SAHMs

SAHM - UK.
We live pretty comfortably but we’ve also made huge sacrifices too.

*edit - sacrifices as in he’s barely home, goes to work early comes home late - but we still go on holidays, eat take out and go on dates etc*

In my (very limited!) experience it's mostly been women in the UK who earn around the same amount as nursery would cost, so they decide as a family that it doesn't make sense for them to go back to work for a few years.

Also remember in the US that they often don't get proper maternity leave. It's like 6 weeks or less in many cases. So to get any kind of time with their baby they need to quit work for a year or two.

I technically could be a SAHM if I really wanted to be and we made some sacrifices as my husband is on a high salary. But, I really enjoy my career and am also a high earner so doubling our income helps us live where/how we want and feel fulfilled as adults outside of the children. We're grateful that we can mostly work from home so try to get ahead of chores in between meetings so we can spend quality time with the kids in the evenings and at weekends.

Daycare costs what I would make at a job so it’s not worth it. I also don’t trust most other people with my children.

I’m in the us & daycare costs as much as renting a second apartment.

I think location makes a huge difference too. I’m a SAHM mum mostly and our boy goes to nursery 2 days a week (either for me to have me time, do stuff around the house, or work for my small business which we don’t count towards income). My partner earns a tidy wage, but we’re also in a small town in south wales, we wouldn’t be able to afford it if we were in a bigger city

I’m still technically on mat leave but not returning to work. As Caroline said it’s because what I would earn at work would go solely to nursery fees but we don’t qualify for any funded hours as my husband earns a lot more than I do. I am keen for my LO to attend nursery when he’s a bit older as I think it’s good for his social development, so we will be looking at ways we can make this work…I think I probably will end up going back to work at some point in some capacity but for now I will not be returning 😊

American women don’t have much of an option.
Daycare is $1200 a month per child average in the US.
Taxes get 15% of our salary for the average American.
We don’t have federal paid maternity leave.
We end up calling in a lot if anyone is sick and kids get sick a lot from daycare infecting the whole house.
So between all of it and some other factors it’s not worth the cost of working to miss that much time with our kids only to break even or close to even.

We don’t afford it 🤣

we're poor 🤗 hope that helps

I used to be a sahm. We moved from Surrey to Suffolk and I was given a years redundancy which helped. My son also has autism so could claim carers allowance and UC.

I'm very lucky that I only pay $240 a week in daycare. Most places are way more expensive.

Oh and like others say, nursery costs would be more than our mortgage if he was in full time

I would consider household income when deciding whether daycare was worth it, not just the mom’s income, but that’s an aside.

I’m not a SAHM but we could afford for me to be one. My husband is a financial advisor and I’m a teacher although I make more than most teachers do.

I think the prevalence of stay at home moms varies a lot by area in the US, too. No one in my circle really is a stay at home parent.

I’m in London and even if I wanted to go back to my previous job the money I’ll spend in nursery is close to the salary I’ll get. So my husband and I decided to stay home atm, he gets a nice high salary and we are not struggling, but we are careful now how to spend. Also we have a pretty good savings.
Once they provide 30 hours a week I think I can start to look for a part time job, just to be more independent.

I’m in the US and I don’t know any SAHM’s either. All the mom’s I know both family and friends all work. I think it just makes sense for them to work because their income is high enough to cover childcare and then some.

UK SAHM here.

My salary would have covered childcare costs where we live; I decided to take a career break. No regrets.

SAHM UK, used to work before being pregnant but as everyone mentioned my salary would barely covered the childcare costs, so what’s even the point 🤷🏻‍♀️
I was supposed to start looking for a job once she’s eligible to some free childcare hours but found out i am
Pregnant again 😂 so home i stay…

(In the US) I feel like there are more SAHM’s now because people can’t afford daycares anymore. Also it’s less common in the cities because cities are more expensive. When I was a kid, I didn’t know anyone who’s mom didn’t work.

SAHM UK too. As others have said my teacher salary basically just covered childcare in west London. We worked out childcare + commuting would mean I only take home £400 a month. For us as a family we did not think it was worth putting our daughter in nursery 11 hours a day, have someone else look after her that wasn’t us, just for me to take home £400. We just closer budget and aren’t able to save as much while I’m staying home.

I’m pregnant with number 2 so will be home for another 3 years at least as I have been with our first. My mum was a SAHM and for me it’s something I’ve always wanted as I want to be with my girls as long as possible before they start school. Once they are both in school I will look at returning to the classroom.

We will be working till were into our 70s so for me it’s not a big deal to have 6/7 years not working as it’s something I’ll return to later when they’re older and then we will be back to a two income household.

I've been a stay-at-home mom for 9 years in the US, I had my second son when when my first son was in pre-k and reset the hole situation. I will say I work a part-time job, but I still believe that for all intents and purposes I am a stay-at-home mom

Poverty🥰
If you dont laugh, you cry lol

SAHM UK for similar reasons to many above. I enjoyed my job but I wasn't passionate enough about it to spend all my salary on nursery, and there was some weekend working so we were missing out on half our weekends to be together as a family. So I'm taking a year or two out. It's a sacrifice but also a privilege. I agree that it seems uncommon, I would love another SAHM friend who is more free in the week but I'm the only one I know at the moment!

I just came here too say if you’re from the UK 🇬🇧 I loveeeeee y’all’s accent 🥰🥰

For my family, and I feel like this is pretty common in the US, my pay was so far below what my fiance makes and the cost of daycare so high that if I opted to put her into daycare, id be working for 1$ an hour (not even factoring in gas/travel to and from work). It's not always about how to afford things in the US sadly, sometimes its more of a weighing of cost vs quality of life. Now im extremely lucky that my fiance has a well paying job that he loves and hes more than happy to work extra for me to stay at home. If he had a less paying job? We probably wouldnt be engaged and id have to take advantage of the government assistance just to make ends meet. It's kinda effd up tbh. Like I said im super lucky. I couldn't imagine doing this alone on minimum wage or God forbid just a little more than minimum and not qualifying for the govt assistance

I was a SAHM for 18m, and financially still could be, but chose to go back to work. Even part time my wage is more than childcare costs for 4 full days. Husband also works hard in a job that pays well, and we keep bills low.

There are plenty of SAHMs. You will find them in baby classes, David Lloyd or at home.

Some SAHMs live in households with good incomes and others learn to leave within their means.

I don't buy this thing of 'we can't live just with one salary'. Yes, you can. You just don't want to spend less. If you could afford a nursery, you had the choice to go back to work. Some people can't afford nurseries and SAHM is their only choice.

my husband and i were raised in asian households that were strict about success. a lot of our friends or what i hear online is “30’s is the new 20’s and 20’s is the new teens!!” “20’s are for mistakes and 30’s is for the hustle” etc…but growing up in my household it was “if you aren’t successful by 18 and have your own house you’re a fucking loser” lol 😅 so we got our shit together quick. my husband is a great provider and we’re very comfortable and i’m glad i get to live my adulthood not struggling
we weren’t broke growing up though, we both had very good financial backgrounds and as long as it helped towards a good future our families both were willing to/and have paid for all our schools/education and tools necessary for us to thrive as adults

We live very frugally. It sucks but basically my whole pay check would go to daycare so no point and I’m not comfortable letting others watch her just yet.

Thanks for sharing everyone 🙏🏼

It depends on your outgoings. I live in the UK and am a SAHM. My partner earns below average wage. My wage would have nearly all gone on childcare costs anyway as he would have had to have been in full time childcare. We have a mortgage in an affordable area, no debts, we cut back on any luxuries and budget etc. We manage ok but we don't have much in the way of savings.

I’m uk I quit my job for 19 months but it did mean my partner works long hours and we have cut down on a lot of things i now have a part time admin job just 16 hours to help as a lot of bills have gone up, we only have one car, I don’t buy clothes etc I use what we have to take LO out

My husband has an above average wage, I stay at home and look after our son. We live in a housing association flat with quite cheap rent. We live quite frugally, we budget and save where we can. I am a decent cook and do lots of cooking from scratch and only our child eats meat, so this obviously keeps the shopping bill down. We don't have lots of savings, but we have some. We live in the UK.

My partner has above average wage but I’m not a SAHM. I work as a teacher 3 days a week. We could survive on his salary, our bills would be paid. But that’s it. Our bills would be paid. We are renovating our house, that costs money, days out cost money, holidays cost money. Clubs for the children cost money. We wouldn’t be able to afford any of the good stuff if I didn’t work, we would be surviving not thriving and that would make us all very unhappy I think.

My partner is on a very high salary. I freelance in my spare time but being a Mum, I don't have a lot of that 😂 so we live mainly on my partner's income. We live very comfortably to be fair and haven't made any sacrifices apart from my partner working mainly evenings (live in the UK but working for a US company from home). I understand that I'm very lucky and a lot of people don't have the option but to go back to work

Or the fact that some families are still living with their parents is one of the reasons why there are quite a few SAHM.