I need parenting tips pls - spoiled child

Hi! Your daughter is close to 2? I think this is normal behavior for a toddler close to 2 years, they have LOTS of feelings and don’t know how to express them. Mine bangs his head if he doesn’t get what he wants which is so hard to ignore cause I don’t want him to get hurt but he also knows it gets attention. I think you are doing good but setting boundaries and ignoring her when she cries. I think she will learn quickly. I don’t think she is spoilt, it’s normal toddler behavior, so don’t blame yourself or feel guilty, you are doing great :)

Also don’t be too upset with boyfriend’s mom or sister, it’s hard to set boundaries when it’s not your own kid and they are crying.

Im not upset w them per say, they want to give her everything they can in a nice way like if its a cookie or a toy w.e which is okay but all things in moderation, they dont know how to say no - not in like a malicious way but they will literally say like “no please i cant say no to her” (shes the first grandchild/niece) but in the long run that is going to teach her bad lessons - that she will get what she wants always and thats not the case 😩it could be a normal almost 2 year old thing but omg its like a blow to my head as a few weeks before she was so well behaved now shes ignoring us when we talk to her and getting mad when we correct her behavior…. Omg can you imagine when these kids become teenagers!?? 😂😂

really? That’s a pretty big change! Maybe she is acting out a little cause she misses you too? My son, has always been pretty adamant with what he wants, but definitely worsened when his hours at daycare increased due to my work schedule. I wonder if they miss us?

Hahaha, im hoping we can reason with them when they are teenagers 😂 but I bet that’s a whole other ball game 😂

Calling her spoiled and a brat won’t help the meltdowns or tantrums stop. (Like even saying it infront of her / where she can hear wouldn’t be helpful, not assuming you do, just stating it plainly)

“I understand your frustrated I said no, when your ready to listen I can explain why I said no” or better yet, try explaining why the no is about to be said example being like; “we are going to eat real food soon so no cookie right now, sorry try again another time”

A book that’s super helpful for learning how to handle defiance is “the declarative language handbook”

Your girl isn’t even 2 years old yet, when she was with your mil she obviously wasn’t learning how to handle things not going her way, but that’s your job as a parent, to teach & model & redirect, but everybody with a 1-3 year old is dealing with a lil tiny wanna be tyrant. It’s not a child being manipulative, it’s a child attempting to get their needs met the best way they know how

you have a very good point. I dont have other moms around me my age. Its just like my mom/mil/ aunts (my moms sisters) kinda thing. I struggle to remember shes just a baby. I constantly need to remind myself of that. I do speak to her calmly even if im pissed because i hated being yelled at as a kid. But theres many time i gotta step away and have my boyfriend take over because she really tests my patience (shes just like me😂) i just dont know how to get her to understand, i dont want to hit her, and talking isnt doing it. Ofc consistency is key so i will keep going but idk if ignoring her during her meltdowns is better or if i need to be doing something about it. I just dont know what to do and need suggestions

Co-regulation! Which is hard!!! Sometimes you’ve gotta step away, but Even giving space for yourself, shows her one way how to handle big feelings! Especially when you come back and are able to help her finish moving through it. (:

When my son was around 1 I’d pick him up and move him further away from whatever it was he wanted but couldn’t have, sometimes we’d spin around on our way to a different spot, to try to find laughter instead of more frustration. Sometimes that was enough, most the time it wasn’t, then I’d just have to say “I know, it’s upsetting but we aren’t doing that right now here’s x or y we could do instead” and just working at redirecting to something that I could say yes to 🤷‍♀️

Redirecting her somewhere else.. hmm i like that. Ill try it, ill see how it goes. I am a very cup half empty type of person, i see the negative before i see the positive & ive been trying to rewire my own brain for years 🥲 and now as a mom i just want the best for my daughter and not give her the negativity i was given growing up. that is a positive way to redirect her anger into playfulness. I will really try it out, thanks ☺️

I’m still working on not being so yelly myself, my mom did a number on me lolol but I’ll come back with a bunch of links to instagram accounts that I love to go to for inspo on things to try & general reminders about the fact that kids are kids!

https://www.instagram.com/playfulheartparenting?igsh=MXF1M3FxZ2hzaDBtYQ==

Loooove this whole account but this video in particular is very helpful https://www.instagram.com/reel/C_byI8_SLf2/?igsh=d2Jjb3M1b255Z2Jq

In relation to building a healthy relationship with food while keeping a healthy relationship with your kid! https://www.instagram.com/reel/DLiu7RJx8SE/?igsh=MXgxd3dzeHgyZDA2MA==

Another great account with a lot of like real life examples & good break downs (: https://www.instagram.com/dariusryankadem?igsh=MXFjd2RrcnJnb3lsYg==

Oh oh oh and for myself & fixing my silly brain, this girls videos! Their like mini exposure therapy lol https://www.instagram.com/reel/DExjsnkyM1u/?igsh=MWdwNzZybzR0bm9uYg==

Aww honestly thank you sm ! Ill check it out. Moms helping moms 🥲 i appreciate your honesty and help ☺️❤️

She’s not spoiled, this is normal behavior for almost 2 year old. They are learning to regulate and its our job as parents to guide them through the our emotions

This is just common almost 2 year old behavior. We have had to start utilizing time out which is really hard for 3 days but after the days they understand what it is. My son has a problem with climbing on counters, throwing toys and hitting he gets one try to stop doing what he’s doing and i take him to time out. He is crying, throwing himself around a whole show but i stand strong and he sits for 4 minutes OR until he calms down and i can talk to him so he understands why he is in timeout.

Try talking to the care takers. Have them do the same thing you do when you are disciplining!! Consistency across the board helps. If you're going back to being with her they may take a little while to break that but eventually it will