Can’t take my step daughters to the nail salon

My step daughters are 5 (6 later this month) and 7 years old. I enjoy getting my nails done and somehow in conversations the nail salon came up with the girls. I told them I’d take them and thought it be fun for us to do, just girls. I made sure to select a super clean upscale nail salon that only uses non-toxic polish and does mani pedis for children. The girls enjoyed it sooo much and were so happy. Bio mom freaked out when the girls returned to her. She got super mad and pretty much flipped out about how disrespectful it was. She sent my partner a list of all the things she doesn’t want anyone else doing with the girls. She also said she had never done that with the girls and it would have been better for the oldest to do it first then the younger one… apparently she has never taken them. My partner said his ex isn’t into that sort of stuff so he couldn’t see her doing that. I like to go to the nail salon and the girls talked about wanting to go. I painted their nails once and bio mom didn’t say a word so it’s because I took them. I apologized to her that I only got the okay from their father and didn’t ask her too.

I respect that things should be reserved for bio mom but I really didn’t know it be such an issue taking the girls to a nail salon. I remember my dad’s girlfriend took me with her to a nail salon when I was a child. My mom had no issue with it. My partner and I have a son and I would love to have a daughter to do fun girly things with and I thought it could be a fun bonding experience but bio mom shut that down fast! Was I wrong for taking them? Anyone else have restrictions on what they can do? I would never go take the girls for hair cuts, ear piercings or anything like that. Navigating being a stepmom for things as simple as nails bugs me a bit so I needed to vent.

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I don’t think you did anything wrong. She is jealous and thinking about her feelings over her daughters. Her daughters had fun and that is what matters.

I think she’s being ridiculous. My step daughter’s mom did the same thing. Woman always has her lashes done, hair extensions, fresh set however was letting my daughter walk around with 4-5 week old acrylics that desperately needed a fill. Daughter asked me to take her so I did. Mom flipped out! We ignored it. Per my husband it’s our time with them and was something she needed and wanted for her confidence, hygiene, etc. we take them for haircuts, ear piercings, etc. dad has just much of a say as mom. She also flipped out my husband and I took the oldest bra shopping. She was 13 and beyond developing training bras weren’t cutting it. I noticed it and went three weeks seeing if mom would take her shopping and she didn’t. You’re allowed to bond with those girls

I don't think you crossed a line or anything. I think bio mom is jealous and on a power trip. You got permission from the father. You don't need permission from her. Whenever they are at your guys house it's your guys rules not hers.

Yeah she’s jealous. You did nothing wrong. Sounds like the trip to the nail salon was on your time when the girls are at their dad’s house. You asked their dad. He okayed it. You made sure everyone was safe. She’s just petty.

You didn't do anything wrong. If she never said anything about wanting to take them to the nail salon, then how would you know?! It's her issue.

It sounds like she hasn't fully adjusted to the divorce. She has lost the ability to have a say at dad's house. It's understandably hard for her, and you can relate on some level, but it's not really your problem. Feel free to have your husband let her know her list is unenforceable so she is not caught off guard when something comes up next time. If she'd like to go to court to amend their custody order over hair and nails, the judge will not view this favorably.... As far as the relationship aspect goes, you don't need to antagonize her or go out of your way to upset her, but you don't need to walk on eggshells either.

I feel bad that I actually felt guilty and apologized! She thanked me for that but I wish I didn’t. I think my partner had a convo on the phone and he listened to her points. To keep the peace he tends to let her be in charge.

I don’t know what agreement or custody you and ur partner have in place with ur step kids so I don’t know the full story of what is agreed upon. However, Bio mom can’t stop you from being a good mother and micro manage what you do in ur home. As long as what ur doing isn’t causing harm to the kids then there should be no issue. As time goes on the request are only gonna get more ridiculous. And it sounds like bio mom has her own insecurities she needs to workout. Sounds like her pride and ego getting in the way, when no harm has actually been done. You can’t expect a blended family to be perfect, and you have to understand that you might miss out on certain experiences because of a blended family. That’s not bad, it’s just taking turns sometimes. Bio mom can still take the girls for a mani pedi, just because she didn’t do it first isn’t the end of the world

U did nothing wrong. However, the mum may want curtain things delayed, like if she wants her daughter to wait till a certain age before do I no certain things, thay i would respect, But if its not about that but who should take her, then that's not an issue but just pettiness. The dad has as much right as her. My take is, "Do unto others as you would want them to do to you". If your child was with a step mum, would you be upset about it?

I don’t think I would no. I also think because I like going to the nail
Salon I would have already done it. If I had a daughter and she had a step mom I doubt I would be upset at this. My dad had a girl friend that took me to the nail salon and my mom had no issue with it. It was rare but a treat I loved doing with my dad’s gf.

in our community

Really bothered by this

A friend posted this and it really bothers me because that is exactly how she parents her kid, and it's rather unfortunate because when our kids hang out together, her kid has a meltdown at least 5x within an hour. We have know them for years and it's only gotten worse. My kids will concede to hers, because they don't want to see their friend crying, but it sucks because they give up so much of their toys and enjoyment to keep the peace. We aren't hanging out as much anymore but it's rather sad to think she doesn't intervene more in her child tantrums and just let's it slide

Is this normal

Let’s say you’re at a softplay with your 2 year old, and some friends & their toddlers.
You buy your 2 year old a kids meal - chicken nuggets, beans, and chips. They’re very happy with it and have almost eaten it all.
They’re sat at the table, fork in hand, consistently eating, and have one chicken nugget left.
Your adult friend comes over from behind you, picks up the last chicken nugget, and eats it.
There was no indication that your child wasn’t going to eat it, and they didn’t ask. They just took it with no warning and ate it right in front of you and your toddler.
How you reacting?

Are these men ok?

I get so sad seeing all the posts on here daily about women dealing with partners who are treating them horribly. I know it seems over represented because those of us with great partners don’t need to write posts asking for help, but I really hope most of us don’t have these kinds of men in our lives!

I tell my husband about these posts I see sometimes and he’s even shocked by some of the things these guys say/do.

Nobody’s perfect, and every relationship takes work. And becoming parents is a stress test unlike any other for sure, but seeing how many women get stuck in these relationships with men who aren’t interested in being better is so so sad😞

But is/was your partner helpful, loving, and supportive during your pregnancy/PP/etc? Was he a wonderful person but changed for the worst after becoming a parent? Has he put effort into becoming the partner you need him to be, even if he struggles?

Pouches

I’m not one of those mums who stand in the kitchen making every meal from scratch and batches of healthy snacks as I simply do not have time with other children and soon back to a full time job, but I do try give my weaning baby part of what we eat at meal times and will throw something healthy together if what we eat isn’t suitable. However, I do have some pouches in for convenience or a last resort. I’ve only used these a few times in the space of two months but she absolutely LOVES them. She will scream for more, get excited when she sees the pouch and will literally eat the whole thing. She’s underweight so this is massive for me seeing her eat so well, but the guilt is getting to me a bit! Anybody else like a little pouch every now and then and can make me feel a little better about giving her them😅

Friends with shitty husbands

Does anyone have a close friend with a shittv husband?

My best friend of 14years married her high school sweetheart (minus the sweetheart.) He was always a POS growing up, had an on and off relationship and eventually from what I was told, they sorted their shit out and got married. I moved countries and her and I drifted apart for a while so I didn't know too much about what their relationship was like but assumed all was well since her social media alluded to that.

We both had babies within a year of each other, she had hers first and when she gave birth I found out I was pregnant. I had a rough pregnancy and we weren't in contact much but after my LO was born we spoke a lot. This is when I found out that she was struggling with PPD etc. She opened up about how useless her husband is, I would go as far as to say abusive. She's a SAHM who basically does absolutely evervthing & is being financially abused She's completelv touched out and is about to have a second child in a week.

I absolutelv cannot stand her husband. I hate how he treats her. I hate to hear about him. She posted on social media all the time about how lucky she is to have him as a husband and father to her babies yet cries to me on the phone in private about what really goes on.
I'm at a point now where I want to tell her that I don't want to hear about it anymore. I feel guilty that she's going through this but she's also allowing it to continue in a sense. I'm so emotionally exhausted with her problems and just want to shake her.

How do you/would you navigate this situation?

Car issues

Idk if I’m in the wrong. I have a full time job. My husband takes care of the kids while I worked. Today was the day I was supposed to get us a car. But I couldn’t cause of the down payment. So now he’s texting me saying I’m wasting his day to be alone at Walmart so he can spend his tax return. I really want to say go ahead. Leave. Leave the kids and me alone. While you go out and spend money. While your at go ahead and buy urself your drugs and a bitch to go fuck.

Lucky I’m even thinking about him about the car situation if not I would’ve been buying me and the kids a car small enough for us!