Following my earlier poll, out of interest -

I was hit growing up culturally. It would be very intense to at times. I got the chopsticks, broom, hangers etc. My daughter still pretty young. I might do a small peck if needed. Try my best to do time out etc.

Just want to clarify, I wasn’t just hit. I was ab*sed severely. I will only give my kids a little spank on the bum if absolutely necessary.

I wasn’t hit ALL the time but I remember the odd spanking or mum chasing me around the dinner table with a wooden spoon or a slipper lol. Definitely won’t do that shit to my own kid.

research tells us time and time again that even a little spank or a little peck is unnecessary, unhelpful; and harmful! I would just commit to not hitting your kids at all! Let’s break that generational cycle!!

There is definitely a difference between disciplining and your child and beating your child. I was disciplined growing up.And I would definitely discipline mines. That's why a lot of kids run over their parents. Then you in public And can't get control of the situation.

Discipline doesn’t have to be physical. You can hold fair boundaries and teach your child how to behave well and have respect etc without needing to inflict pain on them.
I’ve been smacked, I certainly won’t be smacking my own children.

I always think if it’s a simple as ‘a little pop (or whatever you call it) just teaches them how to behave’ then surely you don’t mind a teacher, nursery worker or anyone else doing it?…..

I wasn't hit or slapped but I was dragged/grabbed. I can't remember what I'd done but my dad dragged me from the kitchen to the living room by my collar when my friend was over and I felt so embarrassed.
I'd never do that to my son.

I was hit a lot and I will never ever hit my child. You don't need to cause a child (or anyone for that matter) any amount of physical pain to get your point across. All being hit meant for me was I was scared to speak out against anything my parents did. I will never punish my child for challenging something I do or say for example, if he genuinely thinks I'm in the wrong, as long as he listens eventually if I'm right. I can get my point across without making him think he's going to get hit or making him fear me

We will NEVER spank our son. It's disgusting as an adult we need to do better

To a child, there's no difference between spanking and worse abuse. It rewires their brains the same way.

"By using MRI assessment, researchers observed changes in brain response while the children viewed a series of images featuring facial expressions that indicate emotional response, such as frowns and smiles. They found that children who had been spanked had a higher activity response in the areas of their brain that regulate these emotional responses and detect threats — even to facial expressions that most would consider non-threatening.

Perhaps surprisingly, says Cuartas, spanking elicits a similar response in children’s brains to more threatening experiences like sexual abuse. “You see the same reactions in the brain,” Cuartas explains. “Those consequences potentially affect the brain in areas often engaged in emotional regulation and threat detection, so that children can respond quickly to threats in the environment.” "

https://www.gse.harvard.edu/ideas/usable-knowledge/21/04/effect-spanking-brain

you can’t control another human being, you can only control yourself. “controlling” someone else is abuse. my son behaves appropriately for his age and if we’re in public and he’s behaving in an age appropriate way, but in a setting where the behavior is unwanted, we leave. we take a break, walk around, get some fresh air, etc. there are absolutely zero valid reasons to physically “discipline” a child, or anyone for that matter. imagine if you messed up at work and your boss hit you. that’s not okay

Sorry pressed the wrong button when scrolling.

I wasn’t hit and won’t hit mine

In ECE & Parenting you learn about Developmentally Appropriate Discipline. In there is long-term research & information that a Parent choosing to do a seldom light tap on the child's wrist, is very appropriate for ages 20Mo of age to 3 years. If done correctly, you talk to your child before & after, you count to 3 slowly. & you love them. The force of the tap is not hard & can only be less than 1inch--

needless to say if parents are using this method of discipline at home, & their child is happy, healthy, and loved. Then I, as a teacher myself, understand that choice of discipline. If done correctly, it should only be a handful of times. It's something we all learn about in Foundations of Early Ed, & Parenting. However, I do know, some states I believe it's illegal? I teach in NH & I can tell you numerous families who "spanked" their child. Just because one does or doesn't, doe not mean either is wrong. What works for others might not work for you & that's okay🍎💕

what’s the point of tapping them on the wrist? that actually makes no sense. it’s supposed to hurt to be “effective”. if it doesn’t hurt, why not boop them on the nose? pet the top of their head? pull their finger? like seriously, explain it to me like i’m 5 how just touching them on the hand when they do something wrong is somehow helpful at all please😂 because any other small action that supposedly doesn’t hurt them would just be weird asf to do. so…. why?

Sometimes a child who is jumping off furniture, unruly, tantrums for 5 days would benefit from a light tap. This helps them realize you've tried A to Z to already help them navigate those emotions/ physical output. Moreover maybe the toddler is putting a baby in harm, it's all situational. Either way it is developmentally appropriate as a method of disciplining your child in our state. If a child is say at 3, 5, 8+, a teacher or doctor wouldn't be concerned they were spanked a handful of times especially when the child shows- if asked, what the spank looked like. We see it, we have to ask your kids, & we agree with that form of discipline. If it's hard- that's another story.

respectfully, please don’t generalise your response and opinions as if they speak for all teachers. In my experience as a teacher, I absolutely don’t agree with you/this approach.
I don’t think a tap is effective (nor is it a recommended approach or developmentally appropriate or whatever else you’ve called it, in the UK at least) it doesn’t teach a child that they shouldn’t jump off of furniture, certainly doesn’t show them you’ve tried everything else prior to that?! Doesn’t help with emotional coregulation for tantrums.
And it’s never the only option or the best option. I certainly wouldn’t agree with a parent who told me that’s how they were choosing to discipline at home- it doesn’t matter how hard, how frequently, what ‘situational’ circumstances it’s done in. If you put your hands on a child to teach them no, I don’t agree with it and I would be concerned for their welfare.

I’m a teacher and I’m very concerned EVERY time a kid is spanked. Wtf are you talking about? This is not a thing.

Any teacher worth anything is against spanking children

i think you’re not understanding my question. let me try to rephrase. i’m not asking what situation it would be “appropriate” for.
the purpose of physical “discipline“ is to make them feel pain to show them what they’re doing it not okay. so if you’re just tapping them light so that they won’t feel any pain, what’s the point?
we should not be purposely causing any amount of pain on our children, not even a little, so what would a tap on the wrist do if it’s not hurting them? if it doesn’t hurt it would be the same effect as any other action i mentioned previously.

These conversations are always so interesting because either side isn't going to convince the other.

It's futile.

For the people who spank, are you going to do it when your child becomes older? If not...why not? Although I already know the answer 🤡 because they get old enough to whoop your ass for it

Hitting is a phase toddlers go through... Toddlers. We try to get them out of it quickly. Why? Coz hitting is wrong...

why is that? are you just unwilling to see another point of view? are you unable to parent without hitting your child? do you just not know how to? or you’re able to and it’s just easier for you to hit a child to get them to listen?

My dad used to smack me and my sister on the bum when we misbehaved. He stopped while we was still young and now says he regrets it (he was hit as a child as you can imagine at home and school). Sometimes I can't help but resort to that, I think because I subconciously see it as a solution because it worked on me, but I hate it and I want to stop too