WWYD: Neglect, SK sent to us in soiled clothing

I need opinions on what to do if there is anything we can do. We can’t afford a lawyer atm but are saving and documenting for when we can. So onto the issue…

It has been an issue for years of stepkid ( now 5) arriving in clothes that not only don’t fit but are also soiled. I’m talking soaked in pee, dry but reeking of pee, stained with poop, underwear that have poop in them. We’ve tried having many conversations with her mom about this, we usually text her when we notice this. She always minimizes the situation or deflects. It used to be I didn’t notice, now it’s usually she’s lying about when she had the accident, you’re lying, prove it, ect.

This happens so much we almost always have to throw away the underwear she comes over in. If it’s not actively got pee or poop in it/ on it then it’s stained with poop marks.

Last time we picked stepkid up from her mom’s we noticed she was soaked. She was visibly wet in the front and back so we sent her back in to get cleaned up and changed. When she came back out she was crying hysterically. She said she got in trouble for peeing herself. When we asked if she wiped her clean ( cause she usually says she doesn’t) she said no she didn’t however her mom claimed she did over text. We decide not to bother with asking her mom and decide to go straight home instead of continuing our plans and thank god we did.

We get home to get her in the shower and see that clearly her mom didn’t wipe her as she claimed. She had literally shit on her ass, a lot. We asked her if this happened before or after her mom changed her and she told us before. That it happened while she was eating. We text her mom like hey not only are the clothes too small but she had shit on her ass and someone had used the inside of her shirt as a snot rag. And we said someone because it was ALOT OF SNOT and it was dried up on the back of the inside of her shirt clearly from before she put it on. She told us she’s lying to us, that she must’ve pooped herself in the car, that it must be her snot and if it’s not her snot it’s chalk or paint, blah blah blah.

Mind you this wasn’t early morning like they just got up. This was after 3pm. Who knows how long she had been sitting in piss and shit. Not only that… when we got sk her baby brother ran to the door… in a diaper so full we could see the blue line and how much it was bulging out from the car. Completely puffed out in front and back. My babies diaper rarely even gets that full overnight. Begs the question wtf was she doing and wtf has she been doing the several hours prior for her baby to be in such a full diaper and for sk to be sitting in piss and shit without her noticing. We could smell she had been smoking weed as it was terribly strong when she opened the door.

Maybe I’m too emotional but I cried my eyes out for those poor kids. Both of them sitting in their own bodily fluids while stuck in a house that smells like weed while their mom does god knows what.

WWYD if you can’t goto court right away?

in our community

Is it bad of me to think this or no?

My husband has been abroad for work (1 day and exploring for 1 day) for 2 and a half days which means I’ve had both kids (1 year and 4 year old) for 2 and a half days plus cooking, cleaning, taking them to clubs, bedtimes!
He came home late afternoon and said I’m so tired, I just need to chill. I said can you wash up whilst I sort kids dinner out, he said he’ll do it later which means he won’t do it and I’ll end up doing it so I said no do it now please otherwise I’ll end up doing it and he said well you have been home and I’ve been away so you’ve just been relaxing.
Don’t know what planet he is on but having the kids alone for 2.5 days is not relaxing. I was stressed!

When he was away, I did miss him and wanted him to come back but now he’s back, I want him to go away again😂
Is that bad?

Really bothered by this

A friend posted this and it really bothers me because that is exactly how she parents her kid, and it's rather unfortunate because when our kids hang out together, her kid has a meltdown at least 5x within an hour. We have know them for years and it's only gotten worse. My kids will concede to hers, because they don't want to see their friend crying, but it sucks because they give up so much of their toys and enjoyment to keep the peace. We aren't hanging out as much anymore but it's rather sad to think she doesn't intervene more in her child tantrums and just let's it slide

Is this normal

Let’s say you’re at a softplay with your 2 year old, and some friends & their toddlers.
You buy your 2 year old a kids meal - chicken nuggets, beans, and chips. They’re very happy with it and have almost eaten it all.
They’re sat at the table, fork in hand, consistently eating, and have one chicken nugget left.
Your adult friend comes over from behind you, picks up the last chicken nugget, and eats it.
There was no indication that your child wasn’t going to eat it, and they didn’t ask. They just took it with no warning and ate it right in front of you and your toddler.
How you reacting?

Are these men ok?

I get so sad seeing all the posts on here daily about women dealing with partners who are treating them horribly. I know it seems over represented because those of us with great partners don’t need to write posts asking for help, but I really hope most of us don’t have these kinds of men in our lives!

I tell my husband about these posts I see sometimes and he’s even shocked by some of the things these guys say/do.

Nobody’s perfect, and every relationship takes work. And becoming parents is a stress test unlike any other for sure, but seeing how many women get stuck in these relationships with men who aren’t interested in being better is so so sad😞

But is/was your partner helpful, loving, and supportive during your pregnancy/PP/etc? Was he a wonderful person but changed for the worst after becoming a parent? Has he put effort into becoming the partner you need him to be, even if he struggles?

Pouches

I’m not one of those mums who stand in the kitchen making every meal from scratch and batches of healthy snacks as I simply do not have time with other children and soon back to a full time job, but I do try give my weaning baby part of what we eat at meal times and will throw something healthy together if what we eat isn’t suitable. However, I do have some pouches in for convenience or a last resort. I’ve only used these a few times in the space of two months but she absolutely LOVES them. She will scream for more, get excited when she sees the pouch and will literally eat the whole thing. She’s underweight so this is massive for me seeing her eat so well, but the guilt is getting to me a bit! Anybody else like a little pouch every now and then and can make me feel a little better about giving her them😅

Friends with shitty husbands

Does anyone have a close friend with a shittv husband?

My best friend of 14years married her high school sweetheart (minus the sweetheart.) He was always a POS growing up, had an on and off relationship and eventually from what I was told, they sorted their shit out and got married. I moved countries and her and I drifted apart for a while so I didn't know too much about what their relationship was like but assumed all was well since her social media alluded to that.

We both had babies within a year of each other, she had hers first and when she gave birth I found out I was pregnant. I had a rough pregnancy and we weren't in contact much but after my LO was born we spoke a lot. This is when I found out that she was struggling with PPD etc. She opened up about how useless her husband is, I would go as far as to say abusive. She's a SAHM who basically does absolutely evervthing & is being financially abused She's completelv touched out and is about to have a second child in a week.

I absolutelv cannot stand her husband. I hate how he treats her. I hate to hear about him. She posted on social media all the time about how lucky she is to have him as a husband and father to her babies yet cries to me on the phone in private about what really goes on.
I'm at a point now where I want to tell her that I don't want to hear about it anymore. I feel guilty that she's going through this but she's also allowing it to continue in a sense. I'm so emotionally exhausted with her problems and just want to shake her.

How do you/would you navigate this situation?