How to keep going

I think I can relate to how you are feeling. On my first round of IVF I had a failed transfer of my only embryo.

It was shattering, and the fact that I wasn’t pregnant and wanted to be took over my thoughts completely. I had a similar aversion to other people’s babies/ pregnancies etc.

The best advice I received at the time was not to beat myself up about feeling awful. You feel terrible because it is, and that’s OK. You have to be kind to yourself and sort of embrace the fact that it’s emotionally so so hard. I found that took the pressure off a bit, which helped me feel a bit better, and made me realise how strong I was for doing this. That realisation then brought me renewed inner strength.

Also remember you’re not alone, even though I know how isolating it can feel. I don’t know if that helps, but sending you all my best wishes x

I am in the same boat message me I am always here for a rant/chat. It's been a long road for us as we had the same as you so totally understand how you feel
X

Does your clinic offer counselling? If so, I’d really advise trying it. I’ve always taken up the counselling and it helped me through our first four failed transfers.
IVF is such a tough process and it has taken me to some dark moments. If you feel able to confide in friends/family then do try, having support is so important.
Finding distractions is what always helped me, long walks, getting outside, booking some trips and days out to keep life going on around treatment.
I’m sorry you’re finding it tough. All your feelings are completely valid and understandable. X

Thank you all for taking the time to reply. I’m currently trying to source counselling. There is a waiting list with the clinic. We went self funded with the NHS.

I’m 39 and I feel like I’d be flogging a dead horse even attempting any more IVF. Xx

I was 38 when our 5th transfer worked. I know I felt like time was slipping away, but late 30s is a common age in IVF. I’ve just had our 6th transfer this week to try for our 2nd and I’m pushing 40. We’ve got this!! X

how many full IVF Cycles have you had? I only ever end up with one embryos so have to start all over again every time . Low AMH sucks!

I did two egg collections, we we’re very lucky to have a fair few blastocysts each time? Though I know that isn’t everyone’s experience.

I’m in a similar boat - 5 collections, 4 transfers, pushing 40 and no more ivf for us. Everyone around us is getting pregnant. I went for counselling and was just reassured my feelings are valid 😞

sorry to hear that. I am looking into counselling too so that I can manage my emotions better and hopefully move on from IVF.

Really feeling this at the moment after our latest IVF failed to result in any embryos to transfer. Drained is the word. I don’t have any tips unfortunately but here if you want to chat/rant about the hell that is going through this.
When people are saying low AMH what numbers are we talking?

I’m so sorry to hear about your latest IVF round. It’s such a horrible feeling. It’s so hard to explain to people who aren’t going through it.
Please feel free to message me anytime as it can be so lonely.
My AMH is 4.9pmol, AFC 5 but nearly 40 so time is not on my side

My AMH is even lower at the grand old age of 34 😭 we've been through 2 egg collections and 3 transfers and still hoping for a miracle with another egg collection. Feeling emotionally and physically drained and that life is unfair 😥

they’ve always told me to focus on quality and said quality is worse after 35 so I’m buggered!

I know it’s hard but try to focus on the positives of making it to transfer and creating embryos. That’s what I try to tell myself. I know many people with low AMH don’t even make embryos and even worse, not collecting any eggs.

It is so incredibly hard. And I get feeling that life is unfair as it is! I don’t think people can understand if they’ve not been through it and even then I’m not sure partners really get it to the same extent!
We did everything to try to improve egg quality as like you say if you haven’t got the numbers then quality will be everything but this time that still didn’t make the difference for us. I think my partner thought I’d be feeling better now as we’ve decided we will find the money to try again but that doesn’t just stop you feeling negative. I’m so scared that we spend all this money and it’s still not for a positive outcome. I just didn’t ever expect to be in this position, and I’m sure most people don’t. Life just sucks sometimes!