I used my breast milk to make my MIL tea. My husband says I disrespected them?

So… I (28F) just had our first baby six weeks ago. It’s been a wild ride—between the sleepless nights and leaking boobs, I barely feel like myself, but I’ve been trying to hold it all together. My husband (32M) has been supportive in some ways, but he also has this habit of turning into a total mama’s boy whenever his mother is around.

My MIL (58F) has been staying with us for the past few days “to help out,” which mostly means giving unsolicited advice, criticizing how I do things, and making me feel like a guest in my own house. I’ve been trying to be polite, but I’m exhausted and emotional.

The other morning, she asked me to make her a cup of tea while I was juggling the baby and pumping. We were low on milk and I was already annoyed, so I just… used a bit of the breast milk I’d just pumped. Not a lot, just a dash. I didn’t say anything because, honestly, I didn’t think it was a big deal. It’s not like it’s unsafe, and I’ve had weirder things in my mouth this year.

Anyway, my husband found out (not even from me—MIL guessed somehow and confronted him), and he absolutely LOST it. He said I crossed a line, disrespected his mother, and made things “weird” in the house. MIL has been acting like I poisoned her.

I get that it was unconventional—but am I really the villain here?

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Honestly she should think herself lucky that you made her a cuppa when she should have got up off her ass and made her own. I'm sorry but coming to "help" and then not actually helping you. I'd be asking her to leave. It was a silly thing to do in the heat of the moment but it gave me a laugh 🤣

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This is foul. I wouldn't even drink my own breast milk let alone someone else's, if I was her and I found out I genuinely flip my sh*t 🙈

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Pretty sure that's a form of battery/assault, but NBD! You do you, queen! 🙄😒

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Ummmm, I don’t want to drink someone else’s breast milk. So I think you were wrong for doing that. Be honest tho, did you do that to get back at her for criticizing you, giving unsolicited advice etc?

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😄 lets be friends.

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Yeah you def crossed a line here. You sure you didn’t do it on purpose? 😂😬

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Not going to lie, that’s pretty gross. I don’t drink milk at all, let alone someone I knows breastmilk without consent. But she is a horrible human for treating you like a guest in your own house.. so maybe she deserves it.

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Lol I love this and fully support it. You gave birth six weeks ago, likely sleep deprived and beyond exhausted. She came to “help” and instead made you feel like a guest in your own home?!!! She seen/knew you were busy with the baby and asked you to make her tea?! She didnt consider you were already low on milk and probably wouldnt offer to get more. So I wouldve done the same thing. If she wanted tea her way, she should’ve made it herself. 🤷‍♀️

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I think there are healthier ways to approach overbearing MILs, like asking her to nip to the store for milk as you're low, or asking her to leave since she doesn't seem to be helping much, but to override her autonomy to consent to what goes into her mouth, especially when it's from your body is a bit weird imo. I get that your situation sounds less than ideal and you sound overwhelmed, but it's not something I'd have done.

Also, I don't think the problem here is they're acting like you "poisoned" her, I think the issue is in the fact she unknowingly consumed your bodily fluids which is just really odd and absolutely should be something someone is aware of. Although I do think he's right in saying you've crossed a line, I'd be telling him about how her behaviours have also been crossing lines and you don't need her help anymore. It would just be easier to be upfront at this point. I'd apologise and explain myself and then tell her that she's not being helpful and making things harder and to leave.

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Well how would you feel if someone put their bodily fluids in your mouth without consent? I’m guessing not happy? I also think you must have known this would be a big deal really, no point pretending otherwise. I wouldn’t like to be you at the next family gathering - I’d be embarrassed 🙈

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Come on, you did it because you were annoyed at her, not because you think it’s okay, you know it’s not. There’s much more mature ways of dealing with people, ‘sorry there’s not much milk, would you mind going to get some’ would of been the appropriate response, not making them ingest your bodily fluids. I can see why your husband would be fuming, what an awful situation to be put in.

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I feel like someone’s definitely bored and created this story 🤣 because how on earth would the MIL just guess that lmao

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Kinda don't believe this, but would you be happy to unknowingly consume someone's bodily fluid?

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My husband and mother in law wouldn’t have flipped out buttt they definitely would have been looking at me a little side eyed 🤣

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Also if you are making tea and low on milk does tea really need milk? A spoon full of Sugar will do

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breastfeeding is not foul. It’s 2025! You’re a woman too.

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every one is different because I would not be phased at all!

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I don’t think she was saying breastfeeding is foul, but the act of putting your breast milk in someone’s drink without their consent is foul!

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this doesn’t sound real. idk anyone that would even think of doing that. super gross & weird regardless of mil’s shitty behavior.

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my MIL does not take sugar.. I also didn’t want her to rant on about how disorganised I was for not having milk, since it was on the shopping list

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I understand that! You are doing the best you can mama You Will be able to get milk soon and she will have to patient if she is there to help that’s the best gift a new mom can receive 🙏🏽

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I dunno. I’m torn on this one. I don’t agree with giving it to her without her knowledge but I also think people here are over reacting. When doing a shopping list do you write ‘cows bodily fluids’? No, you write ‘milk’ because that’s what it is and so is this. I would class bodily fluids as pee or saliva etc. I dunno. 🤷🏼‍♀️ maybe it’s just me. I tried my breast milk and my friend tried it too, it was just a bit sweeter than regular milk.
Also not sure how your mil would have worked it out tbf

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I would be very disappointed and disgusted if my own husband put MY own breast milk in a drink. Let alone someone else. This is actually gross and you need to apologize and never make them food or drinks moving forward:

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🤣🤣🤣 I would be upset if someone did that to me but it sounds like she deserves it. I say good for you! The fact that’s she’s asking you to make her tea when she’s supposed to be helping you out with a new born is insane! When my mother in law helped me out after my son I didn’t have to do anything other than feed my baby. She would even change diapers and put him to sleep. That’s what helping with a baby is. I never even set foot in the kitchen. I’m sorry all this is happening. I hope you all work through it

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Honestly, this is lowkey assault. And if that sounds dramatic, ask yourself how you’d feel if someone put their bodily fluids in your drink.

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This cracked me up 🤣🤣 i mean if my MIL was living with me that early on and my husband knew my feelings cant say it would of just been breast milk in her tea phahaha brilliant!! 🤣🤣🙈🙈 xx

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Also think people are going way OTT 🤔 my mums boss was so horrible to her that she spat in his coffee once. There's only so much a person can take and everyone is capable of somthing.. if they want to admit it or not! Xx

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Girl u did jus literally try to poison ur mother in law! Omg. First I just want to say congratulations on ur new bundle of joys. A lot of things that we sometimes do when we are new moms should be given grace cuz we are still learning, overstimulated & hormonal. So many changes are happening, so u do deserve to give urself some well deserved grace. Bt dang mama, giving ur MIL ur breast milk is not okay, sis are okay? lol I would have jus said “I’m sorry bt we are out of milk, do u jus want ur coffee or tea without milk?” Or “I’m sorry we are out of milk, so I jus made u a cup of coffee without milk” I’m sure she would understand bt giving her ur breast milk is jus straight up NO. And it’s not the fact that u did it, it’s that u didnt think to tell her & also she is not even ur mother bt ur partners, so thats problematic. U did something that I personally lowkey don’t think I’d be able to look past it. Ur MIL needs to start making her own cup of coffee or tea from now on.

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The ages and genders in parentheses are making this sound like a Reddit AITA…

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Your from America right? So OTT sorry !

My mother in law gave me hell so if I could do that and get away with it it's minor.

Assault your honestly just making me laugh harder at your over reaction lol .

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That’s weird and this sounds like a ChatGPT made up story lol

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Thats disgusting. Never ever give someone your breastmilk WITHOUT their consent. Thats definitely not allowed by the law and its just morally wrong and disgusting 🫠

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Sorry I dont want to create a big thing but for those of you who are saying it's against the law ect please can you show me a post or some evidence of this? I personally can't see this being illegal or even being able to press charges not in the UK you would get laughed at!.

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Having her grandbabys milk would not hurt her , there blood. The mil is pissed off coz she knows it was done purposely piss her off. I have lots of opinions about this but they are not erratic . I will not push my opinion others. Bit there are plenty of worse things in the world than a bit of boob milk .

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Can you send me the link to this please?

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Also it's nothing like blood or spit or semen. Not sure where your getting your info but you should speak to your Dr if you think these things are all the same!

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No, simply putting breast milk in someone's coffee is unlikely to lead to an arrest, as it doesn't constitute a crime. However, if the act is done with the intent to cause harm or illness, it could potentially lead to legal consequences. Additionally, if the person being given the coffee is not aware of the added breast milk and has an allergy or other health issue, it could result in legal action depending on the circumstances.
Here's a more detailed explanation:
No inherent crime:
Putting breast milk in someone's coffee, without intent to harm, is not a crime in itself. It's not a violation of any law, and no laws prohibit using breast milk for any purpose.
Intent to harm:
If you intend to harm the person by adding breast milk to their coffee (e.g., to make them ill or cause them discomfort), then you could face legal repercussions. This could be considered a form of assault or battery, depending on the severity of the intended harm.

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I cant paste the page but that's the first thing that appears when you type the question in Google! I didn't have to search far!

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Wow HIV you really need to research this as your making yourself sound very silly!

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Villian but fucking hilarious 🤣🤣🤣

Its only milk its more weird to drink milk from a different animal than a human anyway, did she specify which milk she wanted anyway cause if not aint ur problem 🤣🤣🤣

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it may not BE a law but its against it . Its called ASSULT WITH BODILY FLUIDS .

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@Rye I would say you need help but your way past it.. maybe someone would catch hiv off you if you put your breat milk in a coffee .. or a disease.. can ony be spread if your carrying a disease and I'm sure a person would be fully aware they are a carrier of such disease and wouldn't be so stupid to do that to someone else .

This girl is talking about a mother in law who was pissing her off so gave her some boob milk lol

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and I said the same thing so whats wrong 🫠

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So you lot are allowed to carry guns have them in your house and car etc but God forbid you put breast milk in someone's coffee that why this is all hilarious! We wouldn't get prosecuted in the UK.. at worst get a fine if someone really wanted to take it that far and as I said breast milk only carry disease if the mother does.

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People would do that as i joke in the UK.. especially as bunch of lads . My husband comes from four boys.. they put dog shampoo in my bath before we moved out 🤣🤣 i didn't call the police.. nor did I when getting pissed on at a festival by a drunk person lol
Breast milk is a beautiful thing and your making it sound like poison.

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This is not made up thank you. She guessed because 1. I left the pumped milk container by the sink and 2. My husband got home and had to head out again to buy milk

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exactly. I am tired.

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@Rye it's being shown to you in black and white and you still can't admit that your wrong? Brest milk does not carry disease and it also is not a crime in every state/ country as pointed out!

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Having some1 drink ur body fluids without knowing is diabolical! This is like putting pee, puke, snot, semen, poop, period blood, vaginal discharge, tears, eye boogers, ear wax etc. in someone’s food! Absolutely not okay! U have breast milk because ur feeding a baby, so obviously the breast milk is for ur baby & maybe whoever WANTS or asks or needs ur breast milk bt giving some1 who didn’t ask for ur breast milk is not okay.

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Incognito honestly don't worry about it! People don't know your circumstances, and it really isn't the end of the world. I'd be more freaked out by a bogey in my tea haha bet I couldn't report that 🤣😂

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