Wives only

When did you start doing “wifey things”??? they say don’t do wifey things before you’re a wife but you hat else am I supposed to do? Am I ruining my chances of getting married by giving him my all now?

Wifey things:

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I feel like that’s a mostly antiquated thing now. As long as you’re upfront and honest with each other that marriage is the ultimate goal, why not take care of each other? Most couples are living together before marriage anyway so not doing “wifey” or “long term partner-y” things would just be weird.

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What the hell are ‘wifey’ things? That’s such an old fashioned view. I was with my now husband for 10 years before we got married, absolutely zero changed when we did get married, it’s just a legal technicality, our day to day relationship was the exact same. We are just two people doing life as a team.

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I was with my husband for 4 and half years before we got married, but got engaged just about 2 years in. We wanted a long engagement so we could pay for our wedding without debt and without compromising on what we wanted.
I haven't changed how I am with him, im still just me and he's just him. We work and fit together which is why we got married.
I think its worth an honest conversation to say thats your end point of a relationship, like talking about kids. But I don't think it should change how you are together.

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Personally I think it’s the man’s preference. They say men know they want to marry you within like 1 yr or something. I’ve always done “wifey” things for my now husband since we were dating, especially when we moved together. But also having a baby made us get married faster. Some men probably want to see “wifey” characteristics before marriage to see what they’ll get, and some may just want it all and not have to be married. I think it depends on the man. But these are conversations you should have before being serious. If he’s looking for marriage, what does he want in a wife? What kind of family dynamic is he looking for.

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Unpopular opinion if he’s going to marry you .. he would marry you.
Don’t rush things, allow yourself time to grow and enjoy dating your person.

Be who you are. If you are the nurturing type to take on a domestic role.. be that.

If you aren’t, don’t be that.

I say this as a woman who has been married for 3 years to my partner of 10 years.

In the beginning I thought I had to play house. She had a role and I did too.
It was stressful and it was annoying…
Soo we decided to just date. Enjoy each other’s time truly. We each gave 100% to each other and on days where I lacked she picked up and vise versa..

If you’re with your person, then you will not have to do anything or be anything else but yourself.
You will lot have to take on a role and force anything you’ll just settle naturally into it.

There is no such thing as “wifey thing” or “wifey role”
Just figure out how yall work/flow together, take care of each other and be truthful about what you’re wanting / expecting.

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Marriage is not about levelling up your partner’s behaviour or habits, it’s saying that we’re two people who want to do life together. It’s trusting a person to make medical decisions on your behalf, combining financial goals so that you can achieve them more effectively. It’s saying that regardless of your circumstances, you are committed to your relationship. Being a wife isn’t a performance or an upgrade, and the ring shouldn’t be an incentive. If a person is not willing to claim you the way you want them to, it doesn’t matter whether you’ve been the perfect homemaker or not, they’re not the right person.

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When you start dating, you have a conversation with your partner about what your long term goals are for the future. If that includes marriage and children, is he onboard with it? Heavy on the marriage before children part if that is important to you.

Men know within a very short period of time whether they want to marry you - or not.

How long have you been together? Did you tell him you wanted to be married? What did he say?

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I don’t agree with the term “wifey things” but I know what things you’re referring to. If a man doesn’t want to marry you, he won’t marry you - regardless if you do wifey things or not.

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for me it was cooking. i only cooked once a month or once a week for a boyfriend. but it doesn’t matter what you do, if a man wants to marry you or doesn’t he will :) i know some wives who don’t cook at all or clean etc

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