Mum issues (sorry it’s long)
Yesterday, I had a fallout with my mom. She currently lives with us to help out with my toddler, especially since we recently welcomed a new baby.
Our relationship changed significantly when I moved abroad. I stopped being what she would call “obedient.” In truth, I had always been afraid of her growing up, but moving away allowed me to see the world and our relationship differently.
What happened yesterday was this: I spent about an hour upstairs with both my newborn, whom I was breastfeeding, and my toddler. At some point, my toddler wanted to place some teddy bears in the baby’s cot. I tried to explain to her that the baby is still too little for toys in the cot and that it could actually be dangerous. She became hysterical and started crying loudly, which risked waking the baby. So I took her into another room to calm her down. At some point, I went back to check on the baby and closed the nursery door behind me.
My mom rushed upstairs and immediately commented, “Look at you—you closed the door.” I reopened it and confronted her, asking what she meant by that. She responded, “Let me remind you, you have two children.” She said this in front of my toddler. I was deeply upset and told her not to make comments like that again.
My question is: Was I overreacting? Just because we have a new baby, should I not discipline or set boundaries with my toddler?
I don’t understand why my mom always has to be so judgmental and make remarks like that. And this isn’t the first time it’s becoming a pattern. The other day, she even compared my parenting to that of her sister, someone she used to criticize harshly behind her back.
Honestly, I’m at a loss. I’m trying really hard to maintain a healthy relationship with both of my parents, but somehow, it always ends in conflict.
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I think you’re doing what you believe is right. Which is nothing wrong with that it’s your first time parenting two children regardless mistakes can be made if u can call this that. But you’re an adult and you can parent your children how you see fit.
I think your mum is trying to help you and give her opinion out of worry and care but yes her choice of word could be better as it comes off confrontational.
Also side note i understand in terms of your choice of how you tackled the situation nothing wrong with it but i think not allowing your child to be loud around the baby may make it harder for you —yes we want babies to sleep but if your newborn gets used to to the noise in the house they will learn to sleep through it not saying all the time like there will be times when your exhausted and want baby to go down for nap but other than that let your toddler be loud around the baby. Will make things easier for u in long run x
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