Am I overreacting?

I haven’t seen my best friend since telling her I was pregnant in October (currently 38+1). Last I heard from her was 2 months ago when she said she wouldn’t be able to make it to my baby shower. She explained that her grandma was being moved into a care home and things were hectic. Of course I completely understand that this is a stressful and upsetting time for her and her family (grandma has been unwell for years). Text convo in the comments. I haven’t heard from her since and have wanted to be supportive but also give her space… it’s tricky to tell what she wants/needs when there’s been zero contact. Today I saw on insta that she liked a post by a celebrity announcing the birth of their child. It’s stung, because I haven’t heard from her at all since March and I posted a couple of bump pics of myself this week which she hasn’t liked (though both her sisters have). So she’s clearly using her phone still… I’m trying to be understanding but I also feel so let down that she hasn’t checked in at all during this pregnancy to see how I am. I’ve decided just to leave her be for now as she’s left me on read and I don’t want to crowd her.

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Wow, that must be hurtful to see your picture and not interact with them 🥲

@Ron I know how that reads 🙈 I normally would not overthink or get offended at somebody not liking something. I don’t even post that often. It’s just with the context it’s hit me weird. Aware that I’m probably hormonal too 😅

Unfortunately this is one of them things that happen when you get pregnant and start a family. I’ve lost countless friends who just don’t check in anymore despite me reaching out… Hope you’re okay!xx

This exact thing happened to me with my best friend a couple of years ago when I had my first daughter, we stopped talking completely when she was around 4 months old as I was the one always messaging and checking in and she would take weeks to reply so I cut my losses and haven't heard from her since 👎🏻💔 unfortunately you get to learn who your real friends are when you have a kid

@Paige @Juliet thanks 🙏🏻 I have other good friends who have been super supportive so I’m lucky in that respect xx

Sometimes people can get so consumed in their own challenges they forget to check in with others. Have you reached out to her again or just waiting for her to reach out? If she’s always been a solid friend I would give her a bit of leniency and see if she reconnects when life’s not so hectic for her. Although I get that it’s disappointing she hasn’t been there for you

This is one of the things that happen the novelty wears off, but maybe she could have infertility issues or going through something unimaginable, you never know theses days but it’s just one of the things that happen when you start a family evryone starts going, I didn’t get invited to my friends birthday as she thought I couldn’t find a babysitter 🥴xx

I’m pregnant with baby #2 right now so maybe it’s my hormones too, but I’m going to tell you straight up. I do not think this friend fully has your best interest at heart. I have given people grace upon grace my entire life. While I agree with the comment above, I also believe we need to start holding people accountable. We don’t always need to be the bigger person or justify their behavior. Your message to that person was very kind, supportive, and showed heart. If this was a real friend she would share with you her struggles so you don’t feel like silence is a personal attack! I really can’t be someone’s friend who would never check on me during pregnancy. P.s I ended a “best friendship” of over 10 years during my first pregnancy. I believed her when she showed me her true colors. I hope you don’t experience the same thing.

@Tess reached out on top of the 2 messages she’s ignored and the insta reels in her DMs she hasn’t opened? 😅 She’s done this several times before - disappeared for months - and I’ve always been the one to continue reaching out until I hear from her, sometimes contacting her family directly when I get really worried.

I lost a friend but wasn’t sad about it. She said she was tired of making the effort and having nothing back. I explained I am a Mum, I’m not the same person from 2019. She wouldn’t accept that so I told her there was no energy to be wasted on our friendship and if I wanted drama, I’d go back to college

Unfortunately, when you have a baby you do end up losing friends and people that you never ever thought you would. I lost near enough my entire friendship group as I didn’t have ‘time’ for them when I had a 10 week old baby and was still recovering from a traumatic emergency section. It’s going to be hard but, cut your losses now and focus on your little bundle of joy. Those who care and have love for you will be there and that’s all that matters. You’ve reached out and have shown her the understanding and love you have for her but, it isn’t being reciprocated. You don’t need that in your life x

Not overreacting at all. I firmly believe that if people want to check in/visit, they make time. Ive been there having "friends" who just went radio silent during my pregnancy but would then have expected to just visit as soon as baby was here. Hard no from me and I told them exactly how I felt. I've gone so long just letting things slide with people but now I just hold my own and hold them accountable and don't settle for less than what I deserve and what I give to my friendships x

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