Dummy Users

What’s everyone doing at night?! He doesn’t really wake for food as much but my god am I putting that dummy in 20+ times

Are we cutting out the dummy or what?! It’s my saving grace in public 😭😭

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I breastfeed so feed him when he wakes up with a a nappy change if that's heavy/full and then a lil top up feed and dummy with a cuddle to settle... the dummy will fall out but by then he's out cold and doesn't notice

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We are formula feeding and I know he’s not hungry 😭 in the last week or so it’s almost like he knows if he spits it out I’ll come over to him because he falls asleep with it in and spits it out on purpose every few mins

We know he’s in a deep sleep when it falls out of his mouth and that’s the longest stretch we get but then when he wakes up later in the night he won’t go to sleep without it again.

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My boy sleeps all night, he’s doing roughly 10 hours however, I’m having a bit of a mare with the dummy situation just now. He used to go to sleep without his dummy and would stir for it around 4am and that be him until he was up for the day. However, I’m finding if he falls asleep without it now, he’s wanting it shortly after. All night he’s stirring for his dummy because he keeps pulling it out and I’m getting no sleep at all because of this. He’s a loud sleeper anyways and I’m a light sleeper so it’s a pain but I was atleast getting a few hours of straight sleep and now I’m lucky if I’m getting 20 minutes before he’s stirring for his dummy again 🙃 I’m so stuck on what to do. I didn’t want him to have a dummy in the first place but he was in nicu and they gave him one so we had to carry on as he looked for that for comfort when we got home. Plus we ended up back in hospital with him and it was a life saver whilst we were there. He never used to rely on it but he is now x

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He's not overly bothered about his dummy but when he gets himself worked up and overtired it's the only thing that will calm him down. He spits it out once he's chilled out about it and then he's fine without it for the rest of the night. He does wake once a night to feed (formula) but literally immediately back to sleep after

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I think Motherhood has made me more bitter than I realized…

This is such a ramble but I don’t know where else to put it all.

I’m four months in and I don’t really have hobbies right now. I don’t do anything for myself except maybe doomscrolling or listening to a podcast while I breastfeed my baby. I used to craft and have game nights with friends. Activities that usually are at least 2 hour stretches. Now if I have an hour free my mind immediately goes to baby, or doing something in the house for baby.

And I thought I didn’t mind. Like I knew postpartum could be very mentally consuming. But I think it’s altering how I view people around me and it’s prodding at my relationship with my husband.

He spends most of his time making food for us, looking after our dogs, playing with the baby, ect. But he still has time for his hobby. Spends maybe an hour a night on it. Even adapted to using a bot for shopping for his hobby after a certain incident where we had to have a heart to heart after he left me home alone with the baby for hours during a busy workday (I work from home) to shop for his hobby.

And yet there’s like this little green eyed monster in me that rages every time I know he’s running off to start up the bot. Even though I’m the reason he does it this way.

We took a family trip last weekend to see his best friend and their kids and let them meet the baby. He brought the laptop. He’s always brought a laptop on trips and it’s never been a problem to me before. But one night we both woke up while the baby was still asleep, and he wandered out of the room. I tried to fall back asleep but couldn’t. So I went to the kitchen to try having something warm to drink to settle me. And he was there at the table running the bot from his laptop. I flipped out at him. But there really wasn’t reason to. It’s not like I needed help with the baby and he was ignoring me. He wasn’t avoiding our friends. He was just awake and unable to sleep and found something to do with his time. Yet my snap reaction was “why the hell would you do this on a family trip?”

I don’t know what it is. Maybe it’s the less complete sleep from baby’s middle of the night feed? My brain being just consumed by baby? Maybe I’m not as over that shopping incident as I thought? But I’m just so annoyed at his hobby right now. The green eyed monster thinks “you could be using that time differently” but realistically to do what exactly??? Stare at our baby in the dark???

I spent probably an hour apologizing to him after I snapped. And he’s of course hurt and frustrated because I said some very mean things in the moment.

I don’t want to be this jealous, angry person. But I also don’t know how to find time for myself in this right now outside of basic hygiene. It’s like I’ve forgotten how to be myself, even if just for an hour.

Maybe I need a therapist.

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