Transferring baby into bassinet/cot

I think at this point it's the opposite. You'll be more successful trying ro teach baby to fall asleep independently.
If you transfer and they can't fall asleep on their own, this will create more wake ups as they can't link sleep cycles. And they will expect for ypu to repeat the same process to fall asleep.

I put baby in the cot awake or drowsy and the pat susshhh whilst in the cot.

Yep, completely agree with the above comment. I think I stopped transferring mine when he was about 3 months ish. I put my boy down awake, I used to just pay his chest and shush, but from 4 months I stopped that and I just kiss his head and he’ll shout abit for a few minutes, then falls asleep. I know it’s tough as they might shout abit and you fall into doing what you know works, but after a few days you should really see a difference and will generally result in less wake ups x

Thank you both. Whenever I try to put her down awake, shush pat lightly rock in the cot etc, she just cries. I’ve sometimes tried to just switch the light off and let her fuss it out, but she only ever escalates. I had more occasional success before the four month sleep regression, and she did longer stretches then, too.

I’m trying to go from nursing to rocking to sleep and am hoping to be able to reduce the amount of rocking to being held and patted, and then be able to pat in the cot eventually.

How did you guys go about getting them to sleep independently? What age did you start and how long would you let them cry? I believe NHS recommendation is to not sleep train before 6 months and she’s 6 months tomorrow.

I breastfeed right before bed, so I feed sitting in the chair, and as soon as his sucks slow and his eyes start to close, I unlatch him. If his eyes snap open and he tries to find the boob again I let him keep eating, if he doesn't then I immediately put him down in the cot. I find doing it at this stage when he's ready to fall asleep but isn't over the hill yet is the perfect sweet spot. Lie him on his side, kiss and bum pats and shushes and he flips on his front and falls asleep within a minute or two

do you use a dummy? It doesn’t sound you like you do.. and if I’m honest, that was the only way I could get him to settle before - he’s almost 6m and I’ve just removed it so he no longer needs it.

So from 2-4 months I would stroke his face or pat his chest. Then at 4 months I stopped and would just sit next to his cot so he could see me, and he would stroke his own face to soothe himself - all bedtimes he was given a dummy. Then at around 5 months I done the Ferber method. I understand NHS says 6m, but I think I established a healthy sleep routine that I thought I would trial it, and during the first few days he would moan/cry for the time that the method says (up to 15-20 mins I think it was) I would give him his dummy again and he would sleep straight away. After about 5 days I think it was he would either go straight down, or he talks/shouts for a few minutes then falls asleep. He generally sleeps through the night now xx

this sounds good. I don’t have faith it would work with my girl though, I’ve tried lying her on her side and that pisses her off too lol, she just wants to be picked up.

no, I tried, we were told to wait 6 weeks before giving it to avoid nipple confusion and as we established breastfeeding. After that, she never took a bottle or a dummy. 😅

Out of curiosity, if your baby was self soothing by stroking his own face, why did you decide to do Ferber?

I don’t feel comfortable doing Ferber or crying methods of sleep training. I know for a lot of people it works really well within just a few days, I can’t make myself do it though. 🙁

yeah, my boy didn’t accept it either at first. At 2 months I tried him with a few different brands and he took to the Nuk dummies, as it’s shaped like a nipple.

When he was self soothing that was with me in the room. If I put him down and walked out, he would cry/shouts as soon as he couldn’t see me - so he needed me with him for him to be able to soothe himself to sleep.

That’s totally fair enough. Could be worth trialling putting her down awake, and just shushing and patting her chest or stroking her head, and see how she takes to it. If she cries then ofcourse pick her up and do what you think is best, but showing that you’re there and comforting her could be a good start for her to eventually teach herself to fall asleep without any sort of rocking, etc

Also, sorry forgot to add, there are loads of gentle sleep training methods out there, definitely worth researching and seeing what you’re interested in trying! x

ah I see. I have tried putting her down awake and comforting! Sometimes she wakes on transfer and I’ll keep my hand on her and pat, and as soon as I take my hand away she’ll wake and refuse to be settled. She’s just a very light sleeper, she’s almost never all floppy to be easily transferred. And on the rare occasion she is, she still wakes after 30 mins sometimes.

I’ve looked into a few gentle methods, I can only find a couple though! I think I’ve been too inconsistent, didn’t really have a plan and also felt she was too young.

Do you use a white noise machine? I’m thinking of introducing.

yep, I use a white noise machine and have a few dim night light - the tommee tippee temperature egg. He can sleep without it but will definitely wake more, and it helps block out any noises that could wake him.

If I’m honest, I don’t think I can offer much advice here lovely, but I hope you find something that helps. Could be worth speaking to a sleeping coach maybe? There’s some on instagram that focus on different sleep styles, etc. They might be able to give you some tips to help!

Good luck lovely x

no worries, even talking it out has helped a bit, ty hun x

Sorry if I repeat something that has already been said.
Like you I do not like ferber or cry it out.
My baby still cries before falling asleep. If it is more like a moan and not really crying I keep tapping his bum and stroking his head. If he starts crying, I pick him up, sooth him but then I put him back in the cot so won't let him fall asleep on me.
At the beginning we had to pick him up many times before he actually settled. I could even feed him again but won't let him fall asleep on the boob.


I don't use a dummy. I don't like them and I don't use white noise either because it would annoy me.

Just want to say I’m in the same situation, I feel my baby is just not ready to be put down drowsy but awake (and he doesn’t even get drowsy really unless he’s being pushed in the pram or in the car) otherwise it’s also feed to sleep. If I take him off the boob before he’s asleep he cries. I know you can sleep train from 6 months but I think we will be waiting a bit longer to attempt any self settling as I know he’s not ready. I’m afraid I don’t really have any tips for transfer other than things you’ve probably already tried, feet first, hand on chest, something in the cot that smells like you, warm it first etc. but I’m in the same situation and we’ll get there eventually!

was this how you trained him? By which I mean, can he now sleep independently or do you still need to do this to put him to sleep?

I hate the idea of white noise lol, since we’re sharing a room, but so many mums swear by it that I’m tempted to give it a try.

I feel like my baby felt more ‘ready’ a couple of months back! She’s only gone downhill with her sleep. Yesterday I put her to sleep 3x by rocking but she woke up immediately on transfer. Fourth time I fed her and she still woke up immediately on transfer. It had been 2.5 hours by this point, so cosleeping it was. And she had less naptime than usual yesterday so I felt she should’ve been more tired and therefore easier to transfer, but nope.

I haven’t tried something that smells like me because I thought there needs to be nothing loose in the cot? How do you do this?

I've replied on a DM

you are describing my nights, you’re not alone! So I have tried putting a T-shirt over the mattress like the mattress is wearing it so it’s tight fitting, but this was in the next to me, in a proper cot that might not work. I have heard some people leave an item of clothing in the cot until the transfer is complete and they know baby is sleeping then move it away, or you could try “wearing” the sheet before you put it on the mattress. Also if your goal is no co sleeping I have heard it’s best to start with getting baby down in the day for their naps when you have more energy. But none of these things have worked for me 🤷‍♀️ so it might not be the best advice!

ah, I’m sorry you’re dealing with the same but it definitely is nice to know I’m not alone. She’s in a cot right by my bed… would I need to ‘wear’ the sheet every night before bed? I wonder how that works… tbf she’s so close to me even in her cot, she can probably smell me anyway 😂

I finally got blackout curtains so I may start trying to put her in the cot for naps. Now she’s on two naps a day, they’re usually both in the pram. Occasionally she wakes up and I need to rescue one via contact. I’d heard it’s easier at night because there’s more sleep pressure.

I appreciate the tips and solidarity. Your last sentence did make me laugh a bit, I’m sorry. We’ll get through this!!

I’m not actually sure, I think you just tuck the sheet into your bra or something and go about your day when you’re at home 😂 I’m just hoping it all falls into place eventually! Good luck! I hope something works for you 🤞