitation that admits he doesn’t do anything for his kid at all he was joint physical custody. Which gives him the right to have a say if she moves or what school he goes to or anything like that.

No visitation is he wants to see his child. And since he pays support she can’t keep him from seeing the child. Also seeing the child lowers the support order. I’m in Cali are you elsewhere and laws are different?

we are in California as well. We are trying to figure out how to lower it because she’s straight up told us she gets all the benefits but work and he’s paying out the butt for child support

also half the time we call to
Talk to him he’s at his auntys or with his uncle she not even with him. But she won’t let him call anyone else but her to be able to talk to his son.

Yeah you have the same laws as me then. Take her to court and since she wants all communication through her get a mediator. He has to tell her he know she has rights many moms think since they birth the kid it’s all them. Dad has 100% with the child too

I did dm you for more advice sorry

in our community

Family culture difference on money

Sorry this is long, I hope some of you get to the end and give advice!!!

So I’m a very thrifty person, things are tight at the moment, the cost of living crisis and my house is heated by oil so things are extortionate. We aren’t on the bread line but we aren’t flush, hubby might be made redundant so there is some financial pressure.

Sometimes I buy my sons something nicer, on the justification that I can sell it on after (♥️ vinted ♥️). I have also been planning on pretty much breaking even most of the baby things I bought from face book market place, side by crib, baby changing unit, etc.

Hubby and I have different money cultures with our families (he’s Indian, I’m British). I’m my family we don’t mix money, we would help each other out if someone was in trouble and will get each other gifts on special occasions. With hubby’s family money is much more fluid, they will give each other things worth thousands of £ just because.

Hubby’s brother bought him a new laptop and a new Google phone, he’s been very generous to hubby. Hubby hasn’t given the same back because brother is much richer.

Hubby and I mostly share finances. If it’s relevant I’m the higher earner.

Now to the point! My babies are so cute they’ve given hubby’s brother (currently single) baby rabies. He’s asked for our baby stuff when we’re done with it. He’s been so generous to hubby I feel really stingy saying no. But I’d never have bought some of the stuff if I wasn’t going to get a return on it - the thought makes me a bit anxious. If we gave all our baby stuff given the second hand value it still wouldn’t equal what the brother had given hubby.

I thought maybe I could give him some stuff but sell some stuff, but hubby said then his brother will just have to go out and buy that stuff, so I should name my price and ask his brother for the money. That makes me feel very uncomfortable, given how generous the brother has been to hubby.

So what do I do ladies? Give it all and suck it up? Give part of it and sell parts on Vinted/FB, or ask hubbys brother for money for it and be uncomfortable? Or do you see another solution?

No one is being entitled or rude here, just a culture difference I need to navigate.

My relationship is failing I feel so alone.. I need a girlfriend to talk to :(

I'm a sahm and I feel so stuck... anyone going through the same thing? I could really use someone to relate to and talk through this with. Feeling so vulnerable but if I don't I won't be able to pull myself out of this

Going back to work!

Already thinking about this! Told my boss I was pregnant this week at 10 weeks, he was so happy for me. He’s recently became a first time Dad and was showing me pictures of his baby. I told him my plans about going back after 6 months and he looked at me like I was mad, am I!? I absolutely love my job and cannot imagine giving it up, I manage a team and am petrified my position won’t be there if I had a year off. My husband gets 6 months full pay so the plan would be for him to have the last 6 months off and I also made it clear to my boss that I would like to go part time. That way we can hopefully parent together 4/7 days rather than just the weekend! I am such an overthinking! 🤣 but this is what I’m struggling with the most, I’ve worked full time since I was 17 (12 years ago) and the max time I’ve had off in one go is 2 weeks when I got married. I’m sooo excited to be a Mum and we decided now was the right time, which it 100% is! But I feel so on edge about not working! I’m sure once I’m on maternity leave I won’t even think about work! Has anyone else felt the same?

Go to dinner ideas

Looking for recipes you use in your family that are not the traditional lasagna, shepards pie, ect

What are we giving our soon-to-be 3yo for their birthdays?

We have the magnetiles, we have the kinetic sand and play doh, we have the play kitchen…

Literally, is there anything left in the world to buy this spoilt kid? 😅

Baby groups?

Hello there!!
I hope you enjoying the 5month babies 🫠 the cuteness outweighs everything over here.
We live in the area of Croydon & need to start going to baby groups ( I NEED it more than him though) but I am a little bit clueless. Any recommendations?
We are happy to travel a bit too.
Thanks ☺️