MIL coming to stay for 3 weeks…

So baby is due mid May and MIL is coming over from my partners home country to stay with us from the start of July for 3 weeks. Lovely. I get on with her, though there is a bit of a language barrier it’s normally fine. I’m just a bit worried that 3 weeks with her will be very full on with a newborn. She is staying in our house, which is financially the only option. Normally when she comes she occupies herself during the day while I work but I imagine as I’ll be off with the baby that I’ll feel obliged to spend all our time with her.

I don’t know what I’m trying to get at other than venting my frustrations but I guess I’m looking for tips on how not to get annoyed that she’s there!?

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By then you should have a sort of rhythm / routine and just make sure you have a place to retreat to when you / baby need quiet feeding time or nap etc.
Be prepared to be assertive with what you are doing.
I had some issues with my husband’s family after my son was born. I live in Germany and there are definitely cultural differences that I’d never considered. Suddenly they had opinions on everything (some were totally wrong / outdated) & it was incredibly annoying & I felt very undermined. Be prepared to stand your ground in a firm polite way. Where is she from? Just be glad she’ll go away again after the 3 weeks 😁

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Think of possible situations that could be difficult. Discuss these with your partner and define some rules together which he will have to explain to his mom.

I told my husband that I don't want any visitors from abroad for the first 2 months (June and July) because we are unsure if the baby will arrive on time and how we will be feeling afterwards.
I want him to focus on the baby and not be distracted by his family.

When my husband's family comes to stay with us, he will be responsible for taking care of them. If I need my space (for example to breastfeed), I will go to the bedroom and nobody will be allowed to follow me. He must make sure that everyone respects this. The smokers will not be allowed to hold the baby.
These are some examples of the things we've talked about. Do it now, agree on the rules, so you are prepared. It will be hard to discuss these things when you are already in that situation.

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Family culture difference on money

Sorry this is long, I hope some of you get to the end and give advice!!!

So I’m a very thrifty person, things are tight at the moment, the cost of living crisis and my house is heated by oil so things are extortionate. We aren’t on the bread line but we aren’t flush, hubby might be made redundant so there is some financial pressure.

Sometimes I buy my sons something nicer, on the justification that I can sell it on after (♥️ vinted ♥️). I have also been planning on pretty much breaking even most of the baby things I bought from face book market place, side by crib, baby changing unit, etc.

Hubby and I have different money cultures with our families (he’s Indian, I’m British). I’m my family we don’t mix money, we would help each other out if someone was in trouble and will get each other gifts on special occasions. With hubby’s family money is much more fluid, they will give each other things worth thousands of £ just because.

Hubby’s brother bought him a new laptop and a new Google phone, he’s been very generous to hubby. Hubby hasn’t given the same back because brother is much richer.

Hubby and I mostly share finances. If it’s relevant I’m the higher earner.

Now to the point! My babies are so cute they’ve given hubby’s brother (currently single) baby rabies. He’s asked for our baby stuff when we’re done with it. He’s been so generous to hubby I feel really stingy saying no. But I’d never have bought some of the stuff if I wasn’t going to get a return on it - the thought makes me a bit anxious. If we gave all our baby stuff given the second hand value it still wouldn’t equal what the brother had given hubby.


I thought maybe I could give him some stuff but sell some stuff, but hubby said then his brother will just have to go out and buy that stuff, so I should name my price and ask his brother for the money. That makes me feel very uncomfortable, given how generous the brother has been to hubby.

So what do I do ladies? Give it all and suck it up? Give part of it and sell parts on Vinted/FB, or ask hubbys brother for money for it and be uncomfortable? Or do you see another solution?

No one is being entitled or rude here, just a culture difference I need to navigate.

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