breastfeeding & comfort sucking

You’re definitely not doing anything wrong. I breastfed my second child for 16 months and my husband really struggled with it. He felt super shut out when it came to our little boy after we formula fed our first baby and he loved feeding her and being able to settle her without me. He felt like he was basically redundant because all our son wanted was to feed from me. Like I said you’re absolutely not doing anything wrong, it sounds like you’re doing an incredible job. I will say after going through it with my husband I do understand more why they struggle with it and I know I would probably be resentful if my husband was having all the lovely bonding moments and I wasn’t part of that. It’s so hard though and it did put a massive strain on our relationship because I felt so unsupported and I felt like I was just trying to do the best for our little boy even though I was also exhausted and touched out. Try and have a really open conversation about how you both feel and see if that

helps, but yeah the most important thing is your not incompetent and breastfeeding really does have so many benefits for baby. Newborn stage really is the trenches so you do what you need to do to get sleep x

No do not let him make you feel bad! Is this your first baby? With my first my partner and mother in law would act “supportive” of breastfeeding but then MIL would constantly say about expressing and bottle feeding to “give me a break and let him feed the baby”, I had to be strong and ignore it. Comfort sucking is very normal, especially if you don’t want to use a dummy, my first wouldn’t even take a dummy! It is hard because the baby will just want you and boob most of the time and it can make your partner and visitors frustrated because they want to see the baby but it is YOUR baby!! Your baby needs you and should have you as much as they need, it sounds like you are doing brilliantly, breastfeeding on demand is really important even if you think they are just comfort sucking, if baby is still doing the rabbit kicks with their tongue they are most likely still getting milk so it’s important not to take them off until they come off themselves. With sleep the only way my 3 week old

And 18 month old would sleep is with me and near the boobs, dream feeding saved my sleep and sanity and I don’t see a problem as long as it’s done safely! It’s different for everyone depending on if you’re a light sleeper and how safe you make your bed, but again it’s so so normal for babies to only want their mummies, you wouldn’t separate bear cubs from their mums it’s the exact same! You just have to do what works for you not anyone else, if he wants boob all the time great if he sleeps on his own in cot great if he wants to sleep near you great!

Sorry for the massive rant i just feel really strongly about breastfeeding!

Perhaps reassuring that he will get that time when the baby is a little bigger will help reassure him? Outlining benefits of breastfeeding and that the newborn stage doesn’t last forever, soon they will be able to go longer without feeds and he will get that time with the baby. I know it’s hard but you are truly doing the best thing you can do for your baby at the moment. Once baby is 6 months - you partner can help with weaning and 6 months is not that long to wait. Sending you strength in what you are doing because it’s amazing 🫶🫶🫶

1, you’re not being unreasonable 🙅🏻‍♀️

2, all the things you’ve said about age/routines/comfort feeding/bonding/expectations are correct; baby doesn’t realise they’re not in your womb yet; they want to be snuggled + held + fed on tap, because they just spent 9 months with those services; 11 days isn’t going to break that familiarity!

3, even if the choices you’ve made were for you (and not baby, as you’ve said), what’s the problem with that? You’re a person too, you have needs! Fill your cup too, mama!

Absolute tripe. Sorry not sorry.

My baby is 14 days and she also confort sucks and breastfeeds only. You are doing good! Is good for bonding.

No boobs = no opinion

Breastfeeding is THE most useful tool to both feed and comfort your baby. I think he is being massively unreasonable. My first refused the bottle until 9 months. It’s so useful later on as you can use it to immediately calm them down when they hurt themselves/for vaccines etc. We’ve introduced the occasional bottle of expressed milk with this baby, but it is necessary this time as I need to be able to do things with my toddler and leave the baby with my partner and I don’t want 9 months of bottle refusal (it’s my choice more than my partners). Even though we are doing this it is for 1 feed, 2-3x per week (and it is much more complicated than just feeding on demand as you have to fit in pumping between feeds; make sure you don’t get oversupply or under supply and wash sterilize stuff etc.)
You can’t have them self soothe at night at this stage so if you don’t use boob it will be endless rocking (not fun in the middle of the night) or pacifier.