Total loss of libido

I’m sure this has probably come up before so apologies but since I had my third son (oct 23) I have had no libido at all - nothing. We’ve attempted to have sex a handful of times and it’s also been painful for me. I’ve lost confidence in myself and feel I spend my entire life satisfying everyone’s demands. My youngest has been very unwell and as a result I’m still breastfeeding- which is much longer than I’d planned to- but I have no interest in sex at all. I love my partner so much and fancy him and I know he finds it frustrating - but I couldn’t feel less sexual or desirable right now if i tried - I’m also perimenopausal now too which might be part of it - but any suggestions or anyone else in the same boat?! Feel like I’m failing being a good partner :(

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Omg I could of written this post bar the breast feeding I've been in the same boat I actually gave in lastnight as its been 4 months and don't want my husband to get upset or think I don't love him because I really do! But like you I have no libido at all I did after about 6 months after having my son via emergency c section but like I say I haven't for over 4 months now! I think it's got to do with being peri menopause as that's me right now 🤔

So I wasn’t able to due to pain, but that has improved in the last month or 2.. It’s coincided with night weaning and an obvious shift in hormones. I can only relax enough to get in the mood when little one is at Nanas for a few hours. We’ve discussed needing to find a way to still have intimacy when he’s here but I can’t get out of my head enough. My drive has improved as my enjoyment has.. perhaps take the focus of sex, see if you can get some alone time with your partner and just enjoy other things.
If not already could also try the doctors, they can prescribe something that may help with the pain.

That said… Also don’t feel you have to, or put more pressure on yourself.. My partner and I for one reason or another had sex a handful of times in 2yrs.. I worried we’d not get back to where we were before but he’s been amazing, obviously frustrated but understanding and now things are getting better again. Give yourself grace. I struggle raising 1.. you’re raising 3

Also try and find some time for yourself.. guilt free.. let Dad have kids, go out for a walk by yourself, hot soak in bath unrushed with full moisturising pamper after.. sit with a hot cup of coffee outside and enjoy it.. Whatever little things work for you.. You have to take time to nurture yourself, and don’t feel guilty about it.. You can’t give from an empty cup x

in our community

When does it get better?

I was crying on the phone with the perinatal mental health team today and the lovely lady, bless her, kept assuring me that it gets better. I kept telling her I hope so because people have been saying that since having my LO and it just feels like it keeps getting worse. She assured me it gets better....

Rant/WWYD

My sister (youngest, 24) has two kids, 4 & 1, and i (oldest, 30) just have my one who’s 6mo old right now, so i ask her for advice or call her to vent about things sometimes. Well im tired of her turning around and telling my other family members that I’m “losing my sh*t.” Literally have not lost my sh*t nor have i ever freaked out to her about my baby, i just call her to talk and tell her what stage my baby is in or talk through how im feeling, but she chooses to tell people that im like a complete nutcase or something which worries me that my family is going to start being judgmental about me as a mother or looking at me funny like I’m some fragile ticking time bomb.

What would you do in this situation? I’m already pretty much decided that I’ll stop telling her anything about my struggles, but I’m almost at the point where i feel like it should be confronted because she, of all people, should understand what I’m going through.

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