Not wanting second child

I love my siblings they’re my life, I feel like so many only children say they were bored and wished they had a sibling but tbh I’m right there with you!! I don’t know if we can do more than one. You’re not alone!

I decided on 1.... was very happy at that. Happened to have a surprise and number 2 came anyway and honestly i love it just as much. Just you do you.

Me and my husband do have certain strains on our relationship now but we are stronger than ever. We work as a team. The dynamics change but the love is just as strong x

You’re not alone and you’re not wrong for choosing what truly supports your family. As an awareness and connection coach, I see so many parents quietly carrying the weight of “what everyone else is doing,” even when it doesn’t align with their capacity or values.

What you’re practicing is discernment. You’re tuning in, not just following along and that’s conscious parenting at its finest.

The truth? Many couples feel the strain, but few speak about it. You’re ahead of the curve by noticing, naming, and honoring what actually feels right for you.

One child can be a complete and beautiful choice. You’re not behind , you’re awake. ♥️

My dad was an only child.
I’m an only child.
My daughter is an only child.
My husband has a half brother he despises.

We never even considered having more than one. We’d rather be able to put our full love and resources into one kiddo than possibly half ass two or more kids.

I also just…as an only child I was so grateful not to have siblings. It always seemed messy and loud to me.

My daughter was an easy baby & toddler but I've worked early ed for so long & knew all about infancy-toddler age already. We didn't plan on 2 close in age & wound up with 2, 5 years apart as we are 4 short weeks from c section now. I had a brother growing up & my mom messed up not only any relationship we could of had by abusing me only but causing him to be sociopathic from him being the best only lol. Then my husband is very close to his sister. So I always wanted 2 but I wasn't ready until recently & glad we waited. I would of liked maybe 4 year gap but that didn't happen lol. We tried when she was 2.5. Struggled ttc her 4.5 years as well so it's ironic the timing came the same amount of time.

So I always wanted two, I just had my second, it is hard work and if the relationship with your partner is already a challenge having a second really won't help. My husband is super helpful and we try to spend time together whenever we can.
Our age gap is 4, and I think we would have struggled more if it was smaller than that. My first is so happy with his little sister and at only 6 months you can tell that he is her favourite person, she laugh mostly for him, stop crying when he is around, they just already love each other , hug a lot, and I cant wait to see them grew up together.
That said, you do what's best for you and your family dynamic. Being able to focus on one child is a great advantage for the child. I know I'm not spending has much time with my son and that's hard to accept, he is closer to his dad now, so this is the downside for me to have more than one, so enjoy every moment with your child and don't worry about what others do or say

I have a half sister and our relationship wasn’t always the best. We have 7 years age gap and with different fathers which impacted our relationship negatively a lot. I was very lonely as a child and I was always jealous of friends with siblings, particularly close in age. I want the same for my child although after actually giving birth and taking care of my 7 weeks baby I find it very challenging and have no idea how I will manage with more children, but even so I’m determined to give more siblings to my baby.
If you want to have just 1 child and you’re happy with your decision then what other people are saying or doing has nothing to do with you. It’s a personal decision. Do what works best for you. Other people won’t take care of your secund child for you.

this is beautifully said. I’m close with my brother and he is honestly the best. But… I know sooo many people who can’t stand their siblings, some of them since childhood and some only since adolescence/adulthood.

omg same. Well, my older two are 21 months apart but they're so close and I feel bad knowing our baby (6 months) won't have that but I can't go through another pregnancy and the lack of sleep is unreal. I hope she doesn't feel too lonely with her siblings there even though they're a lot older. 🙏🏻

So yeah, you just have to do what best for YOU. Not what everyone else is doing. I've always wanted to have more than one but I also totally understand why you would only want the one!

Same. We r 1 and done. My daughter is super easy tho vs other kids she rarely cries. My pregnancy was way too hard on me due to my medical issues. My daughter is in the 99%tile so it’s extremely hard on me to carry her. My husband would like another some days then others he doesn’t. I do not want another baby

agreed! This makes perfect sense.

Idk why people think all only kids are lonely or deprived in some way. I never wanted siblings. lol! I had my parents attention and we got to travel across the world as a family.

My brother and his wife and my sister and her husband both said 1 and done it’s more normal then you think these days do what is good for you! Positive vibes your way 💕

We just felt our family wasn’t done. We know we can make it through. If you’re done be done :) if you aren’t at peace with being done then keep the option open but be in BC or use another contraception

One and done. Although me and my partner both have siblings and the connection we have with them. We are happy with just our little girl and our dog the family feels complete.
Plus we are in our mid thirties had problems conceiving then a 48 hour labour and I dont want to be on my forties with a newborn it’s hard work

We have decided on 1 for several reasons and that’s our choice and we are happy with it

I have been one and done since the birth of my baby. She’s a really good baby and I’ve just never thought I could handle the newborn phase again with a toddler, so I probably just won’t do it. Factor in the fact that my partner is not as helpful as I thought he would be, I *really* don’t want to bring another kid into the mix in case he struggles to step up. It sounds sad, but I’m trying to come to terms with my partner just not being as good as I imagined or he promised to be, and it’s okay, but even if he wanted a second child (he doesn’t), his behaviour would be a strong reason why I wouldn’t want to

I feel very similar to you, I’m one and done and I’m still a SAHM to our 2 year old. My daughter is not super challenging either, she eats, sleeps and listens about as well as a 2 year old can 😂
But I wasn’t even sold on one before we had her. I knew I didn’t want a big family, or more than I could handle. I want to giver her all our love, attention and time. I was an only child til 7 and I was lonely, but I had a working mum and stepdad and spent a lot of time alone. Then when I had 2 half sisters with massive age gaps, I became the default childcare for them, which I resented massively and still feel some lingering resentment for now, I’m also not especially close to either of my half sisters I think because I had to parent them so much. I also have two much younger half brothers on the other side that I get along with when I see, but otherwise we don’t talk.

My husband is a great dad and I feel that we could handle another if we both wanted to, but we don’t want to.

I’m with 3 but my 1st 2 I had when 18 & 20 yo. So now I have 17 and 16 teens and a 4m but they love him. I did want more closer to age as my 1st 2 kids but life was very difficult and it was t fair or right to have a baby all those yrs, but I did want another. Still it will be like he is an only child as his sisters will most likely leave home before he goes to school.

We are one and done! I definitely couldn’t do pregnancy or the newborn stage again!

Try not to compare to others as not everyone has the same child or is in the same situation. Some people have a bigger village and support around them for example. If I had waited until my son was 3 I probably wouldn't have had a second as 3 years is so hard!! But I did conceive when he was two with our second when he was a bit easier. You hear loads of people saying 1-2 is easier than 0-1 and in some ways it was but in a lot of ways it's been extremely challenging. And one child alone can totally also be really challenging and overwhelming too!

My husband and I decided to have another one when our daughter was 3. I decided I wanted her to have a sibling since we won't always be here for her. My daughter was such an easy kid. She slept through the night at a month old (I was still up to pump), extremely smart, and just a true joy. My son had tongue tie, hardly gained any weight, woke 3 times a night, constantly needs me (cries when I leave the room to pee) he was just a lot. My husband and I decided if we want one more we will do it when he is 4 and we will forget about the trauma. It does take a toll on marriage but coming out of that roommate phase back to husband and wife is amazing. But through the tears and exhaustion we always chose each other everyday.

I think it must either be a longing you have or you don’t, as my 3 year old has been very challenging (colic, CMPA, severe reflux, failure to thrive and a hiatus hernia he may need surgery on, so we practically lived in the hospital for the first 18 months, plus he has a very, very difficult personality), plus my pregnancy was quite difficult, and my husband and I have really struggled and are now in marriage counselling. But I would absolutely love another! It doesn’t seem likely as Ive had 4 miscarriages, but I would keep trying and trying despite the heartache of the miscarriages as I’m so desperate for another baby. So there’s probably no logic to that, it’s just an intense longing I can’t get rid of! So
I think other mums definitely do feel the way youre feeling, but their desire for another one is just stronger than the negatives. But if you don’t feel that then that’s great you already have the complete family you want, and I know there are so many positives to having an only 😊

I have 2 siblings and am really close with them
My partner has 1 brother who lives on the opposite side of the world, has nothing in common with and rarely speaks to outside "Happy Birthday" " Merry Christmas"
People who wants 2nd, 3rd children etc should do so because they want those individual children and not because they think they "should" or for a romanticised idea of siblings, as there's no guarantees in this life.
I can't do the newborn trenches again and financially it's just not possible, so I am one and done and my daughter will still have a full and happy life, of that I'm sure

very similar boat. I have an amazing career and having a second would probably stretch my mental health thin. And my son is absolutely amazing, I can’t get rid of the feeling that the second baby would be very difficult to make up for my first one haha.

One and done! I don't know many peeps that only have 1 child, and if anything that just confirmed that 1 is enough for us :)
We certainly couldn't go through it all again.

When i had my first i thought NO WAY. NOOOOO WAY am i doing this again. My marriage took.a backseat, i broke apart and picked myself back up multiple times (extremely difficult sleepless baby). I have no family around, no friends, no village. Noone. But when my boy turned 9 months, we decided to get pregnant because we had noone, which meant our son had noone, no kids to grow up with. They are now 10 months and 2 years+4 months and they are eachothers' world already. BUT THIS IS NOT EASY. It is harder than i can put into words, any mother with one will probably be able to imagine it gets drastically harder with two and a small age gap. Every couple and every family dynamic is unique. And no not everyone wants/needs a sibling as an adult. We did what we knew was right and what we could handle. A 3d baby is so completely out of the equation, it would break us. Our 2nd was even more difficult than our 1st and we havent slept like human beings, in 3 years🤣

For us, I had a great pregnancy, complicated labor. My husband looked at me dozing on the bed with zero color to me and purple eyes while his mother said “she went through hell to bring you your baby into the world as healthy as she is” and that scared him shitless that another could be worse on me. Then the financial and mental health end of it came in to play. Hubs can’t handle more than one, I want to have the energy to devote to making memories with her, we want to take her traveling and the school aspect of it. She’s a difficult kid but she’s so sweet and good in general. We feel like we lucked out on the whole with her. If we ever opt for another, it might be through adoption.