Relationship help? Is it over?

Hi girls

On Wednesday my partner came in from work and asked what I had done today because there was a couple of things laying around the house that I hadn’t tidied. I explained I just spent the day chilling but did sweep and mop all the floors and you know, took care of our child. It ended up being a huge argument as he thinks these things only take a minute to do and I’m just being lazy. I suggested if it’s that easy then he could just do it and he just threw it in my face that I’m at home all the time (which I’m not I work 3 days a week) and he’s at work all the time so he hasn’t had the time.

We went to bed on an argument and didn’t speak all day yesterday until he was home and the first thing he said to me was “do you want to discuss what happened yesterday” and I said no. He then started again basically and said let’s go around the house and see the mess. He pointed to things like a couple of things on top of the microwave, a plate on the dining table from my lunch earlier that day and the kitchen drawers being messy. I got upset again and apologised that it’s clearly not up to his standard, but argued that the washing is done, the house is clean and the baby is fed. He basically argued that he doesn’t live like this and it’s not good enough. He then said he can see this is becoming really “bitter” and was basically suggesting our relationship coming to an end. I dismissed it and still cooked our family dinner, bathed the baby and did bedtime. After I do his lunch for work like usual and then we just go to bed and sit on our phones and don’t talk. The worst part of this all is that I don’t feel emotional. I feel a little bit sad but otherwise just numb! I don’t have any real emotions about this all, which I should after 5/6 years and a child together. Is it me? Am I depressed or something?

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Does he ever spend a day at home with baby on his own and u go out alll day like he does for work? It may be a realisation thing of not knowing how hard your day is even though u haven’t done everything

no he hasn’t - he did once but it was months ago when I went to a baby shower for the afternoon x

Absolutely not you. He’s clearly got a bee in his bonnet about how he thinks your day should look! I’m guessing he doesn’t take care of the baby by himself whilst you’re working? Maybe it’s time to tell him to try it himself, go away for 24 hours and see how clean the house is when you get home!

Men don’t understand that even though they go to work they’re getting adult interaction, a break from the home, a break from yourself and the baby and not having to do the most monotonous sh*t all day long!!

As far as you not feeling very emotional, was he like this before the baby? Is it getting too much? There’s many factors it could be sweetie, only you can sit down and have a good think about what really going on inside, maybe subconsciously you’ve been done for a little bit already?

I hope he fixes up for you and doesn’t lose a wonderful woman and mother! Always here to chat! X

Jeez has he ever taken care of your child on his own? It's basically impossible to do that and take care of the house at the same time. Maybe he needs a taste of his own medicine by being left alone with the kid all weekend and seeing how much housework he actually managed to do. Also i'm sorry but you're his partner, not his maid. His behaviour is gross!

Absolutely not you!! 🤷🏼‍♀️If my husband ever dared to pass comment on the state of the house I would be furious! I’ve been lucky with my husband that ever since having our little girl he’s been fab and does pitch in with the housework despite working 6 days out of 7. I did go away for 3 days with work a month ago and it was the first time he’d had her all by himself since she was tiny and when I got home he outright told me he appreciates me so much and is going to do a lot more to help out around the house so I think when they’re put in that position it makes them realise it’s not all that easy! Being a Mum is a full time job in itself!! I used to care so much about how my house looked but now I genuinely don’t care and do little bits here and there throughout the week🤷🏼‍♀️It sounds like your partner needs a reality check in the form of being left at home with your little one all day to realise it’s not that easy to do housework too😧 My inbox is always open if you need someone to talk to x

Take a day and literally don't do anything. Just chill with the baby. Have a coffee. He'll quickly realise how much you actually do

My other half used to make comments like this. I forced him to take a few weeks off. I went to work and he did everything, cooking, cleaning, bedtimes, groups, all the baby things.

It's safe to say the house work did not get any better 🤣 he now dosent say a thing even if the house is trashed. He just comes in and says hard day with her?

in our community

Is it bad of me to think this or no?

My husband has been abroad for work (1 day and exploring for 1 day) for 2 and a half days which means I’ve had both kids (1 year and 4 year old) for 2 and a half days plus cooking, cleaning, taking them to clubs, bedtimes!
He came home late afternoon and said I’m so tired, I just need to chill. I said can you wash up whilst I sort kids dinner out, he said he’ll do it later which means he won’t do it and I’ll end up doing it so I said no do it now please otherwise I’ll end up doing it and he said well you have been home and I’ve been away so you’ve just been relaxing.
Don’t know what planet he is on but having the kids alone for 2.5 days is not relaxing. I was stressed!

When he was away, I did miss him and wanted him to come back but now he’s back, I want him to go away again😂
Is that bad?

Post partum dad

I have a 2 month old. A few weeks ago my husband crashed out because he didn't feel like he was getting to bond with her. I started exclusively breastfeeding around that time and honestly didnt see the big deal. Baby and I left for a few days and when we got back home, everything was fine. He was extremely hands-on. He helped with my meals, her bedtime, bath, stories.....for a few weeks it was great. Then he randomly sounds depressed af. He says our lo is better off without him, he wants to sleep all day , he asks me not to watch tv then tried playing a video game. He refused to reply to me when i asked any follow-up questions. Then he woke up our baby trying to race me to the bathroom first thing in the morning . He's doing a weird mix of crying, trying, and giving up. Im starting to feel like I cant handle him not being able to handle life with baby and just want to be alone. Are there resources for men?

My 2 year old won’t eat nothing but snacks

Is this normal ? He won’t even try anything I eat .. he really only like pizza fries and spaghetti… nuggets and snacks bananas some other fruit but like anything else he won’t eat if try but I don’t want to force him I’m just I feel like bad I mean he isn’t losing weight I breastfeed mostly still

Really bothered by this

A friend posted this and it really bothers me because that is exactly how she parents her kid, and it's rather unfortunate because when our kids hang out together, her kid has a meltdown at least 5x within an hour. We have know them for years and it's only gotten worse. My kids will concede to hers, because they don't want to see their friend crying, but it sucks because they give up so much of their toys and enjoyment to keep the peace. We aren't hanging out as much anymore but it's rather sad to think she doesn't intervene more in her child tantrums and just let's it slide

Shift worker daddies - advice please?

My husband works shifts (6am-6pm days or 6pm-6am nights) so when he’s on shift we either get about an hour or 2 before he goes to work or an hour or 2 when we gets home with him.

I don’t think people who aren’t married/have babies with shift workers fully understand the impact of feeling like a solo parent sometimes.

Does anyone have any advice? I do have parents who can help but I struggle to leave my baby with others as I always feel like they don’t understand the need for tracking wake windows or feeds and our baby will not sleep unless we black out a room or go for a car drive . Everyone seems to think ‘if he’s tired he’ll drop off’ - no he’ll just get overtired and have to then pay for it during his night sleep. So I feel like it’s just easier for me to do it all myself.

When my husbands off work he is great but I do take the mental load of telling him what to do or even reminding him of wake windows etc because he’s not here and forgets routines. He’s also being tested for ADHD currently so there’s that on top of shift work.

Just looking for advice on how to stay sane/keep routines or share loads with shifts workers?

Thank you ❤️

Feeding

My son is coming up to five months and I just started giving him oatmeal and rice cereal. When can you start trying veggies or fruits? I only give him the oatmeal or rice cereal once a day right now which is what the paediatrician had said to do. I’m just curious to when anybody tried anything else with their kids cause my son eats a lot of formula and he’s VERY curious when I eat.