Feeling depressed and disconnected

My son was born on 11/05 at 26 weeks, I was still in hospital up until 30/05 and since coming home I just feel so disconnected to most things especially my son which breaks my heart. I'm diagnosed bipolar and eupd so unsure if I'm having an episode with them, post partum depression or whether it's something else entirely. My partner has asked me all day if I'm going to the hospital to see our son but I haven't been able to bring myself to go so he's gone to the hospital but he seems very disappointed in me for not going and asked me why I won't go and I honestly don't know how to answer him. I feel so useless and like I can't do anything right at the moment especially when it comes to our son. Since coming home the whole situation feels like a fever dream and I know I had a baby but I also feel like I don't. Sorry for the long rambly post I just feel like I needed to get it all out.

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I was very disconnected from my little girl. I think having babies so early is such a shock to the system. I felt so guilty that I didn’t have that instant connection with her and I almost feel now I I grieved not having the “normal birth experience”, and having her in the NICU. Once she was home I definitely felt better.
Maybe speak with your GP with your past medical history, maybe it’ll be good to speak with someone that understands a bit more. Our partners don’t fully understand our emotions after having a baby.

Sending you so much love, it's such a hard time and feeling disconnected is really common. You've been through so much and it's hard to process everything, especially when your baby is still in hospital. You aren't useless and you will get through this.
Everyone deals with things differently and there is no right or wrong way, but you will get there. It's good to get it out and if you want to chat, feel free to message me.
It could be worth talking to your GP or if you are on Instagram there is a page called MIracle Moon which is a support group especially for parents with babies I. NICU, it talks about all the feelings you've mentioned and ways to work through it etc. There's lots of others who feel/have felt the same as you.
It can feel really unnatural that you don't have your baby at home with you, I struggled with that for a long time and that there were nurses who were looking after her, not me. It's hard to bond when they are attached to machines etc but it won't be like this forever ❤️❤️❤️

I feel you as I have gone through same cycle. I simply did not wanted to deal with it anymore. Nicu visits, milk extraction, doctors meets it overwhelmed me. I was not able to connect with my baby and most of the time was in denial mode. It’s the harmones playing. But right when my baby was home, life was back. And you’ll enjoy every moment with your baby. Overthinking did not help me. Have good sleep and rest well mama. You need it for your body and mind to recover ♥️ Your baby will be absolutely fine.

in our community

Really bothered by this

A friend posted this and it really bothers me because that is exactly how she parents her kid, and it's rather unfortunate because when our kids hang out together, her kid has a meltdown at least 5x within an hour. We have know them for years and it's only gotten worse. My kids will concede to hers, because they don't want to see their friend crying, but it sucks because they give up so much of their toys and enjoyment to keep the peace. We aren't hanging out as much anymore but it's rather sad to think she doesn't intervene more in her child tantrums and just let's it slide

Is this normal

Let’s say you’re at a softplay with your 2 year old, and some friends & their toddlers.
You buy your 2 year old a kids meal - chicken nuggets, beans, and chips. They’re very happy with it and have almost eaten it all.
They’re sat at the table, fork in hand, consistently eating, and have one chicken nugget left.
Your adult friend comes over from behind you, picks up the last chicken nugget, and eats it.
There was no indication that your child wasn’t going to eat it, and they didn’t ask. They just took it with no warning and ate it right in front of you and your toddler.
How you reacting?

Are these men ok?

I get so sad seeing all the posts on here daily about women dealing with partners who are treating them horribly. I know it seems over represented because those of us with great partners don’t need to write posts asking for help, but I really hope most of us don’t have these kinds of men in our lives!

I tell my husband about these posts I see sometimes and he’s even shocked by some of the things these guys say/do.

Nobody’s perfect, and every relationship takes work. And becoming parents is a stress test unlike any other for sure, but seeing how many women get stuck in these relationships with men who aren’t interested in being better is so so sad😞

But is/was your partner helpful, loving, and supportive during your pregnancy/PP/etc? Was he a wonderful person but changed for the worst after becoming a parent? Has he put effort into becoming the partner you need him to be, even if he struggles?

Pouches

I’m not one of those mums who stand in the kitchen making every meal from scratch and batches of healthy snacks as I simply do not have time with other children and soon back to a full time job, but I do try give my weaning baby part of what we eat at meal times and will throw something healthy together if what we eat isn’t suitable. However, I do have some pouches in for convenience or a last resort. I’ve only used these a few times in the space of two months but she absolutely LOVES them. She will scream for more, get excited when she sees the pouch and will literally eat the whole thing. She’s underweight so this is massive for me seeing her eat so well, but the guilt is getting to me a bit! Anybody else like a little pouch every now and then and can make me feel a little better about giving her them😅

Friends with shitty husbands

Does anyone have a close friend with a shittv husband?

My best friend of 14years married her high school sweetheart (minus the sweetheart.) He was always a POS growing up, had an on and off relationship and eventually from what I was told, they sorted their shit out and got married. I moved countries and her and I drifted apart for a while so I didn't know too much about what their relationship was like but assumed all was well since her social media alluded to that.

We both had babies within a year of each other, she had hers first and when she gave birth I found out I was pregnant. I had a rough pregnancy and we weren't in contact much but after my LO was born we spoke a lot. This is when I found out that she was struggling with PPD etc. She opened up about how useless her husband is, I would go as far as to say abusive. She's a SAHM who basically does absolutely evervthing & is being financially abused She's completelv touched out and is about to have a second child in a week.

I absolutelv cannot stand her husband. I hate how he treats her. I hate to hear about him. She posted on social media all the time about how lucky she is to have him as a husband and father to her babies yet cries to me on the phone in private about what really goes on.
I'm at a point now where I want to tell her that I don't want to hear about it anymore. I feel guilty that she's going through this but she's also allowing it to continue in a sense. I'm so emotionally exhausted with her problems and just want to shake her.

How do you/would you navigate this situation?

Car issues

Idk if I’m in the wrong. I have a full time job. My husband takes care of the kids while I worked. Today was the day I was supposed to get us a car. But I couldn’t cause of the down payment. So now he’s texting me saying I’m wasting his day to be alone at Walmart so he can spend his tax return. I really want to say go ahead. Leave. Leave the kids and me alone. While you go out and spend money. While your at go ahead and buy urself your drugs and a bitch to go fuck.

Lucky I’m even thinking about him about the car situation if not I would’ve been buying me and the kids a car small enough for us!