literally crying rn

My boy is 3 in June and he’s stresssing me out ! We always go out once a day at least and he just runs off too. I’ve tried time outs he punches and bites me. He kicks using his full weight and screams in my face.I’ve tried sticker charts on the fridge ! I’m now trying a good behaviour tokens he gets and puts them in a jar and if he’s doing something unacceptable I take the tokens out. At the end of the week if he has filled his little jar he gets a treat. X

i cant take it anymore i’m literally crying my eyes out..i live with my mum she hits my mum as well, she hits my sisters, she is so mean.. shes playful for around an hour a day and thats about it. ive stopped tv shows which are over stimulating ive stopped sugary sweets but it just seems to never end

Yes I’ve cried too. You’re not alone. My boy is hitting a lot I’ve tried doing the you’ve made me sad but then he gets so worked up and angry then has a total meltdown then just needs a cuddle. I’m trying my hardest to overly praise good behaviour in the hopes that it shines through. But omg it’s sooo hard ! He literally laughs in my face. Did that help changing her diet ? X

To me this sounds like you need to speak with your GP and an educational psychologist. This might very well be the twattish-threes stage, but I think it's worth having her behaviour assessed, and for her to join a nursery if she's not already in one. Have a look at flying-start groups in your area. - Pick your battles. Give her the toothbrush and walk away. Walk away from her tantrums. Make yourself a treat in front of her but do not give her one. Sit down, have your treat, ignore her. Only reward her good behaviour when she's behaving! Make a star chart to build points on a daily basis and tell her she can then have control over what treat/reward she chooses at the end of the week - Park, magazine, picnic etc and whenever she misbehaves; take her to the reward chart and tell her to remove a few points. As soon as she hits someone? Take one of her toys and put it in a 'naughty bin', and only when she behaves for more than 24hrs can she then retrieve a toy from the naughty bin and she must apologise!

I suggest contacting your health visitor and GP, they'll be able to help. I don't suggest forcing a 3 year old to apologise when she doesn't understand what she has done yet, as what is she learning by that other than to say sorry without meaning it. She needs to actually feel sorry, which she will when she develops. Unfortunately this age is stressful but please do not be worried to ask for help.

1) can anyone else help so you get a rest?
2) Would you contact early help in the council to get some parenting tips to manage this behaviour? Gentle parenting does not mean shaming her for her behaviour by explaining how you feel, but rather putting in clear boundaries and routine so she knows what to expect and feels safe.
3) My son is hitting lots and we say 'I won't let you hurt people. We're a no hitting family.' But we don't punish or remove connection. She needs more connection and for the hitting to not be reinforced by talking about it all the time.
4) be kind to yourself. This is soooo tough and you've had so much crap on recently. She may sense you being emotionally distant and want you more.
5) this phase will pass...